Push Me.

I thought today is going to be any other day, but today is different and special. Will and I have a history together that seemed more special than that of the everyday relationships I encounter. He and I met online, we dated, we cried, we hated each other, we laughed, we fell in love, we argued, we are best friends. We met each other in person already. As a matter of fact, we aren't strangers to each other anymore. I think the only guy who ever made a huge difference in my life was him. He motivated me, he changed me and he has been a jackass in a good way. 1

I learned so much about myself today, even if it was only a day. I learned that I have to love myself before anyone else and that I need to find my dreams or else I would get lost. It's a cruel world out there and the only weapon I have is the belief that I am my own armor. I don't need anyone to fight for me because I have myself. I control my life. I own my life and I need to love myself. 2

I need to change and find what I'm looking for. I don't want to feel dead for the next months. I wouldn't be able to bear it. I might have to kill myself if I can't do anything about my depression. I need to do small things that make me happy. This time I won't look at the whole entire staircase. All I need to do is take that small step.3

Thanks Will... I really needed that. I won't fail you. I'm going to be a confident, independent and free-spirited young woman!