contents:
thrillseeking/living peacefully.
rant about american economy.
my economic situation.
socialism vs. capitalism.
man, i hate how long the journal previews are but i want people to be able to read this. it's important to me.
corny as it sounds, i keep thinking about the meaning of life. in spanish, i was taking a quiz to see if i am a "buscaemociones", or thrillseeker, and one of the questions was, roughly:
do you believe the meaning of life is, a ) to experience lots of things and have a good time or, b ) to live happily and peacefully.
i would throw myself under category a, but i have been extensively analyzing and scrutinizing other people for their choice to this question lately. because i think it says a lot about what you want out of life and what motivation you are going to have in making big decisions. i will get back to this, i promise...
the current state of the american economy/politics:
nobody really knows how bad it is. the media blows things out of proportion,the news is basically blaring "economy, bad, downturn, failures, bankruptcy, foreclosure, worse, worsest, recession" all fucking day long... 2 days ago i swear the unemployment rate was "the worst since 1993", and today it's "the worst in 25 years", which is 1984...?
and it just makes me wonder how much people are willing to give up for a sense of security and happiness. there's a lot of talk about socialism and major governmental changes that could be made in america and honestly i don't have a solid opinion on it.
but here's my situation:
my dad has been unemployed for 5 months now. my stepmom wasn't making enough money so quit her job and is back in school. my mom doesn't have a full-time job and makes $2000 a month or less. my house is going into foreclosure and i may have to move within the next few months. my mom has already had to move in with my grandma because she couldn't pay the rent. i have zero health insurance and several issues that i really need to see a doctor for. and i live in a suburb neighborhood where all my friends and neighbors seem to be getting along fine without the least impact from the economy.
so yea, i (we)'ve got it pretty shitty right now.
it makes me want to cry.
and so i try not to think about how i may have to change schools for senior year.
or how i may have to move in with my grandma while my dad moves to l.a.
or how my family might split up yet again because it'll be cheaper for my dad and stepmom to live separately; not like they get along anyways.
wouldn't it be better to have universal health care, since i don't have any?
wouldn't it be better that the government makes sure my house won't foreclose?
wouldn't it be better for us to be socialist?
maybe i'm supposed to feel that way. but i'm not sure if i do. bringing this back to the thrillseeking aspect-- frankly, i'm not sure if it's worth it to give up a functioning (incredibly flawed, but functioning) system of government for a socialist-capitalist combination government that is going to make life more complicated and tense for the country over all.... i don't know if i want every line to be like the DMV, or the motivation to excel and create my own success to fizzle away under the great face of equality. because i'm not really equal, i'm better, and i'd like to prove that some day.
i guess i'm just willing to tough it out through what's happening right now because i don't want my country to go to shit. but it seems that a lot of people want to live "happily and in peace" at whatever the price.
is it worth throwing away freedom and the ability to overachieve, to be happy and peaceful?
i know this is long, and i doubt anyone but skyler will read it, but if you do, let me know what you think....
thank you
Add your comment
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
-
reading this you have no idea how i can relate. my mom has been unemployed and her checks ran out this week. i have been unemployed for the past 4 months and dont qualify for unemployment.. i might be getting another job this week i hope.. but anyway, i went from having my own place to living in my 93 year old grandmas studio apt (which is govt housing so its illegal shhhhh) with her and my mom. i sleep on a reclining chair. it is not the fanciest time in my life but i am happy. i am happy because i learned recently that i need to be grateful for what i DO have instead of sad about what i DONT. it sounds hard but having this attitude is as easy as making a list. it is the small things that matter, i know not everyone can be on the same page, but as long as you;re on a page in the book of your life that you can be grateful for having penned then you will survive this depression no matter what. my attitude is what will determine where i go and what i do and how succesful i am, not any abstract notions of social order.
-
-
wow, thank you for the great insight! that really means a lot
-
-
i dont know how to make a huggy face hehe. -
-
it's * hug * without the spaces
-
-
here's a big one
-
-
-
-
-
Fortunately, I'm in a stable environment and don't have to worry about this, but it's heartbreaking to find out that some of your friends had to move somehwer else, because their house got foreclosed. It's tough when to see that - because I couldn't imagine having to switch schools and start all over. (And in your case, senior year. That is going to suck.)
I have to get off the computer right now, but I want to comment more.
You're brilliant and you will get past this. You're smart, beautiful, and have ambition. I have a lot of faith in you. You're awesome.
-
i'll be back
-
oh no. you said something about politics. i cannot resist throwing my opinion. ahhhhh. lol
socialism has been demonized in america. everyone hears the horror stories about having to wait for three weeks to get treatment for something that kills you in two. socialized medical care has one major advantage over a capitalist model: people have more incentive to give a fuck. it may not make sense at first. people just assume market competition equals highest quality results. but too often, pharmaceutical companies are in a race to the bottom, providing the lowest livable care the most efficiently. socialized medical care is all about patient care since theres really no other incentive. all of the focus on efficiency of pushing patients out and costs of medicine down goes out the window, and though its more methodical, the pragmatism serves the patient rather than the patient serving the system.
(im actually not at all in favor because i feel like socialism stifles creativity and often times creative solutions come when more pressures are applied. but im a heartless bastard. and im planning on applying for canadian double citizenship. lol)
as for the economic situation, im fucking pissed about all of it. first, im not a big fan of the colossal size of our government and all of the money they're spending, but if they're going to spend it all, id like them to be honest with me when they make the proposal. the stimulus was supposed to be focused on infrastructure and tax cuts, two things i have no problem with. those tax cuts... amount to like 60 bucks a month for a year or so. and that spending on infrastructure was only a tenth of the spending... and spending on actual infrastructure amounts to a cool 30 million dollars out of almost a trillion. all the rest under infrastructure went toward modernizing government buildings. the rest of the money? oh its just being funneled into projects that show no sign of actually helping the economy in the short term. its all going toward a medicare system that everyone on the hill agrees needs to be retooled before its overfunded. fail. furthermore, all of this money isnt even ours. its borrowed. its fucking borrowed! why would you take out bigger loans when the world economy is going to shit? its selfish and narrow-minded and UGH!
anywho. im going to go calm myself down because im not making much sense. ill pray for you. things will turn around. i know they will. -
-
i definitely thought this was esha because of the unidentifiable name and i was wondering how esha knew so much about the american economy and why she would call herself a heartless bastard, and then i realized it was not esha at all, just matt-in-disguise!
thank you
-
-
i totally didnt know i commented while logged into this account. LOL
-
-
-
I read this and it makes me scared, it makes me want to just close my eyes and pretend none of this is happening. I want you to be happy. I just want you to be able to have somewhere to sleep each night. I dont want you to move, but i'll support anything you want to do or help you with anything you have to do. I'll fight. And i know you will to.
Hopefully things will get better.
I love you.
-Skyler
Adding your comment:
1 - 11 of 11
