Today I wrote a letter to someone I lost contact with ten years ago.
and the fear smack, smacked
fingers from the mailbox
when the envelope is inch, inches
from being sent as the voice warns
I’ll look a fool, but my gut, guts
rumble insistently with truth
much big-drum louder
than the ever-present fear;
that this is a thing I must do,
it is not a whim,
it will not let me sleep
It feels right with the belly
that letter will be mailed
despite my eternal anxiety
merely on the wisp of a chance
it will make someone’s day
We all think about the people in our past that we have lost contact with. School mates, old boyfriends/husbands, co-workers, neighbors and friends. Whether we parted on good terms, bad terms or indifference one cannot help but wonder how they are, what they are doing and ‘does so-and-so ever think about me?’
Then I imagine how cool it would be if, right out of the wild blue crazy, I heard from one of those people to say hello, apologize or even to re-connect. I will not lie; it would make my day!
The other big thing I have been thinking about is why some people have hurt me or even why they disappeared. There are many questions that are never answered in this life and it would warm my heart to have something randomly explained. Such as an answer to why someone stopped calling and coming around or why didn‘t that guy try harder to keep me? I mean honesty even if it hurts because it’s still an answer, an answer that might open my eyes and help me in some way. To me it would be a random kindness thrown out for me to catch.
Last night I watched some old home movies and my why question popped up again. Most of those people on that twenty-year-old tape I’ve lost contact with. A few seemed to shine and brought tears to my eyes. One woman in particular deserved an explanation from me and hence the letter has been writ without an expectation of anything in return. That is the beauty of it and if I do hear from her it will be sunshine.
So my lady open your arms for I have thrown a random kindness your way.
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Comments
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Random acts of kindness are so nice.
Sometimes I wish I would hear from someone I used to know, tell me how they are now, what's happened in the time we've been apart, whether they would like to rekindle a long lost friendship. The main person I'd like to hear from is my very first crush, Robert Sampson. He was my friend back in 6th grade, & we lost touch when I moved away. I'd love to hear from him again, though I doubt I'd date him now. He was really nice to me & had a crush on me, too, back then. I often wonder how he's doing, how he's turned out. Is he still a Jehovah's Witness? I may never know. I just hope I see him in Heaven one day, so we can catch up on everything.
Thanks for sharing your Random Kindness with us! It's nice to know others out there do things like that.
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It's true Brenda, as you so poetically and poignantly portray, over time we lose touch with some or they with us and sometimes we are reminded of them and why or wonder why.
You make me think, if each of us followed your example, in time we would all catch up with each other again, oh if only there were time!
I hope you hear from her but if not at least you have sent positivity out into the universe and whoever picks it up is free to pass it on.
I often think of old friends, neighbours, poets no longer here, hoping they've overcome their challenges and or achieved their goals.
What a nice way of embracing a random of act of kindness, by opening your arms...
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