Juxtaposed

I stood there staring at myself and he/it juxtaposed my jaw quivering in my face a clumsy dance begging my face flesh to let go, unsure of what to say or do. Blood kept running down his forehead racing the tears. "You don't even know!" he kept saying. An exclamation of unfathomable pain and liquor, a physical metaphor for a man and his permanent state of being. I opened my mouth hoping something poignant would come out when my jaw dropped for a squeak and those eyes looked for reason I started yelling "get over yourself!" My skull became the housing for busy, noisy machinery that drowned out all other sense of sound as I spit my tears out and left my eyes alone and clear to watch every little twist of emotion as this pillar of strength I looked up to became a trembling, frightened, angry child. A manifestation of the past repeating itself just as it was bloody and full of tears for the selfish actions of a child's god. "He is fucking dead! Move on! Your daughters need you, think of them." I remember thinking but not saying. I stared the demon, Guilt, in the face and I awoke to sorrow today.