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[ T.h.e.c.o.n.v.e.r.s.a.t.i.o.n.I.'.v.e.b.e.e.n.w.a.i.t.i.n.g.f.o.r.1 ]

T.h.e.c.o.n.v.e.r.s.a.t.i.o.n.I.'.v.e.b.e.e.n.w.a.i.t.i.n.g.f.o.r.1

Like holy shit, ever since September 4th - Where I became a new person - I've been looking for hin2

Waiting for him. 3

[[Feeling him, touching my heart but keeping his distance.]]4

Like holy shit, here comes Kristen Dagnese, someone who's never spoken a civil word to me before. Here she comes, saying she K-N-O-W-S where Matt is. 5

[[W~O~W]]6

He's been in my city all this time. My city's not even that big. Where has he been?7

[[No. Don't get angry. This is important.]]8

"Do you know who he hangs out with? If he's grounded? Where he's been?"9

...10


"Nope"11

Wooow.12

((OMG. TYPING.))13

[["He's like a brother to me"]]14

Woah, woah. Backing up.15

u.p g.n.i.k.c.a.B.16

17

+++++++18

Talking to:
(1) person who's been horrible to me all through the years we've "known" eachother. She's giving me vital information to a situation I've been stuck in for the past few months. Information I would give anything to get, and the most amazing thing is, she's not expecting anything in return but a mere whisper of the most famous gossip. 19

(2) person who is telling me not to stay up late because I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow. That doctor's appointment will include a check-up and a tetanus shot. Both of those are necessary before I begin my new school.20

(3) person who is angry at me because I deleted her off FaceBook. The reasons for that are mainly unable to be printed online or in words, but to sum up my thoughts, I feel that she would disapprove of my behavior and exclude me from her definition of a family. I decided to delete her because instead of her being hurt by my actions she would [hopefully] understand the situation. In this unpleasant circumstance, she doesn't. ((This may take a while.))21

Right now, with number (2), the topic has changed to our family. Why we feel like two seperate teams quietly planning who jumps who tomorrow night. She's comparing herself to my family and trying to say how much better she is. The other day, she even compared Shadow to Jasper. I defended him, but really, how much more of this can I take? And does she not notice that after every declaration that she makes which states she's so much better than my family [as if she can replace them], I just keep saying, "Yep, yeah, yes, whatever."?22

And with number (3), she's stating her worry over my condition and hinting I might need help with my alcoholic tendencies. Worst part is, I'm 13 years old. [[Oh, no! She's so young! What is she doing to herself?!]] Well, honestly, I feel like I'm fixing myself. For a little while. The shitty part of this deal is I end up more broken than I was in the first place. But, the more broken you are, the more fixed you need to be, am I right?23

"now ur dad is trying hard to love u like own daughter" Excuse me. Are you trying to say I'm NOT his own daughter?24

I'm done. End of discussion. I need some fucking sleep.25

[[Dreams, where everything comes true, and shit ends up in the garbage, not the bottom of your shoe.]]

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