List: Vulgar Displays Of Machismo

Straight up anti everything rants.
Time period: 1991 - now

• Timber!

  The poo to end all poos
  passed through me today.

  37 lines, 55 comments, on Dec 15 10:04 PM 2003. In Adult humor, Humor
• I Have No Problem With Short People Of Color Or Religion

  But you my friend are a professional asshole.
  A thoroughbred of incalculable irrationality.

  149 lines, 26 comments, on Dec 18 3:57 PM 2003. In Adult, Angst
• When my poems go platinum

  When my poems go platinum?
  I'll fetch myself a limo;

  60 lines, 28 comments, on Dec 24 3:02 AM 2003. In Humor
• Interview With Stephen King

  -- Steven, your new book "The Brand" Is absolutely
  brilliant! What the hell were you thinking?!

  88 lines, 8 comments, on Dec 24 9:53 PM 2003. In Other
• Killing Ben Afleck

  Closet case Boston blue blood
  You should shut your fucking pie hole.

  46 lines, 32 comments, on Dec 26 12:45 AM 2003. In Adult, Humor
• Lord of the Swines

  Pig-- But when you spoke to them were you luciferous?
  Jew-- Ah, no, but I was almost zatetic.

  89 lines, 18 comments, on Dec 26 2:20 AM 2003. In Humor
• Spade

  I am so jealous
  I stole your avocado

  32 lines, 68 comments, on Dec 27 3:28 PM 2003. In Spiritual
• Jackanapse & Smoke Buttons

  Why I spit?
  Well that's simple.

  40 lines, 13 comments, on Dec 28 3:35 PM 2003. In Contemporary
• Evel Knievel's last bananna split

  "Evel Knievel was my hero, and my proudest achievement
  was that I once had the nerve to ride my bike off a

  48 lines, 4 comments, on Dec 29 8:49 PM 2003. In Adult humor, Humor
• Horus8 & The Werewolves

  Yesterday, I was smoking
  Clitoris with Boris

  50 lines, 28 comments, on Dec 29 10:04 PM 2003. In Adult humor
• It's lonely at the top

  Yesterday, on a mountain, I saw a Ram -
  - chewing on a lowly clump of sod.

  27 lines, 45 comments, on Jan 1 8:14 PM 2004. In Humor
• Life-Styles Of The Ripe & Glamourless At Spring Break

  You are just begging for a tidal wave
  and an earthquake horchata

  50 lines, 22 comments, on Jan 2 4:13 PM 2004. In Adult
• Momma, don't let your pipe bombs grow up to be Jewish

  I have a bomb on a bus
  I have a rag on my head

  28 lines, 4 comments, on Jan 2 6:44 PM 2004. In Adult
• Zealots on Ziggurots in Zion

  This poem is about hatred, and elitism, but mostly about
  the struggle of the undereducated poor against the system

  57 lines, 7 comments, on Jan 2 8:05 PM 2004. In Adult
• Household Sex Agents (Limericks)

  There once was a man from Vancouver
  That got his chub stuck in a Hoover

  24 lines, 24 comments, on Jan 3 9:28 PM 2004. In Humor
• Before My Mother's Thighs (A free purse) by Spanish Devil

  Mother never knew true penetration
  She survived on tube tied fruition,

  54 lines, 28 comments, on Jan 4 5:44 PM 2004. In Adult humor
• Jared Leto & Apocalyptic poetry.

  When I grow up... I want to
  work for a corrupt and evil

  68 lines, 11 comments, on Jan 4 11:51 PM 2004. In Humor
• Heartbreaking Limmericks Of Swaggering Sativas

  Run Forest! Run...
  While huffing gas one day at the pump.

  95 lines, 14 comments, on Jan 5 11:26 PM 2004. In Adult humor
• The United Fates of Totally Grody

  Pass me thee unsalted cracker rag,
  and I shall Pop star you a wheelie.

  72 lines, 6 comments, on Jan 8 4:17 PM 2004. In Adult
• Haures

  When I'm alone
  I sure weep

  35 lines, 15 comments, on Jan 10 1:01 PM 2004. In Adult
• If you pimp me I'll stay Walter

  O Walter, if you pimp me I'll stay.
  So that I can describe, yet another,

  43 lines, 10 comments, on Jan 10 8:22 PM 2004. In Adult humor
• Billy Bytack forces his children to sell Jesus

  (This is in response to this guys 12 year old
  daughter arguing with me on an open writing

  31 lines, 14 comments, on Jan 13 12:35 PM 2004. In Adult humor
• The shirt I wore to dinner

  I made my shirt
  For dinner tonight

  33 lines, 12 comments, on Jan 15 12:28 AM 2004. In Adult
• Upon A Falling Bar Stool

  And how many times must I wish upon a falling bar stool?
  Wondering why...you've taken my drink away?

  70 lines, 13 comments, on Jan 17 7:27 PM 2004. In Adult humor
• Hi, My Name Is "Stop It, Don't Look At Me I'm Bi-Polar Damnit!"

  Alchohol & cocaine
  Still I'm moody?

  40 lines, 26 comments, on Jan 18 4:42 AM 2004. In Adult humor
• To the magazines that turned me down

  (99% of editors become editors
  because their writing deteriorates

  140 lines, 11 comments, on Jan 19 10:49 PM 2004. In Adult humor
• An early apology to the Hiltons

  I'm sorry, but one would think
  that with fifty gazillion dollars?

  33 lines, 19 comments, on Jan 20 10:52 PM 2004. In Adult humor
• What I think of your attempt at angst poetry

  Once the moon turned me into a hairy vagina...
  And I fucked the entired universe

  17 lines, 32 comments, on Jan 24 2:12 AM 2004. In Adult, Humor
• Sissy Faggot

  After I had cut off my left nipple
  and fed it to my poodle?

  39 lines, 48 comments, on Jan 26 12:40 AM 2004. In Adult, Society
• Under the bed wetter

  Under the Bed wetter (Lyre concerto) by Jon Y. Shite (Free verse ) by Shardik
  Standing on my bed staring at the coffee can

  39 lines, 21 comments, on Jan 26 11:18 PM 2004. In Other, Humor
• My Happy Warm Faith Poem

  I have a happy faith in you sir,
  but not so much in them.

  44 lines, 32 comments, on Jan 27 1:32 PM 2004. In Society
• Battling the Bloated Body of Christ

  "I don't want to..."
  "Eat it you little bugger!

  31 lines, 5 comments, on Jan 29 12:34 AM 2004. In Adult
• What If Jesus Comes Back...

  As a 500
  pound black lesbian bull dyke

  47 lines, 21 comments, on Jan 30 12:54 PM 2004. In Adult
• The Neckbrace of Evil

  11 lines, 6 comments, on Feb 7 3:45 PM 2004. In Humor
• The Motherfuckers and The Mystery of Life

  It was a grey gloomy day, and the presence of the
  sun was sadly missed by the Motherfuckers.

  91 lines, 16 comments, on Feb 20 4:05 PM 2004. In Adult
• Cutters Part II The Recut (Limerick Triplet)

  There once was a Cutter China
  that could make a slit so fina

  19 lines, 21 comments, on Feb 27 11:41 PM 2004. In Adult
• Horus8's Giant Throbbing Member (Lap Snorkeling)

  I am a hunter
  There's a trophy in my pants

  24 lines, 19 comments, on Mar 2 12:06 AM 2004. In Adult
• Interview with Horus8 for All-Writers Magazine by Trixie

  Trixie was recently hired by All-Writers as the Hot New
  Music Critic. This is her first interview for AP.

  232 lines, 42 comments, on Mar 10 10:17 AM 2004. In Adult, Other, Collaboration
• "Thanks For Sharing"

  What in the fuck does that mean?
  I'm going to write whether you give a fuck or not?

  29 lines, 38 comments, on Mar 11 10:24 PM 2004. In Adult
• EL Scorchero Farah Faucetto

  What I really want?
  The burning to go away.

  11 lines, 16 comments, on Mar 22 8:01 PM 2004. In Adult humor
• Polyester Mustache

  I got something tasty
  Let it swim tools

  64 lines, 25 comments, on Mar 29 8:56 PM 2004. In Adult
• A Sad Syrupless Waffle

  I shoot only to prove I've missed
  I still don't get it?

  61 lines, 17 comments, on Apr 8 4:01 PM 2004. In Humor
• Jesus Creased

  Jesus Fucking Creased!
  How dare I the Queen of drama

  40 lines, 16 comments, on Apr 9 7:27 PM 2004. In Adult
• I Fucked My Sister 2 (She's Pregnant!)

  I fucked my sister
  One sunny day

  87 lines, 33 comments, on Apr 19 9:19 PM 2004. In Adult humor
• Ban This

  5 lines, 19 comments, on Jun 1 3:11 PM 2004. In Adult
• Bowling For Turpentine

  I have the white Indian killer blues
  Niggers up in trees, and Elvis Presley Shoes

  52 lines, 46 comments, on Jun 16 3:59 AM 2004. In Adult
• The Cincinnatti Steamer (69-ing X-Files)

  Pale white hairless chest;
  Bears proud morning turd.

  2 lines, 6 comments, on Oct 27 8:55 PM 2004. In Humor
• Mutton

  I will glaze down your sides
  With butter and flared honey

  12 lines, 9 comments, on Nov 5 6:19 PM 2004. In Contemporary
• Heather Graham

  Get naked on my face
  Choke me with your scarf

  16 lines, 9 comments, on Nov 8 1:19 AM 2004. In Adult
• Sodomizing My Way Into Heaven

  I get off of work at a quarter till eight.
  After scoring some smack I procrastinate

  16 lines, 26 comments, on Nov 20 6:37 PM 2004. In Love
• Starfucks

  Somewhere in Guatemala, Colombia, Brazil etc...
  Poor uneducated indigenous people are being

  28 lines, 28 comments, on Dec 2 12:24 PM 2004. In Adult
• A Diet Vagina And Cold French Thighs

  Every ridiculous thing possible,
  And this website breaking down,

  61 lines, 30 comments, on Jan 9 3:45 PM 2005. In Adult
• Soapy Cadevor

  Check List:
  1. Condom

  22 lines, 16 comments, on Jan 14 3:41 PM 2005. In Dark
• Another Fetus Salad Bar Casualty

  It was just another pointless snow day
  My friends and I had just blown a lid

  49 lines, 13 comments, on Mar 6 7:04 PM 2005. In Contemporary
• You can only give a pair of bitch tits and a blown out ass away once...

  I used to like you
  And your new tattoo

  19 lines, 4 comments, on Mar 7 9:45 PM 2005. In Adult
• Pink Floyd, My Missing Underwear, And Apparently Another Dead Pope

  Fuck you, and the indigenous tribe of indians you road in on
  Melt the gold, frame a masterpiece, wipe out a culture

  28 lines, 16 comments, on Apr 2 5:39 AM 2005. In Contemporary
• Fuck You Tom, And Your Girlfriend

  Why does the world care
  Who you're shoving your Scientology shaft into?

  29 lines, 30 comments, on May 22 12:58 PM 2005. In Adult humor
• Sheer

  15 lines, 3 comments, on Dec 31 5:33 PM 2005. In Adult
• Preferential Parking

  I have a case of the
  'Please go back to that indigenous island you swam here from blues'

  48 lines, 5 comments, on Feb 20 7:15 PM 2006. In Adult

• By me, right now

  Adding your comment:

by horus8

List

Browse lists

Browse lists by category

Sign up for FREE

A free account is required to comment and participate. It's fast and free!

Already a member?

About Allpoetry

Please Support Allpoetry