The Dear God Letters 1

Dear God,

I just don't get it.  Any of it. In fact, I am not even entirely sure what "it" is. Surely I am not the only one with questions. Sometimes I think that we have been taught somehow that asking questions is a bad thing so we follow our belief systems blindly and they come up hollow because they are not really ours. A person's true belief comes from seeking. You can't seek if you don't have any questions.

Matthew 18:1-4 and 19:14 both make reference to becoming like little children and how the kingdom of Heaven belongs to them. I have no real clue what that means, but I do know that children ask questions. Lots of them. Some cases of baldness may be caused by nervous ticks of parents reeling from an overload of "Why-why-why".

So, why is it that I have grabbed onto a belief that tells me there is something wrong with asking questions of things concerning the absolute most important issue of my entire lifetime which is my relationship with my creator? It just does not make sense.

It sometimes seems that I am simply inundated with a sales pitch that is based around an idea that a perfect God is more concerned with whether or not we know his correct name than whether or not we actually know Him. Admittedly, I know that I can never truly know you. If I could fathom your enormity with my limited perception, then you wouldn't actually be big enough to be, well...God.

I suppose that I just want to be able to walk with you just like I am and see if I become more like you. If we are suppose to pick our worldly friends in a healthy manner because behavior tends to rub off on us, why shouldn't we treat our spiritual selves the same. If I spend a little more time hanging out with the Father, Son and Holy Spirit while being myself instead of pretending to be some pious, kneeling, chanter who says all the right prayers on the correct beads only two things could possibly happen.

a. I get struck down by a huge bolt of lighting
b. I actually grow into something useful

Either way, I have made some decisions. Being a decedent of Adam and Eve, I think I will learn a little from their mistakes. I wonder often what would have happened had Adam not hidden his nakedness from you when you came looking for you in the garden that day. Did he really think you didn't know he was naked? Again, I don't get it.

So, for me I will acknowledge that you already know I am naked and I will just be myself. Who else can I be really? What else can I actually offer you other than the person you made. I will never be perfect, though I would like to be. And regardless, I will continue to show up and ask questions. I will question everything put before me. I think you gave me that ability and inclination.

When we don't ask questions we are in danger of losing a real relationship with a real heavenly Father. So here I am. If you strike me down, I will still love you. If you walk with me, I will still love you. If I am right, I will still love you. If I am wrong like the world quite often tells me and doomed to outer darkness where there is weeping and gnashing of teeth, I will still love you.

I chose you even unto the gates of Hell. That is the best I can do because this world is just too noisy with all its judgement and better than thou's. I don't care what the world thinks, because ultimately you are the only opinion that counts.

 

Love,

Me

 

 

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