Lee-15• Show poetry

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T A B L E O F C O N T E N T S
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(O.o) "This is Mr. Bunny!

(>" <) Please put him on your profile to further him

/_|_\ on his quest for world domination!"


FRIENDS: FAKE OR REAL????

FAKE FRIENDS: try to make you do sumthing you don't want to
REAL FRIENDS: are the reason you don't have regrets
FAKE FRIENDS: call your parents Mr./Mrs.
REAL FRIENDS: call your parents DAD/MOM
FAKE FRIENDS: bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong
REAL FRIENDS: would sit next to you saying "Damn.... we Screwed up... but that s**t was fun!"
FAKE FRIENDS: never ask for food
REAL FRIENDS: are the reasons you never have food
FAKE FRIENDS: borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back
REAL FRIENDS: keep you stuff so long they forget it's yours
FAKE FRIENDS: know a few things about you
REAL FRIENDS: could write a book about you with direct quotes from you
FAKE FRIENDS: will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing
REAL FRIENDS: will kick the whole crowds a$$ that left you
FAKE FRIENDS: would knock on your front door
REAL FRIENDS: walk right in and say "I'M HOME!!"
FAKE FRIENDS: are for awhile
REAL FRIENDS: are for life
FAKE FRIENDS: will take your drink away when they think you've had enough
REAL FRIENDS:will look at you stumbling all over the place and say "Female Dog drink the rest of that you know we don't wate Crap
FAKE FRIENDS: will talk Crap to the person who talks Crap about you
REAL FRIENDS: will knock them out
FAKE FRIENDS: would ignore this
REAL FRIENDS: will send this to all their real friends and hope to get it back
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50 things to do at Walmart
1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.
2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
4. Start playing Calvin ball; see how many people you can get to join in.
5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.
6. Challenge other customers to deuls with tubes of gift wrap.
8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
9. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially down thin narrow aisles.
11. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volume up to 10!
13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrasment.
18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.
20. Put M&M's on layaway.
21. Move "Caution: Wet FLoor" signs to carpeted areas. 22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows form bed and bath.
25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying , "...I'm Batman. Come, Robin- -to the Batcave!"
26. TP as much of the store as possible.
29. When some one asks you if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"
30. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, "Red Rover!"
31. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hire employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"
32. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joe vs. the X-Men.
33. Take bets on the battle described above.
35. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.
36. Hold indoor shopping cart races.
40. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?"
46. When some one steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it wiithout saying a word.
47. Relax in the pation furniture until you get kicked out.
48. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream,"No,no! It's those voices again!"
49. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.
50. Drag a lounge chair over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.

-----///\\-----Please
----///-\\\----Put This
---|||---|||---On Your
---|||---|||---Page If
---|||---|||---You Know
----\\\-///----Someone
-----\\///-----Who Died
------///\-----From
-----///\\\----Cancer


See
deeply
into the
core of writers
so true to themselves
undaunted to make known
they bear their hearts openly
with bravery and hope for break
and willingly pen their darkest pains
pulling from the depth of madness within
knowing they make vulnerable their souls
to predators in search of swift feasts
made easy by open flesh wounds
bitter smell of truthfulness
a trusting writer’s curse
doesn’t have to be
but the writing
so defines
poets
see?



*A girl and guy were speeding, on a motorcycle, over 90 mph on the road..
Girl: Slow down. I’m scared.
Guy: No, this is fun.
Girl: No, it’s not. Please, it’s too scary!
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl: Fine, I love you. Slow down!
Guy: Now give me a BIG hug.
*Girl hugs him*
Guy: Can you take my helmet off & put it on yourself? It’s bugging me.
(In the paper the next day)
A motorcycle crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it, but only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized that his breaks broke, but he didn’t want to let the girl know. Instead, he had her say she loved him & felt her hug one last time, then had her wear his helmet so that she would live even though it meant that he would die.



THINGS TO DO IN AN ELEVATOR
1) When there’s only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn’t you.
2) Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
3) Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.
4) Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor your on.
5) Hold the doors open and say your waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close, and say, “Hi Chinel. How’s your day been?”
6) Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, “That’s mine!”
7) Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator while saying work it girl! And telling them to pose.
8)Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an apointment
9) Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.
10) Leave a box in the cornerwith a wind up clock in it, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking.
11) Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
12) Ask, “Did you feel that?”
13) Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
14) When the doors close, announce to the others, “It’s okay, don’t panic, they open again!”
15) Swat at flies that don’t exist.
16) Tell people that you can see their aura.
17) Call out, “Group Hug!” and then enforce it.
18) Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, “Shut up, all of you, just shut up!”
19) Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, “Got enough air in there?”
20) Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off
21) Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, “Your one of THEM!” and back away slowly.
22) Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers
23) Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.
24) Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
25) Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, “I have new socks on”.
26) Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, “This is MY personal space”


__________*/.)_______
_________*/•|________
________*/• \________
_______*(•_ )________
_______ .|¯|_________
_______ .|•|_________
_______ .|•|_________ music
_______ .|•|_________ is
_______ .|•|_________ my
_____,__.|•|_________ LIFE!!
____/#|_.|•|__/\_____
___(##(_,|•|,_)))____
___\###/ |•|/&&/_____
____\##)&___&&(______
_____)#/&&___&&\_____
____/#|&&&___.&\\____
___(##\__&&&_'._)|___
____\ ######## //____
_____"+,_____,+"_____
~~~~~~~


How I will die

Burn 100%

Suicide 92%

Old Age 75%

stabbed 67%

Disappearence 67%

Suffocation 67%

disease 67%

Bitten 50%

Accident 50%

Poison 50%

Starvation 32%

Drown 25%

80% of Americans say "I LOVE YOU".

20% actually mean it.

If you honestly are in the 20%, paste this into your profile