a review of the last two weeks...

okay so my life is really crappy...my mother went through my diary and read everythong i wrote in it....she called the cops because i had sex with 2(notice the word TWO) guys she called me a slut and told me i was going to go no where in life and that i would never amount to anything....she makes me feel dirty all over and i hate myself for allowing her to get to me like that!!! ugh it just pisses me off....she has told my best frien kacie that i sneak out constintly and have sex with guys which i don't....then last night when kacie's dad came to pick up some of her stuff, my mother told him that i got grounded for sneaking out, having sex with a 24 year old as payment for some weed!!! first of all she has no right to tell someone i don't even know MY personal business and second of all she should have never read my diary in the first place....it makes me sooo very mad....i cut myself today....and my teacher wants me to talk to a counslor but i can't because every time i tell the counsolors the truth they call my mom and she tells them i'm nothing but a comulsive liar....i hate her so much...my aunt wants to call CPS on her for not allowing me to take my medication,for not allowing me to see my theripist, and for emotionlay fucking with my head....(i went to Timberlawn over then summer, which is a phyco ward for crazy people...i went for extreme deppresion and for having suicidal thoughts and one attempt...while i was there they told me that i had to be put on meds...now my MOM is the one who sent me there and apparently i was lieing the entire time and i don't have a problem.)i am grounded to my room because of what i have in my diary...which is bullshit.....oh heres the best part....i had two pages blacked out to the point you could barely read what was on the pages and she thinks i am in love with my father my god he is 52 years old!!! that is sooooo gross!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! she doesn't understand half of the things i wrote about but she is jumping to a shit load of coclusions, like the hole fucking a 24 year old for weed....i never once fucked him but yes i got weed from him for free without selling my body to him without paying for it without anything....i wrote in my diary that i was thinking about sneaking out so i could talk to him....TALK not fuck talk and she does this.....i hate myself for things i havent even done i am not worthless but she is trying to make me feel like i am....she is such a damn hyprocrite though she got kicked out of her house at 13 and was fucking every guy that had a dick just to get food and drugs and sometimes a place to sleep  i am not a slut for having sex 2 times....with a guy... she is the one who told me to go out and fuck someone!! she told me to do it because i told her i way  bi and that i have had sex with a girl....it made her so angry...she has told me on more than one occasion to go get knocked up so she can have a grandbaby to take care of...this is my mother telling me to do these things and when i do them she flips her lid.....am i wrong for wanting to get out any way i can ?? am i wrong for hating someone who promised not to read my diary???well i hope not cause i do...1