It has been a year. A whole year. Since he left me. Since he failed to say goodbye. I guess when you are going away to war, goodbye is too final. Almost like signing you're death certificate.
I'll never forget what he said to me instead of goodbye. He told me we could have another chance at love when he got home. He promised with conditions.
Little did he know, I've loved him since day one. When we first met, something drew me towards him. Ever since, he's always in my mind. Through all the girlfriends he has had. Through all my attempts at boyfriends. Through the death and divorce. Through the move across country and the training. Then even across seas. I still loved him.
He'll be home soon. He is with someone else. My ex-best friend to be exact. It is not important why there is an ex in front of the words. All that is important is that my heart is breaking. Hate is growing. I'm losing him and he does not even remember his promise to me.
I no longer matter to him. My conclusion is that war and distance and time have changed him. While i still love him, he is blind to me, the constant support and shoulder to cry on. I'm the invisible friend, who appears at the times when needed most and is forgotten until another period of disappointment.
I'm losing him. I cannot fight for him. Cannot convince him. He cannot know, because I am a strong independent person. I do not need the strength of a man beside me, but yet I allow this heartbreak. Hopefully, this will be the end of this love. Hopefully, my heart has learned a lesson.
