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'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;122 lines, 20 comments, on Dec 15 1:56 PM 2007
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He did everything but throw his own poo.234 lines, 48 comments, on Oct 17 1:07 AM 2003. In Humor
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Her love reminds me of flowers.18 lines, 41 comments, on Nov 14 12:57 PM 2003. In Humor
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He's twice the man that he once was46 lines, 29 comments, on Mar 2 2:58 AM 2004. In Humor
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I've always loved to sit by the sea
and soak up the summer sun.74 lines, 16 comments, on Apr 1 3:47 PM 2004. In Humor
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Scene: A classroom on a faraway planet almost exactly like earth,303 lines, 24 comments, on Jun 14 1:13 AM 2004. In Humor
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Here lies poor, ol' Mark Rickerby.
His rhyming days are through.17 lines, 32 comments, on Jul 7 11:24 PM 2004. In Humor
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Mickey was the insult king of our block.
We all called him “Mickey the Mouth.”75 lines, 44 comments, on Aug 9 10:42 AM 2004. In Humor
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Forget Connery, Brosnan and Moore.
Just bring in Jerry Lewis!80 lines, 18 comments, on Aug 20 6:14 PM 2004. In Humor
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You know, life is one big joke
when you're a tiny, little dog.53 lines, 74 comments, on Sep 3 1:53 AM 2004. In Humor
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There once was a mean old Colonel8 lines, 29 comments, on Sep 17 7:13 PM 2004. In Humor
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My den looks like the set of Sanford and Son.
I know I should stop but it's just too much fun!80 lines, 20 comments, on Sep 21 1:01 AM 2004. In Humor
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I'm thinking about writing a book about bodybuilding but I don't know what to call it.27 lines, 15 comments, on Sep 28 11:21 PM 2004. In Humor
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I'm as patient as Job himself
and as sweet as Mr. Rogers.51 lines, 29 comments, on Oct 25 7:16 PM 2004. In Humor
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I know I probably shouldn't admit this54 lines, 38 comments, on Dec 5 4:28 PM 2004. In Humor
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I felt like she was Godzilla
and I was poor, little Tokyo!75 lines, 68 comments, on Dec 10 3:19 PM 2004. In Humor
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Sorry, but I won’t shorten my poetry
for people who suffer from A.D.D.35 lines, 45 comments, on Mar 5 3:25 PM 2005. In Humor
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I lead a sordid double life45 lines, 32 comments, on Jun 14 5:21 PM 2005. In Humor
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How AP saved the world from total destruction. (True story!)160 lines, 39 comments, on Oct 12 9:05 PM 2005. In Humor
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167 lines, 27 comments, on Oct 19 8:00 PM 2005. In Humor
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To all the people out there in AllPoetryland who have trouble losing gracefully.72 lines, 81 comments, on Oct 25 12:25 PM 2005. In Humor
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Maybe someday I’ll get the thanks I deserve.
At this point, I’ll accept just about anything.70 lines, 24 comments, on Nov 3 1:16 PM 2005. In Humor
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A poem for Pee Wee Herman.210 lines, 20 comments, on Nov 17 2:31 PM 2005. In Humor
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While talking with the Master one day,4 lines, 31 comments, on Dec 7 5:49 PM 2005. In Humor
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They say some features skip a generation
And I'm here to report that, sadly, it's true.22 lines, 25 comments, on Dec 20 5:43 PM 2005. In Humor
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I was eight years old and it was sweet summertime.
42 lines, 26 comments, on Jan 2 3:08 PM 2006. In Humor -
Question: How would the television show Kung Fu have been different if cell phones had been invented a few hundred years ago?143 lines, 12 comments, on Jan 2 5:30 PM 2006. In Humor
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Fortunately, I had my throwing stars on me at the time.185 lines, 18 comments, on Jan 23 1:40 PM 2006. In Humor
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Hey, before you go, could you sign my boob?204 lines, 32 comments, on Jan 25 7:26 PM 2006. In Society
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But it seems the cute little winged kid
Has one truly lousy sense of humor.32 lines, 50 comments, on Feb 14 4:08 PM 2006. In Humor
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Well, folks, here’s yet another example of out of control Capitalism.36 lines, 33 comments, on Mar 1 2:38 PM 2006. In Humor
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While surfing poems at ol’ AP one day,
I happened upon a most wonderful writer103 lines, 17 comments, on Mar 8 10:02 PM 2006. In Humor -
I guess we're not scary anymore, but back in the day,
We were the most horrifying monsters in all the land.101 lines, 47 comments, on Apr 12 5:18 PM 2006. In Humor
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She was the sweetest little cat you’ve ever seen
Till she got tired of the doggy treating her mean11 lines, 13 comments, on May 1 2:46 PM 2006. In Humor
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When I was about sixteen years old, I had a terrible case of acne. I was very despondent about it and constantly railed at God for cur17 lines, 13 comments, on May 5 5:48 PM 2006. In Humor
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People these days are very sensitive
To the feelings of the handicapped.53 lines, 17 comments, on May 5 7:39 PM 2006. In Humor
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68 lines, 41 comments, on Jun 6 4:46 PM 2006. In Adult humor
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Another incident of computer-induced mania struck today, an increasingly common phenomena which affects mainly inexperienced computer users24 lines, 2 comments, on Dec 19 3:44 PM 2007
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I was on my way to a party on Christmas Eve
When I saw a Benz in my mirror coming up fast.31 lines, 38 comments, on Dec 28 1:12 AM 2007
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I had always found it difficult to be truly devout
In a world full of thieves and murdering bandito's51 lines, 18 comments, on Mar 23 3:29 PM 2008
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If all this global warming stuff is true
And the end-times are hurtling our way;8 lines, 15 comments, on Mar 26 10:24 PM 2008
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The magazine ad read “Get a metal detector today!”
With a photo of big diamond rings in somebody’s hand.21 lines, 5 comments, on Apr 30 5:42 PM 2008
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One day, the good Lord was looking down on us all
And, as usual, wondering where He went wrong,36 lines, 17 comments, on May 28 2:09 PM 2008
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A man who worked very hard 12-16 hours a day six days a week, sometimes seven, returned home, picked up his guiter and walked to the backya29 lines, 15 comments, on Aug 30 7:26 PM 2008
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Yeah yeah, it's me, the Christmas tree.
What's that? Surprised to hear from me?26 lines, 39 comments, on Dec 11 3:52 AM 2008
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