so i've just realized how much i wear my heart on my sleeve. i fall in love to easily and i have no one to blame but myself. all my life i have never had one true love expect for my ex boyfriend aj. but somethings happened and i messed that one up too. now that i think about it, i could have spent the rest of my life with him. but it doesn't really matter because he doesn't love me anymore. and i'm pretty sure he could care less if i just rolled over and died. .....i wish i could die. i wish i could just end all of this pain that i carry with me. i'm tired of being lied to and i'm tired of people using me for their own personal gain. i cried myself to sleep last night. i'm already sick and crying is just making me sicker. i told myself over and over that everyone uses me and that's the end of that. i guess i tried to make myself believe that. but when i find one person that is good to me, i let him in and he just tears me down again. i cannot keep rebuilding myself like this. it is killing me and i'm an emotional wreck. i can't hold myself together forever. one day i'm going to have enough it and end up killing myself. i know its going to happen because i'm afraid of growing old. so i'll probably end my life before then. why hasn't god already made it happen already? why does he keep me here? i'm a disgrace to my parents and dumb ass to others. i'm a fuck up and a mess up. why am i still here?
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I Understand
Sweet heart listen things happen and we may not be able to change them
But there wilo be another trust me. I've been through a hell of alot of stuff but I get through it and yes I have try to end it but it never works but I awalys ended up finring out that there was always someone that truly cared about me. Please don't do this, If you need to talk to someone I'M HERE IF YOU NEED ME PROMISE -
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i don't think i should still be here
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I know you hate me Marie, but everyone screws up, it's a fact of life. No one doesn't make them, I've had a large share, some with you, some with others, but you always keep moving on. Never quit fighting until the end. That's all I'll say...
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join the club on the heart brake and wanting to die
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