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My fellow Americans, how could you dare
Vote against political healthcare? -
I have long been hunted by my nefarious foes;
A vast conspiracy fomented by the right wing. -
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In a far, primitive part of the world
The automated computer drives whirled. -
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For twenty and twelve we had long awaited
Tragic scenes of hellfire and brimstone; -
Me and my big sister Amanda
Were once photographed by a panda. -
Ka-whack! My face smashed on the reinforced glass door.
I gazed up, eyes focused on the tiled ceiling -
Three intrepid souls blindly going about their business
One of the three was siezed by a sense of pea green queasiness. -
I got to the diner early that morning
Only to find posted a horrible warning -
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The Great Senator coughed and cleared his throat;
Smiling broadly, the mischievous goat. -
Step right up folks, and view my wares.
I can see from your wide-eyed stares26 lines, 10 comments, on Jun 29 3:54 PM. In Humor
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Folding the paper; a crisp, clean crease.
Each of the planes sides must be exact -
I love my job as the bra inspection guy.
All day I sit watching women bouncing high15 lines, 16 comments, on May 10 9:35 PM. In Humor
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I wish to sanction this latest Congressional action;,
It is a stimulus bill that we clearly need to support. -
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She swims through the mall, from stall to stall,
Teeth glittering as she spies a sale. -
I just came back from fishing on Schitt’s Creek;
I caught one boot after nearly a week. -
Joe went down to the big city one day,
It was a long trip so the thought he would stay. -
The Great Senator could scarcely hide his glee
When the auto executives came for tea. -
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Thrift shopping skills are not a curse,
Overspending is certainly worse. -
The Great Senator slowly stretches and yawns.
The education bill has just expired. -
Mom says I am just like my old man
Sitting in here, reading on the can -
The other day I had to jump start my son’s truck
The battery was dead and he was out of luck -
I just got back from the budget meeting;
Far too hot and inadequate seating. -
Fellow Senators, I love this corrupt nation.
When I look upon the names sent for comfirmation -
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I’m sick of being overworked and underpaid.
Looking back, I cannot believe how long I’ve stayed -
The Vampire Clown was only a tall tale
Dusted off and retold by those who’d curtail -
No longer will you grace my proffered arm,
Nor shall I be there to shield you from harm. -
Gentlemen, I do not understand the drama
Surrounding the President-Elect, Obama. -
Oh you who are so lofty and wise;
I am far too ignorant and slow -
Oh my sweetest Drew,
What you put me through. -
He arose and took his place at the podium,
Cleared his throat to prepare for lofty idiom. -
Dastardly delinquents are drinking in bars,
Then drive downtown in their decrepit Dodge cars. -
Finest beauty, discrete in dainty lace
Brings a blessed smile to my grim face. -
'This burgundy tastes like water',
Said the walrus to the otter -
One times one is one,
See the poor little doggy run. -
I arose this morning at about quarter to ten
Thinking that I would cook myself a scrambled egg. -
I am on an extraordinary streak,
Accepting my seventh bribe in a week. -
Ladies and Gentleman, I’ve come up with a plan
That will save our nation as no other plan can. -
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The Great Senator tottered to center stage.
Transmutation was suddenly all the rage. -
Resplendent in his uniform of black and white
The humble mouse chaser becomes a dashing knight. -
Little Bo Peep lost her sheep and didn't know where to find them.
She looked high and she looked low all through the town she did go. -
We all had signed on to guard the Weiner Mobile;
For ten mangy stray pups, it was such a big deal. -
It has been a difficult two weeks.
She has been searching for Mr. Tweeks. -
Late one summer night while the crickets sang
As I pondered my girlfriend’s ceramics -
As he was walking down Pennsylvania Avenue,
The Great Senator smoothed his five hundred dollar hairdo; -
Years ago, it was in the early spring,
When the snow melts fast and the robins sing23 lines, 6 comments, on Oct 15 6:20 PM 2008. In Humor
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20 lines, 27 comments, on Oct 14 2:00 AM 2008. In Adult Humor
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At first I depised this luxury vacation spot.
I was quickly swarmed by these silly wing-ed boys; -
Do you think we really care about the poor
When we debate taxes on the Senate floor? -
I am not really such a bad guy, you see.
You've never heard what the three pigs did to me. -
My fellow esteemed Americans,
You may recall my last speech on jerricans. -
We three are from Los Bandidos;
Tougher than the average gang. -
The two stood at their podiums poised for debate
Their faces were contorted and clouded with hate13 lines, 22 comments, on Sep 19 10:07 AM 2008. In Humor
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24 lines, 28 comments, on Sep 13 2:16 PM 2008. In Adult humor
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You guys will never believe what I have done.
This is why Mom says I am my father’s son.10 lines, 8 comments, on Sep 10 8:45 AM 2008. In Humor
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Okay. Dammit. Where's that lazy little muse?
That sucker had better have a good excuse... -
Censorship of free speech has gotten off kilter
We are now obligated to pass all words through -
Welcome to the exlusive Slumberland Resort!
A grand place for overworked muses to cavort. -
He slicked back his thick pompadour
And rose regally to his feet -
Of all the really stupid things I have done
The idiocy described here is number one. -
My dear friend, Mister Cupid,
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I stumbled upon a blossom
Mumbling to her, "You’re awesome." -
Gather 'round all of you wannabe starlets,
Casting couch actresses, and silicone harlots. -
Little Jack Horner,
From down on the corner -
Spirit Eagle is my "Indian" name.
Do you like it? Its part of my game. -
This is the tragic story of poor Melvin Mouse.
We once lived together in this very same house. -
I have always been a believer in timeliness
Being almost sacred, right next to godliness. -
Rocky is crazy ice cool in blue,
While I sport an mohawk hairdo. -
I am Miss Kitty, fresh off the Sydney bus.
There's no one around that I can trust. -
At the defense table in District Court Number 3
Anxiously, sat my two younger brother pigs and me. -
Welcome to the Great Bikini Bullfight! Brought to you LIVE, every Saturday night!
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I was once a happy, carfree squirrel;
Way back when I was a little girl.5 lines, 12 comments, on Mar 30 8:09 AM 2008. In Humor -
Dear Roland, I write to you
Hope you're enjoying the Florida sun. -
Hiya mate, the name is Charlie. My owner, Shaggy, loves his Harley.
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Shovel gripped in sweaty hand, knuckles white with fear, The Kiwi stalked the Weta, stealthily drawing near.5 lines, 4 comments, on Feb 5 8:40 PM 2008. In Humor
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