im so desperatly sad all the time.i cant stand living because i dont feel like i deserve it.i feel like i should be dead. all the time it feels like im a shell caught in a receding tide.being swept away by an ocean of misery. i can feel the waves crashing down on me. i cant feel the salt so dense i can feel it pouring out my eyes and killing me. i can feel the presence of the predators waiting to eat me whole. i cant stand it. i cant stop it. i would reach out for help but it takes both hands to hold on. i would call for help but im afrain the if i open my mouth i will drown or noone will hear me. theres not enough air left anyway, ive been holding on my breath for so long theres too much. its a fight not for only mt life but my sanity and so much more. i dont know how to keep it up. my arms are getting tired and im loosing breath fast. how much time is left till i run out?
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