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Feb.5th 8:42

I keep telling myself over and over....don't over think things be happy for what you got, you got love so be greatful. But i can't. I hate being so pessimistic. I keep thinking "he's gonna break up with me" "he doesn't really like me" "he'll get tired of me soon". I could tell before we went out he really likes me!!! I still think he does!!! but living in the predicament that i live in is making it so hard for me to hope this relationship will last. After being hurt so many times you become scared that people are going to hurt you. I just want to be happy for once please. I used to pray to god and now i've stopped so look what it's done. I'm sitting here now crying wondering if my bf will break up with me and we just started dating yesterday. Now i'm begging and pleading to god to forgive me and please make this relationship one to last. I know i'm probably not worth all that. I've done some really bad things in the past and even i wouldn't want to bother with me. I hate those nights where i wish i was dead knowing that some people would be better off with out me. I'm trying to remain optimistic in front of my bf i don't want him to see this side of me the crying and pessimism, because so far my closest friend that knows is drifting away from me because he's tired of dealing with me talking about my problems. Well god i still pray that you hear my prayer and help me along the way because without you god i couldn't make it through. So, that's all  i have to say and hopefully these tears i'm still crying now and trying to conceal inside will be tears of joy tomorrow when i get to see my bf.

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  • BrokenKittyKat
    February 11
    Edit | Reply
    I know Exactly how you feel because that what Im going threw to!!!
    Good luck girl!!!
    tHIS IS REALLY GOOD BTW!!!

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