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My Inner Journey Begins

I've disassociated many positive emotions throughout my existence. This recognition has allowed me to recognize I need to rekindle the 'good' feelings and shed or hatchet back the anger, sadness, grief, stress, and despondency. These emotions are easy to replicate for me as I have a hard time remember how to feel joy, gratitude, and love. I don't know where this journey will lead me or how long it will be, but I believe this to be a necessary step in the food chain of my life. 1

I felt nothing most days or assumed I felt nothing ... just another day in a prismatic world I couldn't touch, that I didn't deserve. I wish to hold those bright rays, so it stands to reason I must change inside before I may have the chance to see, to disrobe the blindfold.2

I'm sure I will periodically be back to AP to share any break-thrus and such .. but I will be limiting my internet time, for it seems a crutch to delve deeper into the state I was in.3

Call it growing pains, call it a midlife crisis .. I call it my Inner Journey, life changing and necessary. 4

Maybe I'll have a little gift for you all when I return .. 5

"Aut viam inveniam aut faciam" Compliments of: http://www.yuni.com/library/latin.html6

Thank you my friends ... may you find your own directions with ease and comfort.7

8

Steven L. Wolbert

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  • JinSays gold member
    October 25
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    Steve. I'll call you soon, when things around here calm down.I've alot to discuss with you. Havent forgotten you, think about you all the time. Dont forget me, okay?
    love to you always,
    jin


    • Solo Wisp gold member
      October 25
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      I've been in severe disconnect mode lately because that's how I tend to get when things are falling apart at work and also Dad had some issues with his computer and yadda yadda. So far, I've been able to meet those challenges, BUT I've noticed I'm losing something else or have lost something else or have all ready lost something ... and as confusing as that is, I'm trying to find it .. trying to change my outlooks and thoughts and this and that, all this BS is 90% internal. In essence, I'm redefining myself.

      Honestly, Jin, I've rested on your shoulders too much at times and can't thank you enough for having broad enough shoulders to handle some of my issues.

      I don't think I could forget you during the rest of this life.

      As it seems, last week could have been worse .. but with focusing my energy on keeping my cool, so to speak, things worked out. Not easy, but issues were resolved or understood and I couldn't ask for more since it develops into a confidence boost. By this exercise, per se, I am starting to feel what I believe gratitude feels like. In the past, gratitude was never truly felt on my end .. it was more of a feeling to pass by, nod in recognition of words said and move on to the next issue. In some instances, this gratitude feeling makes my eyes well up.

      Last night, I came across a job that fits my experience almost perfect. It is closer to home and the company seems more stable that where I'm at. Yes, I sent in my resume and will see what they offer.

      Much love Doll ..

      Steve


  • Stardust-luvr
    October 24
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    you shall continue to be in my thoughts and know you can talk to me anytime you need to. Star

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