I'm Not Okay!
Every day for me is like a living Hell. Every breath I take feels like a knife to the heart. Faking this happy face everyday so my friends and family r happy. It feels like the razor blade slices through my arm everytime i say I'm ok but im not, those tears that fall burn my face when they roll down. I'm trapped inside my own mind of past memories and not living in the present, so maybe i should just stop the present from continuing, i seem to of lost my precious brat and one of my big sisters, seems as torchwood is more important. ( u playing that game today was fine, cause i told u to) Happiness does exist ik it, i feel it almost everyday but there is always pain somewhere in the back. When I talk to Jessica I feel, she makes me happy i see as i do have a purpose, at least she gives me the time of day, she tells me she loves me when i need it most, with out her i would be gone way before now(Damn I love u sis!!! I can't live without u, plz don't leave me
). when i talk to Ivy, some1 as amazing as her takes the time out of her day to talk to me when she deals with millions of others shit. I loved when me and Abby just used to talk, and I would hold her and we would call each other brat. now i don't have any1 to bring a whole trunk load of big red to
..I loved Lizzys stories when i would act like a 3 yr old and she would hold me telling me them. I love it when JT offers me hugs, or when i get a suprise visit from Dan.
but now, Abby is gone it seems, Lizzy is busy with her soaps, I'm fat, I'm ugly, I'm dumb, I'll never mount to anything in life, wasted space i am, Jt is moving, Dan is at military training, i want my parents to get along, i want to live but it ain;t going to happen. And I want to scream until I can't speak anymore that NO I'm not "OKAY." Because I would rather die a thousand deaths than have to live another minute in the utter agony that I live in now.
The background is the same as Abby's profile page, she always had a wolf in her name or a DP so just a way of remembering her
). when i talk to Ivy, some1 as amazing as her takes the time out of her day to talk to me when she deals with millions of others shit. I loved when me and Abby just used to talk, and I would hold her and we would call each other brat. now i don't have any1 to bring a whole trunk load of big red to..I loved Lizzys stories when i would act like a 3 yr old and she would hold me telling me them. I love it when JT offers me hugs, or when i get a suprise visit from Dan.but now, Abby is gone it seems, Lizzy is busy with her soaps, I'm fat, I'm ugly, I'm dumb, I'll never mount to anything in life, wasted space i am, Jt is moving, Dan is at military training, i want my parents to get along, i want to live but it ain;t going to happen. And I want to scream until I can't speak anymore that NO I'm not "OKAY." Because I would rather die a thousand deaths than have to live another minute in the utter agony that I live in now.
The background is the same as Abby's profile page, she always had a wolf in her name or a DP so just a way of remembering her