Liatheddrfreak• Show poetry

I AM A CHRISTIAN!!! (Had to get that one out there)
In my spare time I like to:
1. Torture small animals with a hacksaw
2. Play with sharp objects
3. Translate documents into Swahili
4. Draw mustaches on people in my textbooks
5. Wonder if a cows utter(s) is one giant boob or a boob with huge nipples
6. Memorize anything that will annoy people if said repeatedly

About #1: I was j/k PETA.
About #6: One of which includes the following:

Oh, this is a story 'bout a guy named Al
and he lived in the sewer with his hamster pal.
But the sanitation workers really didn't approve,
So he packed up his accordion and had to move
To a city in Ohio where he lived in a tree
And he worked in a nasal decongestant factory
And he played on the company bowling team
And every single night he had a strange recurring dream
Where he was wearing lederhosen AND (yes, Carly, AND!) a vat of sour cream,
But that's really not important to the story.

Well the very next year he met a dental hygenist
With a sptula tatooed on her arm.
But he didn't keep in touch, and he lost her number,
Then he got himself a job on a tater tot farm.
And he spent his life savings on a split-level cave
Twenty miles below the surface of the earth,
And he really makes a mighty fine jelly bean and pickle sandwich,
For what it's worth.

Then, one day Al was in the forest, trying to get a tan,
When he heard the tortured screaming of a funny little man.
He was caught in a bear trap, and Al set him free.
And the guy that he rescued was grateful as could be.
And it turns out that he's a big shot producer on TV
So he gives Al a contract, and what do you know...
Now he's got his very own "Weird Al" Show!

I really do have that memorized... yet I can't seem to memorize anything important


Some good authors:
JENNY B. JONES! (WOOT WOOT!)
Melody Carlson
Bill Meyers (The Wally McDoogle Series)
Gail Carson Levine


If you have any other good books, tell me and I won't feed you to llamas

P.S. I don't read Harry Potter, I think global warming and evolution are insanity, and I LOVE DDR! Don't strangle me girls, but I think crushes are retarded, until you can actually marry... LEGALLY!