Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Ugh

I have never been so frustrated in my life. Reasons why will be left unsaid, but know that this is not a good day for me. 1

I just got back from the store, I figured that the air would clear my head...but it didn't. 2

I hate it when people think they are the reason for your change, as if they were your knight in shining armor. The only reason my life is changed, is because I chose to change it, not because someones love somehow made an impact on my life. People really need to stop thinking that they are that damned good. 3

I hate it when people think that I had a low self esteem, but now it's all better because of them. Really, I don't know where people get this shit. 4

I'm so fucking tired of people complaining about how I spend my time on the internet, as if my relationship status is really that important to express to the entire world. Who the fuck cares whether I am single or in a relationship? Would it stop any of you from being my friend?5

I am so damn tired of being confined to this house, I am beginning to think that there is no world past the front door. Really, what kind of life is this that I am living?6

Each day that ticks by is another day of failure. I am not living the life that I want, nor am I around those who actually love me. So in a sense, it's as if I am already dead.7

My mother is probably crying her eyes out at the way my life has headed...but right now it is out of my control because of my lack of money and resources.8

I live in a beautiful home that is worth 300k, but no amount of money or material things can give me my happiness, I learned that many years ago. So I don't know why I sit here thinking that this one will change..because it won't. 9

I am confined to this hell, which is not by choice. If I had it my way, I would be home around the people who love me. More than likely...outside watching my son play in the yard while my aunt is talking to me about her boyfriend and how fast his children are growing up. But instead, I sit here with this frustration and the want to fucking cut into my skin again. 10

People fucking annoy me to no end, and I wish they would fucking stop. It not only gets me frustrated, it puts my anxiety up at a level that will throw me into a panic attack. 11

I am so fucking tired of people thinking that I need a goddamn babysitter, as if I'm three years old. I'm fucking 31, if I needed a babysitter, I'd at least make sure that he looks like fucking Brad Pitt and gave me sponge baths now and then. 12

I really have no time to list all of my frustrations right now...or tell you how my day is going because really, there will be a thousand more cuss words to write, and none of this journal will make any sense as my adhd will take over and everything will be jumbled to the fullest degree. 13

So I'll leave you with this...14

If you love me, know that the only thing I need from you is a hug...that's it. It's free...which reminds me, if you haven't checked it out yet, there is a free hugs video on my page. Please check it out, it's really awesome. 15

Add your comment

    : Comment:

Comments


  • Walking Oxymoron gold member
    November 7
    Edit | Reply
    Dunno if it'll work cos i'm doing it from my phone...
    Loved the passage about the babysitter!
    hope you're slightly less Agitated soon...


  • Stickboy
    November 7
    Edit | Reply

Recent Journals

  • Well
    I really haven't been up to much lately, no writing that is, but I plan on returning with some soon. 1 I put up our Christmas tree, got depressed doing it because I know that this will be my last Christmas spent here. 2 I called my landlord, she will let me know when an apartment opens up for me. You see, t
    1 day ago, 200 words. → 3 comments, Add one?
  • ...
    I'm currently chilling out on youtube, checking out some videos...trying to find something interesting. Sorry to those who have messaged me, I'm pretty busy. Hope everyone is well
    1 day ago, → 1 comment, Add one?
  • Depression
    I have been depressed for the last couple of days, so depressed that I have become physically ill. I don't feel like doing anything, but found myself with 5 contests to judge, so that's how I am spending my night tonight. 1 I had a great Thanksgiving up until the late hours of the night. For the past several mon
    on Nov 29 4:36 PM, 600 words. → 2 comments, Add one?
  • ....
    I'm going through some serious things tonight, and because of it, I don't feel like being online. I will probably be on tomorrow, not sure for how long, but I will stop in and say hi to everyone. I hope that you all had a pleasant holiday. 1
    on Nov 27 7:23 PM, 100 words. → 1 comment, Add one?
  • Happy Turkey Day
    There will be a total of 6 people here for dinner, so I have a lot to do to get ready. Cooking, cleaning, and more cooking. I will be on later today, not sure when...but I will stop in and say hello. Unless the tryptophan puts me out, then you might have to wait until much later. I plan on eating until my buttons pop
    on Nov 26 8:30 AM, 100 words. → Make first comment?
  • I
    have the bestest favorites. you guys really rock. OK, it's time I go to bed for real this time!!! 1 Nite
    on Nov 25 8:50 PM, → 1 comment, Add one?
  • Goodnight
    Sorry, but my eyes just can't stay open any longer. 1 Have a great night
    on Nov 25 6:51 PM, → 4 comments, Add one?
  • Tired
    I am so tired today, feel much like catching some sleep, but figured I would hold a quickie first. 1 Tomorrow is going to be a big day, getting ready for that huge turkey dinner. There won't be a big crowd here, but enough to set my anxiety on a level that I won't like. 2 The house is clean except for the b
    on Nov 25 5:22 PM, 100 words. → 3 comments, Add one?