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This is a rather long ramble, but as I've never journaled about this before there's a lot of backstory involved. 1 2 I suppose I should be grateful for the amazing friends I have. And I am, don't get me wrong. I'm beyond thankful that they'll gladly take a bullet for me, fight on my behaby Avalanche.Echo on Sep 20 2:10 AM, In Abuse, Friendship, Spur of the moment. 800 words. → 1 comment, Add one?
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So THAT'S why the compliments sounded like empty words. 1 =.= Isn't it just lovely when you find out someone's dating you... because he's "in love" with your best friend? 2 I CAN'T believe I relapsed over what such a bastard thought of me.
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My, ahem, "significant other" (I despise the word "boyfriend") and I were talking online, complimenting each other, being all cute and lovey-dovey and cheesey. Then he mentioned something about how he doesn't like anorexic-skinny--points in my favor for being thin but not too thin. I said that that was probably the o
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I don't need a guy, or a best friend, or a therapist (well, the last one's debatable). And I'm grateful for all the shoulders I've been given to cry on through the Internet... but sometimes that isn't enough. 1 I hate falling to pieces, especially when there's nobody there to help me put them back together. I reby Avalanche.Echo on Aug 4 2:04 AM, In Depression, Life, Spur of the moment, Thoughts. 200 words. → 2 comments, Add one?
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SUPPOSEDLY if you've seen over 85 films, you have no life. Mark the ones you've seen. There are 239 films on this list. Copy this list, go to your own alljournal account, paste this as a journal. Then, put x's next to the films you've seen, add them up, change the title adding your number, and click submit at the botby Avalanche.Echo on Aug 4 1:33 AM, 1,300 words. → Make first comment?
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Bad things happen on Tuesdays. If something monumentally horrible happens in my life, it's probably a Tuesday. 1 This time, it was a doctor visit. 2 Let's flash back to almost two years ago--also on a Tuesday. It's exactly one week after my (Tuesday) suicide attempt, and the shrink ordered me to get a checku
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I've been trying to recover from stupid-faced bulimia (yes, I DO have the maturity level of a kindergartener, and yes, I DID say stupid-faced). 1 Six and a half weeks. 2 Sometimes they were miserable; other times I was restricting and they were fine... if not still hard. 3 I'd almost forgotten just how shby Avalanche.Echo on Jun 19 10:25 PM, In Bulimia, Eating disorder, Personal, Spur of the moment, Thoughts. 200 words. → 2 comments, Add one?
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One of these days, I WILL get over my bulimia. I have to. My sister was having her 22nd birthday party (which consisted of just us and our 2 other sisters). We were dancing around, singing stupid songs. I didn't even have more than a tiny piece of the cake. And I purged. Worse than that, I cut. I haven't doneby Avalanche.Echo on May 4 11:13 PM, In Bulimia, Depressed, My life, Spur of the moment, Teen. 100 words. → 2 comments, Add one?
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Falling-apart, ramshackle place that the Big Bad Wolf could blow down with barely a huff-and-puff, if he had a mind to. In the middle of no-fucking-where. There's no place like home, there's no place like home, there's no place like-- Hell. There's plenty of places like home. I just want somewhere that's NOT homeby Avalanche.Echo on May 3 8:27 PM, 100 words. → Make first comment?
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Last night, mid-binge, I realized something. Bulimia hurts, gives me crappy teeth and dizzyness and paranoia. And made me gain weight. Why the hell should I stay with it? I think part of the reason that it's so hard for me to quit is that I'm an endorphine junkie--which is why I couldn't stop cutting till I becamby Avalanche.Echo on Apr 27 6:49 PM, In Bulimia, Mia, My life, Teenage thinking. 100 words. → 2 comments, Add one?
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Now, it's okay. It's just fine. I don't even like him like that, anymore. But still. Maybe I should backtrack... I told one of the few friends who didn't know that I was bulimic, because he asked (after I got kind of mad at a bulimia joke another friend told). I also told him that I hadn't purged in 9 days, which Iby Avalanche.Echo on Feb 21 10:33 PM, In Bulimia, Contemplative, Eating disorder, Friends, Journal, My life, Teen. 600 words. → Make first comment?
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You want to vent? Go ahead, I'm all ears. Breaking down? I've got two good shoulders you can cry on. Think you're fat? Sweetie, you're twice as skinny as I am, you're nowhere near fat, have a cookie.
... And all this with a smile on my face.
FUCK IT.
I'm so tired of pretending to be ha
by Avalanche.Echo on Feb 9 9:56 PM, In Bitter, Bulimia, Depression, Eating disorder, First person, My life. 600 words. → 5 comments, Add one? -
(Not that anyone's actually going to read this, but I need to stick it somewhere that's not in a notebook because that gives me writer's cramp, and this just gives me carpal tunnel )
It's not like I haven't lied to myself about this before. I'm going to stop, I'll never do it again, I'm gett
by Avalanche.Echo on Feb 4 7:10 PM, In Addiction, Angst, Bulimia, Eating disorder, My life, Non-fiction. 200 words. → Make first comment?
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