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I was harmlessly commenting on a link someone put up on facebook about how constant acess to communication is actually causing depression in teenage girls. The study was done with a group of fourteen year old girls. I commented that fourteen year olds shouldn't even have their own cell phones. I said that teens don't
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Today has been...trying to say the least...annoying kind of. I decided to be a little less silent about my asexuality. And this guy was making comments about how he and I make love, jokingly I guess. And how he wants us to make love. So I told him it was never going to happen. Then, he told me that we would get marri
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I have somehow managed to get a C in precal...which means I am passing. I have to maintain this grade in order to pass the class. I have a huge test tomorrow, which I definitely need to be studying for... 1
I am trying to avoid all of the distractions thrown at me...boys, family issues, boys, and my own hobbies.
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I've been thinking about beauty a lot recently. 1
I guess the thought process all began when I went to visit one of my mom's old friends. She hadn't seen me in a long time and when she did, she bluntly said, "You're pretty." And I said, "Thank you." And I couldn't figure out why I had said that. It isn't like I
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I haven't had the time to write much on here, which is sad because this journal is totally theraputic. 1
Let see...where should I start? 2
I've sort of redeveloped an old crush, but I don't understand my feelings or attractions at all. I can just kind of ignore him and go on with my life. 3
Senior year
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I am really tired. I stayed up too late last night studying. I need to take a nap. But I'm not really supposed to take naps because my doctor says it will screw up my sleep schedule...and keeping a sleep schedule is really important to try to fight fatigue. Well, sleep schedules don't stop or slow the fatigue at all.
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1-Spanish-Here, I am safe. A class with a happy teacher, smiling and animated. We aren't ourselves here. We have foreign names like Maria and Juan. I cease to be Hannah and I can be Marisol. It means "sunny sea." When I only really ever feel like a stormy one. Friends are here. It is familiar. My fourth year i
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Being back at school has really reminded me how much my generation is...awful. This doesn't mean everyone...just quite a few people... 1
Nearly everyone is sex obsessed. Even "good students" are cheating. People you wouldn't even imagine would drink, do. There is a serious lack of work ethic. So many people actua
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Right now I would rather stay at school than deal with the crap going on here.
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Normally, I write these kinds of things in a paper journal, but I'm at the computer at the moment. Plus, I can type much faster than I can write. 1
I don't feel like myself. I think it's because I've been at home too long. Of course, I hardly know who I am anymore. I feel like I've lost myself. I don't know. Sig
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A major storm destroyed my internet connection for a few days. It was awful. It just proved to me how totally addicted I am to the internet. All well. 1
I have to go to freshmen orientation at my high school in a few minutes. Not because I'm a freshmen, but because I'm a "freshmen mentor." It sounds a lot...more
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Summer is almost over. I still need to buy EVERYTHING I need for school...including clothes and supplies. Sigh. 1
And my arthritis is out of remission. It was a nice month or so without much bone pain though. 2
I also haven't read Tuck Everlasting yet this summer. I read it every single summer. I usually w
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At the beginning of this dream, I am at the church I used to go to in Corydon. I weave in and out of rows of chairs and pews full of people. I see a man hurting a six year old. He is holding her in the air and choking her. I kick the man. And he leaves. Then, I talk to my aunt and grandma. 1
The dream shifts. I
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I still totally want a violin. It's been over a year since I've realized I really want one. But first I have to buy a bunch of clothes for school. There are also some CD's coming out soon that I plan to buy. I also want to buy a new MP3 player since the screen on mine screws up a lot. I think I'll buy the violin befo
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People call my house a lot asking for my mom, who is usually not home. When I answer the phone, people tend to either say "Josie?" (my mom's name) or just start in on some story because they think I'm my mom. Then, when I tell them that I am not, in fact, my mother, they start guessing which one of "the girls" it is.
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Work really takes a lot out of me. Sigh. Today at work, some older woman (a customer) told me I have cut dimples. I find that kind of funny. I have a dimple in my chin and half dimples in my cheeks. They don't go all the way in. It's weird...it's like I'm totally in between. My older sister has very pronounced dimple
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Sigh. My mom is driving me absolutely insane today. Today is one of my rare days off and she has me burning DVD's for her of her dead sister. Which I would've been fine doing if she had asked me earlier in the summer. She is having me burn 5. So if she is burning one for each of her sisters (4) she should only need 4
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Last night I had a very odd dream. I've been remembering my dreams lately, which is good because I love to remember my dreams. The dream I had last night was very strange. It was like a fuse of multiple anime, especially the mecha anime RahXephon and Neon Genesis Evangelion. 1
I like to post my dreams on my AP jo
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Today is my second day at Arby's. I shall be working 6.5 hours. Oh the joy. It's not that I hate work, it's just that I'm not used to it yet. I'm not used to all of the older people just assuming that I know their orders, and I'm not used to doing pretty much everything wrong, and I'm not used to not knowing how to d
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Every now and then I draw again. I used to draw all the time, but I lost interest and I stopped. Anyways, I don't really have anyone else to share my "art" with, so I might as well post the pictures on here. Lol. I hide my pictures from my family for some reason. 1
Anyways, the first one is just a side profile. I
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Tomorrow is my first official day of work. I have to be there at 6...a.m. So that puts me getting up somewhere around 4. And yes, it really does take me 2 hours to get ready sometimes. That and I like to have extra time just in case because I WILL not be late. 1
Because of work there are a couple of things that
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So here I am, feeling utterly sorry for myself, when I had an epiphany! It's called, I need to get through this one on my own. Whatever underlying thing that is bugging me, I'm sure it's trivial and really doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. 1
Sure, I hurt. I don't know why. But I am in a lot of emotio
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What's wrong with me? I should be happy. I have a home. I have a family. Both parents. I have enough food. I can go to school. I have a job. I have a car. Why am I not happy? 1
I used to tell myself that I don't need people. But I know that I do. I need people to help me feel like myself. People that understand
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Today I am feeling awful...actually it hasn't just been today. It's been lately. I just keep noticing all of my horrible inadequacies. Like that I know I'll never be the prettiest girl in the room. So I overcompensate by trying to be the smartest girl in the room. But all that does is make me seem cold and unemotiona
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Ever since I was diagnosed with essential tremor, I've been trying to find out what the condition will be like in the future. I have arthritis and fibromyalgia, but I've had that since I was 12. I'm used to it. I know the bone and joint damage of arthritis might sound scarier...or the pain and stiffness and imobility
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My parents went out of town. My older sister invited one of her friends over to spend the night. We had some sparklers and we played with them once it got dark. Then, we decided that we needed bigger fireworks. So we went to the store but the fireworks sucked. All they did was shoot "showers of sparks" which is very
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I am totally, completely obsessed with Imogen Heap. She is a lovely British artist. There is something about her music and her utter dedication to it. She is not only a singer. She is an ARTIST. She can add all kinds of electronic effects to the music, but there is still something very raw about it. She is definitely
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So I'm sitting here, watching my tremor and reading the announcements on the-n.com, when a come across a site recommendation for operationbeautiful.com. It's a site that encourages placing random post-its on magazines, mirrors, scales, and ads in public places saying things like "you are perfect the way you are" and
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I have a lot of scars, both emotional and physical. There is the mushroom shaped scar on my left knee from when Jimmy Slusher pushed me down on the playground in first grade. There is the huge scar on my right ankle from a third degree burn I got playing flashlight tag at a cook out. The skin is white, wrinkled and n
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I am now employed at my local Arby's. I went through orientation today and I start work sometime next week. So much information was thrown at me during orientation, but I did actually manage to absorb some of it. 1
When someone walks into Arby's the person working front line always says, "Hi, welcome to Arby's."
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My SAT scores came in today. I'm not terribly happy with my math score. I'll have to take it again. Sigh. I got 500 on the math, 660 on the reading, and 660 on the writing. Usually, schools only care about the reading and math parts though. In total, my SAT score is 1820 out of 2400. But my composite math and reading
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I haven't been writing as much lately. I think it's because I've been spending a lot of time looking into colleges and scholarships. Since before I go to college I will need a laptop and a professional grade digital/film camera with a zoom lense (which can cost up to $2000 dollars) I've been trying to figure out h
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Since next year at this time I will be getting ready to go to college, I have decided to start looking for scholarships. I've found a few essay scholarship competitions I plan on entering, but it's unusually difficult to find scholarships. I know my parents and I will fill of a FAFSA form for grants and aid, but I al
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Yet another story that didn't make it to press. 1
The SHS Cub review team headed to Asian Cuisine in Salem. The restaurant serves authetic and delicious Chinese, Japanese, and Thai cuisine.
Asian Cuisine plays pleasant relaxing music that really adds to the overall atmosphere and dining experience. Ther
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Because this story (along with the other 5 stories that I wrote) got cut from the school newspaper because the guy who was laying out the page decided that none of my stories deserved to go on the page and ALL of his stories did I decided to post all of the cut stories on here. Maybe someone at least will read them.
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Yesterday I ventured to the library with my younger sister. I was suprised to see there were some new Tamora Pierce books in the young adult sections. I grabbed some fiction books and then my sister and I headed to the How-to section to fulfill the reading program requirement set forth by my dad. 1
We were amaz
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Once again, this isn't a whole lot like a column. I think I just need this space to vent for now. Sometimes it'll be a place for column-like material. 1
I'm feeling pretty good today. I think my arthritis is in remission for now. Which is always good news! 2
I think I'm going to go to the library today. I lo
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Well, this isn't going to be like a column...even though I did say this journal would end up being more like one. Oops. Lol. 1
I guess today has been a good day for introspection. I'm feeling pretty good today. I've been listening to music, and I've been letting the music lead me in my thoughts. Mainly Everything
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I've decided that I want my journal on here to be more like a column and less like a space to rant. Of course, I can't promise I'll never rant on here again. 1
I just think I need to work on getting one idea across at a time. It's good practice for newspaper. Plus, I plan on interning at the local newspaper whe
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In the past week at least 2 people have told other people that I am a depressed person. Which is just great. Of course, both of the people that say that don't really mean anything to me. One was this guy that goes to my church. He told my friend that I depress everyone else. My mom's friend told her that I was a very
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