In love with a dead man

- I -1

I see him from time to time
He was in my class 5 years ago
But I just ignore him everytime
Not ready to face him, never ready to face anything
I always let things take me by surprise2

And now I saw him some days ago
I wasn't sure it was him at first
But I knew afterwards
And just now I realize how much I really liked him3

Conscience always hits so hard
If you allow yourself to stand still, to breathe, to think
My memories revived me
It's fall, I let go of my leaves: my wishes, my dreams
Not knowing if they will be fulfilled4

Will I always be desperately
In love with the past?
Will I always be too late
Crying over dead men?5

- II -6

He liked me then, and he didn't hide it
But all I cared for was my pride
I was too young, too frightened
Of love, the unknown7

It's not that I regret
I was unprepared
But I know I've hurt him
With my ignorance, my constant refusals
I could do better if I had another chance8

5 years is a long time
He must have changed
And I don't know anything about him, about his life
And yet I can't get him off my mind9

I know it's crazy
But now I look out for him everytime
He could be anywhere, and I won't know where nor when
I'm lost, wandering like a dead girl10

I'm a haunting ghost
And it's an odd thing to do, but I already did it before
I have no choice but to follow
This crazy desire
My love for a dead man11

- III -12

I've hit the stone once, will it be twice?
Will it be a lesson if it ends badly?
Or will it work out somehow, and end well?13

Will I always be desperately
In love with the past?
Will I always be too late
Crying over dead men?14

Every disease has a cure
Every question has got its answer
And I'm looking for it, chasing after
What will I come accross?15

I have to accept that there won't be anything at the moment
I have to accept this emptyness, this reality
I must endure, and come back down to earth16

I don't ever want to be afraid again
I don't want to be blinded and miss any chances
I don't want to think at all actually
But I can't stop myself
So I will just go on thinking until I burn out