List: Humor

• Consumer Complaint

  31 lines, 20 comments, on Oct 18 3:33 PM. In Thoughts, Society, Lawsuits
• The Great Senator's Perspective on the Healthcare Debate

  My fellow Americans, how could you dare
  Vote against political healthcare?

  23 lines, 30 comments, on Oct 11 10:48 AM. In Humor, Satire, Politics, Society
• Vast Right Wing Conspiracy

  I have long been hunted by my nefarious foes;
  A vast conspiracy fomented by the right wing.

  23 lines, 9 comments, on Oct 5 7:13 PM. In Humor, Satire, Conspiracy, Politics
• Limerick for a Brick Layer

  4 lines, 16 comments, on Oct 2 5:07 PM. In Adult, Humor
• Monkey Business at the Call Center

  In a far, primitive part of the world
  The automated computer drives whirled.

  25 lines, 12 comments, on Oct 2 8:24 AM. In Humor, Satire, Society
• A Dirty Limerick

  7 lines, 20 comments, on Sep 25 6:03 PM. In Adult, Humor, Limerick
• The Rose

  Today I stopped to smell a fragrant rose;
  The most beautiful of nature's flowers.

  5 lines, 14 comments, on Sep 12 2:06 PM. In Nature, Humor
• A Look Back at 2012

  For twenty and twelve we had long awaited
  Tragic scenes of hellfire and brimstone;

  21 lines, 9 comments, on Sep 12 2:04 PM. In Humor, Sarcasm
• The Sitting

  Me and my big sister Amanda
  Were once photographed by a panda.

  10 lines, 8 comments, on Sep 4 7:23 AM. In Humor, Children
• Here's Your Sign

  Ka-whack! My face smashed on the reinforced glass door.
  I gazed up, eyes focused on the tiled ceiling

  16 lines, 30 comments, on Aug 21 7:13 PM. In Humor, Pain, Dedication
• Mutilated Mice - The Untold Story

  Three intrepid souls blindly going about their business
  One of the three was siezed by a sense of pea green queasiness.

  10 lines, 27 comments, on Aug 17 5:49 AM. In Humor, Weird, Fractured Fairy Tale
• Better Off Dead - A Modern Lament

  I got to the diner early that morning
  Only to find posted a horrible warning

  32 lines, 27 comments, on Aug 16 9:07 PM. In Humor, Thoughts, Society, Coffee
• Kenny Chesney Left Emotional Scars

  20 lines, 21 comments, on Jul 28 9:36 PM. In Adult, Humor
• The Great Senator's Stimulus Plan

  The Great Senator coughed and cleared his throat;
  Smiling broadly, the mischievous goat.

  19 lines, 13 comments, on Jul 20 9:40 PM. In Humor, Sarcasm, Politics, Nature, Environmentalism
• In Need of Quick Cash

  Step right up folks, and view my wares.
  I can see from your wide-eyed stares

  26 lines, 10 comments, on Jun 29 3:54 PM. In Humor
• Paper Flyers

  Folding the paper; a crisp, clean crease.
  Each of the planes sides must be exact

  28 lines, 13 comments, on Jun 13 4:37 PM. In Weird, Humor
• Haute Cuisine - An Epicurian Sonnet

  History, Dark, Humor

  16 lines, 29 comments, on May 24 5:29 PM
• The Inspector

  I love my job as the bra inspection guy.
  All day I sit watching women bouncing high

  15 lines, 16 comments, on May 10 9:35 PM. In Humor
• The Great Senator Waxes Oxymoronic

  I wish to sanction this latest Congressional action;,
  It is a stimulus bill that we clearly need to support.

  26 lines, 22 comments, on Apr 28 8:12 AM. In Thoughts, Humor, Politics, Current Events
• Fantasy by TV Light

  11 lines, 24 comments, on Apr 5 12:26 AM. In Adult, Sensual, Humor
• The Great Senator Hires An Aide

  41 lines, 15 comments, on Apr 3 11:22 AM. In Humor, Satire, Politics, Adult
• Mall Sharks

  She swims through the mall, from stall to stall,
  Teeth glittering as she spies a sale.

  29 lines, 24 comments, on Mar 27 9:46 AM. In Humor, Society, Shopping
• Fishing on Schitt's Creek

  I just came back from fishing on Schitt’s Creek;
  I caught one boot after nearly a week.

  19 lines, 26 comments, on Mar 25 12:09 PM. In Humor, Nature, Fire, Gators
• Upriver

  It has been a little more than a week
  Since I arrived at this place on Schitt’s Creek.

  11 lines, 25 comments, on Mar 24 8:15 AM. In Humor, Nature, Moose, Fishing
• The Outhouse Key

  Joe went down to the big city one day,
  It was a long trip so the thought he would stay.

  31 lines, 23 comments, on Mar 21 1:12 PM. In Humor, Society, Outhouses
• The Great Senator Dines Out

  The Great Senator could scarcely hide his glee
  When the auto executives came for tea.

  79 lines, 26 comments, on Mar 14 4:58 PM. In Humor, Politics, Gluttony, Weird
• Plastic Milk Jugs

  18 lines, 19 comments, on Feb 22 8:31 PM. In Adult, Humor
• Shopping Spree

  Thrift shopping skills are not a curse,
  Overspending is certainly worse.

  18 lines, 17 comments, on Feb 21 10:22 AM. In Humor, Society, Silliness
• The Great Sentaor's Work Habits

  The Great Senator slowly stretches and yawns.
  The education bill has just expired.

  25 lines, 10 comments, on Feb 15 2:33 PM. In Humor, Satire, Politics, Thoughts
• Peace and Quiet

  Mom says I am just like my old man
  Sitting in here, reading on the can

  18 lines, 25 comments, on Feb 15 8:02 AM. In Humor, Family, Children
• Jumpstarting Trucks

  The other day I had to jump start my son’s truck
  The battery was dead and he was out of luck

  36 lines, 15 comments, on Feb 9 10:41 PM. In Humor, Life
• The Great Senator Vents His Wrath

  I just got back from the budget meeting;
  Far too hot and inadequate seating.

  19 lines, 16 comments, on Feb 3 3:03 PM. In Humor, Satire, Politics
• The Great Senator at the Confirmation Hearings

  Fellow Senators, I love this corrupt nation.
  When I look upon the names sent for comfirmation

  36 lines, 16 comments, on Feb 1 5:42 PM. In Humour, Satire, Politics, Thoughts
• Note to Self

  7 lines, 16 comments, on Jan 31 11:29 AM. In Humor, Dark
• Chemical Romance

  25 lines, 12 comments, on Jan 31 10:47 AM. In Adult, Humor, Romance
• Effects of Muse Abuse

  I’m sick of being overworked and underpaid.
  Looking back, I cannot believe how long I’ve stayed

  21 lines, 29 comments, on Jan 25 8:25 AM. In Thoughts, Muse, Humor
• Why Scooby Doo Was Canceled (The Untold Story)

  The Vampire Clown was only a tall tale
  Dusted off and retold by those who’d curtail

  40 lines, 29 comments, on Jan 23 6:08 PM. In Humor, Parody, Weird
• Burning Goodbye

  No longer will you grace my proffered arm,
  Nor shall I be there to shield you from harm.

  14 lines, 17 comments, on Jan 19 6:36 PM. In Humor, Satire, Lost love
• The Great Senator Muses on President Obama

  Gentlemen, I do not understand the drama
  Surrounding the President-Elect, Obama.

  37 lines, 23 comments, on Jan 18 9:59 PM. In Humor, Satire, Politics, Envy
• Dialogue with a Sage

  Oh you who are so lofty and wise;
  I am far too ignorant and slow

  39 lines, 23 comments, on Jan 18 11:06 AM. In Humor, Satire, Sarcasm
• Me Too, Drew

  Oh my sweetest Drew,
  What you put me through.

  5 lines, 19 comments, on Jan 18 8:11 AM. In Humor, Hope
• The Great Senator Makes the News

  He arose and took his place at the podium,
  Cleared his throat to prepare for lofty idiom.

  26 lines, 16 comments, on Jan 5 10:08 PM. In Humor, Satire, Politics
• Fish Crow

  20 lines, 19 comments, on Jan 1 10:02 PM. In Adult, Humor, Nature
• Drooping Denims

  Dastardly delinquents are drinking in bars,
  Then drive downtown in their decrepit Dodge cars.

  16 lines, 29 comments, on Dec 31 1:30 PM 2008. In Society, Humor, Sarcasm, Thoughts, Teen issues
• Rumplestiltskin Speaks Out

  Finest beauty, discrete in dainty lace
  Brings a blessed smile to my grim face.

  16 lines, 11 comments, on Dec 30 2:25 PM 2008. In Humor, Lost love, Fantasy
• Walrus and the Otter

  'This burgundy tastes like water',
  Said the walrus to the otter

  5 lines, 19 comments, on Dec 27 11:37 PM 2008. In Weird, Humor
• Math and BillieJean

  One times one is one,
  See the poor little doggy run.

  28 lines, 8 comments, on Dec 27 9:41 PM 2008. In Humor, Math, Dogs
• Ambivalence As A Way Of Life (5)

  I arose this morning at about quarter to ten
  Thinking that I would cook myself a scrambled egg.

  24 lines, 19 comments, on Dec 20 11:19 AM 2008. In Weird, Humor, Male Cleanliness
• The Great Senator Explains His Success

  I am on an extraordinary streak,
  Accepting my seventh bribe in a week.

  20 lines, 17 comments, on Dec 16 5:55 PM 2008. In Humor, Politics, Satire
• The Great Senator on Water Conservation

  Ladies and Gentleman, I’ve come up with a plan
  That will save our nation as no other plan can.

  25 lines, 16 comments, on Dec 12 2:27 PM 2008. In Humor, Politics, Environment, Satire
• Beer, Dogs, and Peanut Butter Sandwiches

  39 lines, 20 comments, on Dec 6 5:13 PM 2008. In Humor, Food, Dogs, Drinking
• The Great Senator Welcomes New Lawmakers

  The Great Senator tottered to center stage.
  Transmutation was suddenly all the rage.

  22 lines, 20 comments, on Dec 1 9:16 AM 2008. In Humor, Satire, Politics
• Feline Fantasy

  Resplendent in his uniform of black and white
  The humble mouse chaser becomes a dashing knight.

  10 lines, 12 comments, on Nov 30 3:45 PM 2008. In Humor, Animals, Cats
• Bo Peep (Politcally Correct)

  Little Bo Peep lost her sheep and didn't know where to find them.
  She looked high and she looked low all through the town she did go.

  5 lines, 10 comments, on Nov 29 6:33 PM 2008. In Humor, Satire
• The Weiner Guard

  We all had signed on to guard the Weiner Mobile;
  For ten mangy stray pups, it was such a big deal.

  26 lines, 14 comments, on Nov 3 11:13 AM 2008. In Humor, Animals
• Searching for Mr. Tweeks

  It has been a difficult two weeks.
  She has been searching for Mr. Tweeks.

  5 lines, 38 comments, on Nov 2 12:23 PM 2008. In Humor, Limerick, Animals
• Booger Aerodynamics

  Late one summer night while the crickets sang
  As I pondered my girlfriend’s ceramics

  19 lines, 18 comments, on Oct 26 8:20 AM 2008. In Humor, Drugs, Weird, Society
• The Great Senator Responds

  As he was walking down Pennsylvania Avenue,
  The Great Senator smoothed his five hundred dollar hairdo;

  18 lines, 19 comments, on Oct 18 6:01 AM 2008. In Humor, Politics, Satire
• Mud Season

  Years ago, it was in the early spring,
  When the snow melts fast and the robins sing

  23 lines, 6 comments, on Oct 15 6:20 PM 2008. In Humor
• Stable Lust

  20 lines, 27 comments, on Oct 14 2:00 AM 2008. In Adult Humor
• Cherubic Vermin

  At first I depised this luxury vacation spot.
  I was quickly swarmed by these silly wing-ed boys;

  21 lines, 24 comments, on Oct 5 4:28 PM 2008. In Humor, Love, Satire
• The Great Senator's Advice on Taxes

  Do you think we really care about the poor
  When we debate taxes on the Senate floor?

  12 lines, 23 comments, on Sep 29 5:29 PM 2008. In Humor, Satire, Politics
• Dinner With The Wolf

  I am not really such a bad guy, you see.
  You've never heard what the three pigs did to me.

  13 lines, 14 comments, on Sep 27 5:26 PM 2008. In Fractured Fairy Tale, Fantasy, Humor
• The Great Senator Returns

  My fellow esteemed Americans,
  You may recall my last speech on jerricans.

  17 lines, 16 comments, on Sep 23 4:06 PM 2008. In Humor, Political Satire, Society
• Los Bandidos

  We three are from Los Bandidos;
  Tougher than the average gang.

  17 lines, 6 comments, on Sep 21 3:41 PM 2008. In Humor, Nature, Weird
• Discussion at the P.T.A.

  The two stood at their podiums poised for debate
  Their faces were contorted and clouded with hate

  13 lines, 22 comments, on Sep 19 10:07 AM 2008. In Humor
• Edward the Uncouth

  24 lines, 28 comments, on Sep 13 2:16 PM 2008. In Adult humor
• Incorrigible Kitten

  You guys will never believe what I have done.
  This is why Mom says I am my father’s son.

  10 lines, 8 comments, on Sep 10 8:45 AM 2008. In Humor
• Blank Sheet of Paper

  Okay. Dammit. Where's that lazy little muse?
  That sucker had better have a good excuse...

  17 lines, 32 comments, on Sep 9 10:13 PM 2008. In Humor, Thoughts
• Rant Interrupted

  Censorship of free speech has gotten off kilter
  We are now obligated to pass all words through

  39 lines, 29 comments, on Sep 9 8:32 PM 2008. In Thoughts, Humor, Laws
• Slumberland Resort

  Welcome to the exlusive Slumberland Resort!
  A grand place for overworked muses to cavort.

  18 lines, 25 comments, on Sep 5 7:42 AM 2008. In Humor, Lost Muses, Advertisement
• The Great Senator

  He slicked back his thick pompadour
  And rose regally to his feet

  60 lines, 27 comments, on Sep 4 7:24 PM 2008. In Nature, Humor, Sarcasm, Politics
• Synaptic Brain Lapse

  Of all the really stupid things I have done
  The idiocy described here is number one.

  49 lines, 48 comments, on Aug 26 11:22 AM 2008. In Personal, Pain, Idiocy, Humor
• Consumer Complaint Letter to Cupid

  My dear friend, Mister Cupid,
  

  14 lines, 15 comments, on Aug 24 4:40 PM 2008. In Humor, Love
• Ramblings of a Drunken Newt

  I stumbled upon a blossom
  Mumbling to her, "You’re awesome."

  9 lines, 23 comments, on Aug 23 6:18 PM 2008. In Weird, Humor, Lost love
• Honest Clay's Custom Casket Emporium

  Gather 'round all of you wannabe starlets,
  Casting couch actresses, and silicone harlots.

  20 lines, 18 comments, on Aug 11 10:12 PM 2008. In Humor, Death
• Little Jack Horner

  Little Jack Horner,
  From down on the corner

  22 lines, 32 comments, on Jul 29 10:04 PM 2008. In Dark, Humor, Death
• Indian Tourist Trap

  Spirit Eagle is my "Indian" name.
  Do you like it? Its part of my game.

  11 lines, 23 comments, on Jul 23 12:34 PM 2008. In Humor, Society, Sarcasm
• The Second Mouse

  This is the tragic story of poor Melvin Mouse.
  We once lived together in this very same house.

  15 lines, 28 comments, on Jun 28 12:26 PM 2008. In Nature, Humor, Death
• Advice on Aliens from George Carlin

  I have always been a believer in timeliness
  Being almost sacred, right next to godliness.

  39 lines, 19 comments, on Jun 23 7:33 PM 2008. In Weird, Dedication, Humor
• Red Tail Punks

  Rocky is crazy ice cool in blue,
  While I sport an mohawk hairdo.

  9 lines, 13 comments, on Jun 13 6:53 PM 2008. In Humor, Nature, Society
• The Quacker Shakedown

  I am Miss Kitty, fresh off the Sydney bus.
  There's no one around that I can trust.

  17 lines, 12 comments, on May 22 6:42 AM 2008. In Nature, Humor, Crime
• Rapunzel

  29 lines, 39 comments, on Apr 21 4:34 PM 2008. In Adult, Humor, Fantasy, Contest
• The Three Little Pigs - A Modern Epilogue

  At the defense table in District Court Number 3
  Anxiously, sat my two younger brother pigs and me.

  38 lines, 42 comments, on Apr 18 4:30 PM 2008. In Humor, Fantasy
• The Great Bikini Bullfight

  Welcome to the Great Bikini Bullfight! Brought to you LIVE, every Saturday night!

  6 lines, 17 comments, on Mar 30 9:05 AM 2008. In Humor, Weird, Society
• Squirrely Porn

  I was once a happy, carfree squirrel;
  Way back when I was a little girl.

  5 lines, 12 comments, on Mar 30 8:09 AM 2008. In Humor
• Letter to Roland

  Dear Roland, I write to you
  Hope you're enjoying the Florida sun.

  58 lines, 11 comments, on Feb 23 3:04 PM 2008. In Humor, Friendship, Weather
• Charlie vs Killer

  Hiya mate, the name is Charlie. My owner, Shaggy, loves his Harley.

  22 lines, 8 comments, on Feb 15 5:12 PM 2008. In Humor, Contest, Inspirational, Funny
• The Kiwi and the Weta

  Shovel gripped in sweaty hand, knuckles white with fear, The Kiwi stalked the Weta, stealthily drawing near.

  5 lines, 4 comments, on Feb 5 8:40 PM 2008. In Humor

• By me, right now

  Adding your comment:

by Wandering Woodchuck

List

Browse lists

Browse lists by category

Sign up for FREE

A free account is required to comment and participate. It's fast and free!

Already a member?

About Allpoetry

Please Support Allpoetry