What is wrong with me

I loved this guy...his name is Jake. He is my best friend, he became my boyfriend, he became my fiance. He went to my enemy...and now he is back to my best friend. I dont understand it...i loved him so much...but i wanted to end it. I did end it, and it hurt him a lot. He turned on me...but that is a different story. I realize...i never loved Jake...well i did, but like a brother(we never got intimate, frankly...i never wanted to, something stopped me) It hurt to see him with someone else...not because i was jealous, but because he was like my brother and that girl was a slut. Its not the same with us because of my new bf, and his new gf...but we are still friends, and i go to him and i always will

NOW... Nick...my bf, he has had a crush on me since...well, when he first met me, which is another story. He makes me blush, he makes me smile, he makes me mad, he makes me squeal and i love it. He is slow and gentle with me...and he knows i am not completely comfortable in realationships. I love him...i know, wtf am i thinking...i say i love him now...but what if i dont, what if i am just being...me again...i dont know what to do. and to let you in on a secret...I AM SOOOOO SCARED...i dont want to be hurt again, and i am freaking out like all the time thinking will he leave me, will he hurt me...does he only want me for that one thing???!! im sorry, i am rambling, and i sound like an obssesed teen...but i am just worried...i dont want to be hurt again..and no Jake wasnt the one who hurt me... im scared...and i dont want to mess up, idk what to do...and i fear i will never know.

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• By me, right now

  Adding your comment:
• 
  SoundsOfSilence
  April 30
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  Jake is icky... and Nick is good. And out of the two, Nick is sooooooooooo better. And I am glad that you like him. And we have talked about it... and I think you do like him little sister. And if not...well, then, there is another guy. And for the record, he does not just want you for sex. He doesn't. He loves you, and wants you, because you are you. That is it...

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