I dont think there is anything I can say that I haven't already said at some point or another over the years, and well over my life Ive made so many bad mistakes and well ive paid most all of them off but what saved me the most was the fact that at some point I finally said fuck them all and I cut contacts with every one in my life and moved on because there was no way I was going to get free from my chains while every one else kept me down, and that had its prices also pretty much solitary confinement I moved and didn't know any one had a hard time finding a job dated this bitch who played me like a fool like so many of them do they make promises after promises and then seem to always let you down , the only thing that kept me from going insane during my depression years was the hope that eventually there would be some one out there that loved me like I would love them, an old man told me one time great things come to those who wait and a snake will always bite the fools that walk in, I never really understood what he meant till years down the road

every night I went to sleep wondering when will I finally be free the truth is we are never free bills have to paid kids have to be feed and you cant cook without gas or water we will work the rest of our lives so why is it we always think or expect that things will come to us without anything at all there is always a give and a take and there is always that bump in the road even in the good times no one ever looks at what they have they always look at what they want or what they think they need people have lived off of less , so what we dont have the nicest house who cares if we have a pool in the backyard and we really dont need that cigarette either

life takes work and if you always focus on the bad you will never see the good I have said it a million times to probably thousands of people over the years and they always say ,yeah you are right then three days later they are complaining there ipod doesn't work or hey I wish I had that new car if you know what needs to be done just fail to do it then you get fired from your job why should life or life's outlook be any different ?

it is the universes way of punishing you people and modern religions have lost this aspect some were along the way like many other things as well but the main fact is if you have spent the last 5 years in your own self made depression it is going to take work to dig yourself back out of that hole, go and give a little some one less fortunate then you are and laugh at the stupid little things that make you mad instead of dwelling on it all and you will see a difference , letting go of that past wont be easy but if you actually make an attempt at it you can accomplish it

Lucian"