I'm inside a large Parking Garage, at the end of the garage is a large Black area, an area of nothingness... Just a large Black area, full of water, the depth is unknown.
I'm walking steadily towards the end of the garage, holding a cloth covered book in my hands. On the front, in flowing letters it reads "Sarah". I open the book, skimming through the contents, not stopping until I see a date that suprises me. "August 27th, 2008" I stop and look at the entry, " I don't feel like going to work today, I have this nagging feeling that it's not a good idea. I wouldn't go, but I did tell them that I'd be there. I'll write more later."
The shock that floods through me with this entry is overwhelming, and I look around, needing to tell someone about it. The only other person in the garage is my father, walking behind me, wearing the same Dark Blue shirt with one breast pocket that he always wears, denim jeans and his JB Hunt hat pressed low on his head.
I stumble falling backwards into the blackness, trying to keep the journal from getting wet. I scream, but no sound comes out, my father doesn't see me.
He must see me! If he doesn't, I'll drownd, and die! Then again, death is not scary, I know where I'm going. I'm going to Heaven. With this thought, the darkness fades, and a bright light consumes me, overwhelming me completely until I wake, gasping for air.
[Last night (Saturday night), before I went to bed, I put my phone on the charger, as I always do. When I went to do that, I hit the number nine on my phone, and apparently hit the Talk button as well. Sarah is number Nine on my speed dial. She was number Six, but I put Chris (Lowercase Prelude) there, and Matthew number Seven, and Dad number 8, making her number Nine, since I couldn't bear to take her off. When I looked down at my phone, I saw that it was calling her phone, and I thought to myself, "I can't call her, she's probably sleeping." Then I looked at the time on the clock and I thought, "No, she's not sleeping now, she's awake."
That's when I realized that she was gone, and I couldn't call her at all. It was like learning she was gone all over again. Shock coursed through me, and I couldn't breathe, it felt like the wind had been knocked out of me. I gasped, and shoved my phone on the charger, stumbling back to the couch where I was sleeping since my grandparent's were spending the night.
I sat on the couch, pulling up the covers, shaking and trembling, unable to speak. Unable to breathe, my heart racing, palpitations beginning, I pulled the covers over my head and tried desperately to block out the thoughts of her, the thoughts of the text I got from her sister, Bella, and the thoughts of the memorial.
I fell alseep quickly, but I continued to wake up every now and then, gasping for air, as if I wasn't breathing in my sleep. During the night sometime, I had the above dream.
When I woke in the morning, I felt like crying. When I got to Chris's church, I still felt like crying. During the service, we sang a lovely song, and during one part of the song, Trey, the music leader, was playing the Piano and told us, "Bow your heads, close your eyes, let me be God's voice to you, use this time to pray if you need to."
As soon as he started singing the verse, I started crying, trying not to let Chris know. I hate crying in front of people, and I stopped as quickly as I could. It didn't work though, as soon as we got to the chorus of the next song, I started crying again.
I would love dearly to be able to sleep tonight, but I don't think it's going to happen.
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