Well I have to say it... I fucking hate my house.... I never thought I would say that but It is really starting to get me down. I mean having the independence is awesome but apart from that and the fact that I'm living with T the house itself is a hole... there is mold growing on my ceiling, Toya's Ceiling, in the bathroom and oh yeah even in our hallway... We have called the head office of the estate agents and they seem to be doing Jack Shit about it. To top ot all off at half 6 this morning (on my day off) my ceiling decided to start leaking... oh the fun of it... I am seriously getting annoyed with the house falling down now, and along with everything else going on right now I am starting to feeling really down again and I hate feeling like this.1
If you are not aware of whats going on basically the job where Toya used to work is full of assholes who fired her for doing her job... so she is currently unemployed and not earning very much money. I am paying most of the bills which I don't mind as it has to be done, but it doesn't leave us with much leisure time or money, basically we have enough for rent each month and I am currently paying Council tax by myself which takes a large chunk of it out. After Travel and electric I am only left with about £100 quid which I know sounds a lot, but when you think that we need food to live it doesn't leave us with much for other things and with the ever prominent arrival of Christmas I am just reminded that no one is going to get presents this year, Fan-Fucking-Tastic as if my family doesn't hate me enough already I now have to explain to them that I haven't got them a present. Awesome. 2
I have tried to be strong for Toya but I am slowing breaking, I guess it can also be linked to another thing that is happening to me, Basically there is a woman where I work who constantly criticises what I eat and do and also what Toya does.. despite the fact they have never met. At first I just ignored her but she is slowly creeping in and is really getting to me. But I don't like to say anything because it would just make things worse.3
There is a chance that I may be getting a boyfriend soon, he works with my mum which is weird at the moment but the main issues is How Toya Feels about it and I guess part of me doesn't want to get a BF because I know she will feel left out or as though I'm abandoning her and I would hate for her to feel like that because of me. (And Yes I may sound "self obsessed" but you know what Fuck it I'm allowed to express my emotions and feelings like everyone else and I don't think I should be Judged for that.) Anyway this guy is great I really like being around him but I know how much it upsets Toya and although she has said it's my life, she is a big part of it and I hate when she is miffed or annoyed or upset whether I am responsible or not. I guess that's what Friendship does huh!?4
Well I'll leave it there as I don't want to seem Too self obsessed... Although from what I hear some people already think this of me... It's awesome when people Judge you without knowing you...
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oohhh Lj is sweraing *runs and hides* hehe God you guys are getting no luck what so ever are ya? I think you should just refuse to pay your rent until they sort it out, Im sure they'd move their arses then... or get an hour free session with a solicitor to see if they can suggest anything for you... they can sometimes sort out formal letters of complaints.
I can see why things are really beginning to get you down and to be honest I thought they would have befroe hand...
Christmas---> If your family cannot understand tell them to shove it up their jacksy's (people have lost the purpose of christmas-- the celebrations of families being together... people are wayyy to materialistic these days!!) Meh
As for Toya -- being Christmas seasons she may be able to get a temporary job as people begin to look now for helping hands.. so don't fret too much, something will come along soon... This damn recession smells!
Ohh chance of a Boyfriend GO GIRL!! I'm sure this will be hard on T as she's feeling quite vulnerable at the moment of maybe not being able to give you enough... But T will be happy to see you happy and I think at the moment you guys need some happiness
Self obbsessed?? Everyone gets like this... even meeeee ffs!! Haha As for you being self obbsessed right now??? Nope I can't see that you are.. You need some relief girly otherwise your going to snap... as for what people think FUCK THEM... what do they know??
You are entitled to having feelings as everyone else is
People judging you without knowing you... maybe some people get frustrated because they cannot get close enough to even get to know you--- for example me... sometimes I get totally fecked off that I cannot get to know someone... but hey shit happens lol
Anyhow about the girl that keeps commenting on your food... It may "seem" that it'll make things worse by confronting the matter... but it is bullying and by her making you keep silenced she is actually bullying you and winning at it coz it makes you feel shit right?
My advice-- (although you dont have to listen) Put in a complaint huni because you are at school to teach not to be be-littles by a shit head
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I hope you're okays..Stay strong
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