spiral entry 10-14-09

1


...because the bible contradicts itself and science...
religion really makes no sense at all.
was it made up for the comfort of having something to believe in?
or having a "definite" explanation for how all things came to be and why they are so?
("they" say "you'll know when god tells you" or "ask god when you go to heaven")
it's silly, comfort.
feelings , beliefs, emotions...
all silly
yet I will continue to say the word "god" out of context
and I will continue to have "feelings" and "imotions"
and I will continue to say "I believe"...
but why?
routine speech, maybe
and can you want to have done something different in the past, yet have no regret for what you had done instead?
a man can claim he lives without regret and still say he wishes he could have dont things differently
why do we say "wish"?
I "wish" I knew the answers
wishes are wants; wants, wishes
I want to know the answers
same
why do we tend to want what we cannot have?if we cannot have it, why waste time on wanting?
and always wanting more, more, more
it doesn't get anybody anywhere2

....3

why ask questions you know you will never have the answers to?
like the ones I ask, or at least most of them
is there ever a simple explanation for anything?who knows the most about life, and what does he or she know?
why would I ask so many questions when I know they will not be answered?
why would I continue to ask questions when I know I am going to die anyway? when I know we are all going to perish?
it doesn't matter!
yet I continue4

school...
why do we go?
I mean, of course it is designed to teach young people and prepare then for the world, but why be prepared when it won't even matter in the end?
great advancements in medicine, science, and so on will mean nothing
why do I love?
why does anyone?
nothing happens for a "reason", it just happens
people die, houses burn, babies are born...
it just happens
so why do I love?
it just happens5

and people get so upset over skepticism instead of just opening their minds to what is real. just freaking think! the only reason why I, and people, are skeptic is because, for some things, it is needed. some don't think about much, even the most important things, and of course sometimes they learn from it, and sometimes they don't. those who don't are even more ignorant. ...6

i could go on forever, but i think this is enough for today.