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Perhaps when I reach 80 (if I do)
My memories will return to me anew....12 lines, 10 comments, on Nov 27 2:50 PM 2003. In Humor -
I want to write some music
Coz the notes are in my head27 lines, 8 comments, on Dec 7 3:52 PM 2003. In Adult humor -
So now my real problem starts and this I really mind.
The stuff that I had stored below I simply cannot find!34 lines, 11 comments, on Jan 8 12:59 AM 2004. In Humor -
And I would give the lot away
For a mug of good COFFEE!!!17 lines, 12 comments, on Jan 9 3:03 PM 2004. In Humor -
If I can't be your cyber-love,
I'll be your cyber-friend.41 lines, 6 comments, on Jan 10 11:50 AM 2004. In Humor -
Well, nothing beats the pleasure
Of a really fine cigar.35 lines, 9 comments, on Jan 10 4:14 PM 2004. In Humor -
Today it is my birthday. I'm seventy-two you see.
I'm just having my breakfast 'coz it's now eight-fiftythree.19 lines, 1 comment, on Jan 12 3:12 PM 2004. In Humor -
I am a happy married man but oh! If I were free
I'd use that ticket and I'd fly to live in jail with thee.13 lines, 5 comments, on Jan 12 3:36 PM 2004. In Humor -
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I hope you'll mark the envelope or email "DO NOT BEND"
And forget those bloody lawyers 'cause I trust YOU to the end!22 lines, 2 comments, on Jan 13 9:04 PM 2004. In Humor -
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I did two loads of washing
And hung it all to dry.23 lines, 9 comments, on Jan 16 8:21 PM 2004. In Humor -
'Coz I'll keep on loving favourites
And sending LOVE and HUGS! -
Ruptured my mind and broke she my heart did.
Let me, O Lord, now I've got it, get started! -
When I've done my three-year stretch
I should be right over the top! -
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What's good for goose is good for gander
And so I say F...U!!! -
Hopeless as a Poet
Unfortunately doesn't know it.14 lines, 7 comments, on Jan 23 1:22 PM 2004. In Humor -
Telling idiots with half a mind that you are quite a sage.
Even more, you are SOME POET, lass, as anyone can guage. -
So don' get yo' knickers in a twist, lass,
Don' let yo'sel' get really pissed, lass,..... -
If Samplette's words are (as I believe) true,
I now regret my ignorance of you. -
You were born to lots of money;
You don't have to work a job;47 lines, 9 comments, on Jan 26 6:12 AM 2004. In Humor -
Hope you haven't failed to notice, as you read,
The very subtly changing metres I've employed.... -
And when you're in full flight, I don't even come near.
Also - God only knows - but I love you, my dear! -
So adieu to recruitment! Adieu to the cell!
Adieu to my unluckygirl-friend as well! -
Now Robin 'ood w'rn't very well.
Bin sinkin' fast f'r days.87 lines, 18 comments, on Feb 8 11:52 PM 2004. In Humor -
I've started hating Saturdays 'coz ev'rybody's gone,
No IM's on my AP site.....I think I'm all alone.48 lines, 14 comments, on Mar 6 12:20 AM 2004. In Humor -
6 lines, 13 comments, on Mar 6 2:16 AM 2004. In Haiku
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I'm sat here at my computer
if you guys can just believe it -
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It's hard, at distance, to conduct
A timed cyber-romance. -
Until final oblivion helps me to pass
Through the pear-ly pink gates of a fat earthworm's arse. -
It's two weeks since I last had a smoke.
The longest durned weeks of my life.... -
Why repeat what's already stated?
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For a "fairy", I fear,
Is somone who is 'queer' -
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An' wot I've told yer, tho' legend, is dead true fer a starter.
RH, MM an' Merrie Men lived 'app'ly ever arter.40 lines, 13 comments, on May 11 2:18 AM 2004. In Humor -
'Coz without a healthy 'puter
Life's just not worth living - is it?27 lines, 7 comments, on May 12 3:42 PM 2004. In Humor -
His victims prostitutes all were
But everybody lived in fear. -
When I ever ask that question,
Like "How are you today?",9 lines, 6 comments, on May 17 4:02 AM 2004. In Humor -
The great composer LUDWIG BEETHOVEN
Put some sauerkraut in his great oven.7 lines, 9 comments, on May 18 3:21 PM 2004. In Humor -
Why are love-poems so often deadly serious?
Why are nearly all the love-ballads so sad? -
And I came to a conclusion which I'm sure will all astound.
Bloody stupid artist had the model posed the wrong way round!15 lines, 11 comments, on May 21 3:04 PM 2004. In Humor
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37 lines, 17 comments, on May 23 2:24 AM 2004. In Humor
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His talent glows across the miles.
The one and only "great".....HUGH WYLES.25 lines, 13 comments, on May 23 7:40 PM 2004. In Humor
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This is limerick-time and not haiku
Which need NOT imply that I don't like you.8 lines, 5 comments, on May 24 12:32 AM 2004. In Humor -
When sedated, how My Love snores!2 lines, 3 comments, on May 25 5:49 PM 2004. In Humor
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I enjoy putting my thoughts, dreams, ideas into the English language - especially making it rhyme.
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You can shove your fass word up your ass.
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Oh! Monstrous, spherical hemispheres!
Gift of the Aten, grazing the eye. -
Well, in death I will sure be remembered
As the guy who went right overboard. -
' cause I can't think of anything worse,
But hope you and your hubby have fun! -
You first choose your subject and then you should give it a go
Making sure all your accents fall right on strong syllables so23 lines, 11 comments, on Jul 5 10:50 PM 2004. In Humor, Contemporary -
I've just looked through your favourites' list
and I am quite amazed!! -
I hear a fowl tale often spoken
'bout a chicken who lives in Hoboken.15 lines, 16 comments, on Sep 17 11:03 PM 2004. In Humor -
for without that uncouth caveman
I guess I would not be here! -
She's for sure an extremely fine poet
Although only few readers may know it. -
Take the CHRIST out of Christmas at last.
Forget Joseph and Mary and all. -
Last year I clearly asked you
for a case of "Famous Grouse" -
Christmas is mainly for shopping
Presents each year more whopping26 lines, 15 comments, on Dec 19 1:03 AM 2004. In Humor
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7am when others are still abed and I am alone
awake and chatting with cyber-friends is best -
I do hope all my Favourites will stop and read this ballad
for each of you is mentioned here - a bit like a tossed salad!! -
All Hugh's faves please read this announcement.
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ALL HUGH's FAVOURITES PLEASE READ!!
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when you stop to read the tabloids' daily screed,
what else, old Boy, would you expect? -
Now, almost everybody’s nature has another side
which, even to our closest friends, we’re careful to conceal -
For kissing, just like painting, is a cultivated art
requiring mouth to mouth resuscitation, lips apart.25 lines, 19 comments, on Jul 14 5:15 AM 2005. In Humor
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It’s better, by this means, for me to say
to future son-in-law: “HAPPEE BIRTHDAY”. -
This year our paths are overgrown with moss;
concrete and brick are covered in bright green.20 lines, 11 comments, on Jul 27 2:58 AM 2005. In Humor
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To write a good limerick is tricky;
the result must be true limericky. -
No more feeling like a VIP with passage fully paid,
but a terrorist or trafficker who needs to be waylaid. -
On my licence there’s a photo which is, frankly, not like me,
being issued many years ago when I was young and spree. -
I have a birth Certificate that’s neither worn or torn
I keep it safe in case I have to prove that I was born. -
With Gentian Root and water, pure from fountains,
secret additives in MOXIE will move mountains! -
MOXIE isn’t just a simple laxative or diuretic;
they’re but two of MOXIE’s many properties. -
T'was the night before Christmas
an’, Boy! Wot a sight! -
T’was the night before Christmas and, down at the pub,
(which Santa prefers to the gentlemen’s club),77 lines, 12 comments, on Nov 24 2:27 PM 2005. In Adult humor
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“I’m Beaugus! I’m a wiley pooch as clever as they come.
I own Jane or Oneluckygirl and NEVER lick my bum. -
I am much distressed to hear that in the winter months this year
the “Dog and Frog” at night is closing down. -
Now, I hate having haircuts so,
I let it grow right down -
Boobs tend to come in different sizes
and often cause acute surprises -
“Keep your mind on where you’re at
and don’t forsake the tit for tat!” -
as one travels round the world and grapples with surprises
encountering a great variety of shapes and sizes..... -
We writers write down what we think
not minding if we cause a stink -
…..and so today, this interest thrives,
affecting most men’s daily lives. -
They say you cannot judge a book by the way its cover looks.
Well, boobs are much the same. It’s safer far to stick with books. -
therefore I'm glad that I am free to choose
who I admit into my home and castle. -
Well, what happened next you’ll find hard to believe
but when I looked out of my window at dawn,76 lines, 18 comments, on Sep 8 10:43 PM 2006. In Adult humor -
Oh! I think it would be real nice
To live in Ozzie paradise! -
On their behalf, I think it’s time I spoke:
“Why try to fix it when it isn’t broke?” -
So please accept, with deep respect for every one of you,
and gratitude by no means rude, much love and hugs from Hugh. -
“Things are not always what they seem”,
even in the best of choirs! -
At kindergarten I excelled
at play with plasticene. -
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I suppose yer’ve noticed that I wear me ‘fficial Judge’s Pin?
Well, I’m scroopyewlussly fair an' may the bestest boobies win! -
I am NEVER superstitious – don’t believe in all that rot - / all my faith is firmly rooted in God's Will.
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On Wednesdays I go to study peaches / who happen to frequent the topless beaches. / But only in the summertime each year / ‘coz wintertime,
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On Wednesdays I go to loo / some solitude to seek. / Because I've nothing else to do / I go there every week! / Hugh (R.)
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Newsflash! Urgent action needed to fight obesity, committee says.
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The haka is a challenge by a warrior to a foe;
its purpose to inspire alarm and dread
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Now come on all you kiwis! Rattle dags and listen up!
See how those bloody Springboks beat the Pumas in World Cup? -
I understand there are a few who have expressed a wish
to know the fate of Ima Q. since leaving Jellyfish.
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…after careful cogitation, Yem knew what he had to do
to rid himself of all that unwashed, smelly pirate crew. -
We left this stirring story where two topless women sought
by waving shirts, to draw attention from the Argonaut. -
Their faces I can still recall,
Their names I've quite forgotten. -
So Kevin’s scrapping all our poems? Well, I can only say
that hardly anybody reads my verses anyway. -
I call all TV listeners to unite!
Till incompetent producers get things right -
Green! Green! Green! Is the colour of my true love’s hair.
It matches with her emerald Irish eyes beyond compare. -
For five years marriage followed by divorce from Heather Mills,
McCartney had to fork out nearly 50 million bills… -
I hereby will explain to you the rogue Hubertus Hyde,
but first it is essential you should clearly understand -
Victorians considered rude Lefebvre’s women in the nude
and would not place the works on show of Cabanel or Bouguereau. -
I find Italian operatic names are quite confusing.
Perhaps the parents should be blamed for sloppy Latin choosing? -
I want you to meet this adorable cat,
the most beautiful cat in the world. -
When I was fourteen years of age and still quite fancy-free
I hoped I’d find a pretty girl to fall in love with me. -
It was crowded in the chapel yesterday
as friends and all the local neighbourhood gathered...
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It’s my birthday - I am 77 today
but there’s no celebration for this chappie. -
I must go down to the beach again, to the sun-swept sand and the sky,
And all I ask is a comely wench who’ll let me lay nearby, -
Though Joanne sometimes does, Carmel would never let me kiss her,
but,if either one stopped coming, I am sure I’d sorely miss her. -
‘Twas at sunset in Tahiti where I sat upon the beach
admiring these four girls who danced beyond the ocean’s reach
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the world’s half full of women who don’t always keep them in
and her knockers are a woman’s greatest glory. -
“Kitty Kat, Kitty Kat, where have you been?"
“I’ve been to the Castle to visit the Queen” -
Which planet was ruling the day I was born
that an unlucky star guides from evening to morn? -
Once I knew a geisha girl, her name was Cho Cho San.
Her mother was a geisha too. They both lived in Japan. -
I wish you could see me right now
‘coz I just had a haircut and trim -
I thort I better tell yer so’s ya’d know it
that both of me grandawtas is a poet. -
I have a tricky problem which I don’t know how to crack.
My Muse is on vacation and refuses to come back. -
I’ve come to an arrangement with my understanding Muse
that she will now return to me and stay, -
You’ll nearly always find an easy spot to park your cart at
that very entertaining place - your neighbourhood slave-market. -
I like women much better than men
and I’ll say this again and again -
I wasn’t sure what Pix exactly planned when she said “layers”
unless she meant those ‘easy’ girls who get laid such a lot -
To all the girls on ‘Bebo’ site who want to be my ‘friend’
and those on ‘Plaxo’, ‘Woo Me’ and ‘My Life’, -
The first known use of Chocolate, as some of you may know,
began in Mexico about 3000 years ago. -
At present I still have this awful ‘flu.
My Doctor says there’s nothing I can do -
The forecast said today’d be fine
around C28
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