When you arrive on the unit as a staff member you sit in report. The nurse from the previous shift updates the the staff on the day of the 32 patients on the unit. As I walk in the report room I am greeted by a middle aged man. He has a bunch of papers in his hand. He smiles ans says "I get so nervous in here". I think maybe he's a resident (a doc). Who cares? So..I'm sitting there halfway through report and the nurse looks up and says "omg!who let him in?" She looks at the man. He's eating the crackers left on the table. We look at him and I bust out laughing! He made his way in undetected! He then decides we are being rude and says he rather see his patients then sit with us...Ok. Whatever. Making her way up tp the nurses station is Maggie. She thinks(she believes) that the government planted a foreign object in her body and is very paranoid. She whispers "Dr. Steve told me that he is suspicious of the mole under my breast"...uh huh. "how did he see that" I ask.."during my breast exam" she says. I get up to find "dr. steve" and he is doing Tai Chi down at the end of the male hallway. I walk up to ask him why he is giving exams to the patients when he put his index finger on my lips and says "shhhh, if you speak they will hear you and sector 7 will close and you will not get your donut" then..he flicks my hair off my shoulder and continues to be one with the universe. What do I do now? Did he really just do that? So I just turn around thinking what am I gonna do know? He says.."I sense your concern, I won't do that again" I'm thinking the breast issue..when he then says "sector 7 isn't going to close"..ok..clearly this is going to be a long shift. I write him a note detailing my concern, which he properly punctuates hands it back and says "i'll have you know I am not practicing in this hospital ever again" walks away toward his room. Then runs back to the nurses station, jumps over the counter, rips the charts off the rack and starts to run back to his room. Code 22 unit 1 code 22 unit 1..everyone comes running. they all run down the hall. I make my way down with my med nurse to find the entire staff that responded restraining a patient with Dr. Steve. Yes people.."Dr. Steve" pointed at his roommate and said he was being combative. and helped the staff restrain him. I look at them and say "THIS is the patient that the code was called for" pointing to the Doc. Needless to say the rest of the night wasn't as strange.
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I think you need a breast exam, Nurse Addiction...
lmmfao.... security breach in sector zero.
That is HILARIOUS!!!
I have known some odd characters in my life, and there's this one guy who used to live in my neighborhood that was totally
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He decided aliens were going to attack, and the only way to stop them would be to cover all the stop signs in the neighborhood with foil...
so he did. It made me happy. (he said that the stopsigns were in some mystical formation that, when reflected in the tin foil would repel the aliens)...no shit,lol. Anyway, me being in the line of work I was in, and him loving meth, I couldn't avoid him.
He had his house divided into four "quadrants". It was fillled with books about quantum physics and mechanics and philosophy, in various sized piles that sometimes reached to the ceiling. His door was nailed shut with plywood, and the missing front door was nailed to the living room window sill, which served as a ramp to his front door...(his living room window). I walk up to his house one day and he has a makeshift barrier of everything you can think of surrounding his property... I think "Oh No!..."
I walk in the door (window) and there's mike, with a noseguard made of tinfoil, a hat also made of tinfoil with an antenna sticking out of it and a little flag on the end. He has a paper towel roll in his hand and a huge piece of foil FILLED with meth (to smoke) and he says to me, deadass,: "there's been a disturbance in quadrant four, *****, and it's holy spirit time. I'm sorry, but you're going to have to leave."....
I held in my laughter until I left, barely, but wow! There are quite a few more weird stories about that guy... -
good gods! sometimes insanity can be soooo crafty!
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lol and for a good while love these writes as u know! your a talent on the pages and at your job, always wanting more !
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Sounds better than my...sleep;eat;read;sleep;walk;sleep day.
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I like this one---at least it wasn t dull. Take cate.
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Hmmmm...interesting days/nights you have...
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Some nights are so boring...When I have "one of these nights" I write about it lol
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