What happens when you close your eyes? Is the darkness too much and you fall into unconsciousness or do you lie awake as memories and the color of thoughts flash before you? Could anyone think what I think before I’m gone into another selfish dream? The color black doesn’t look black at all, not at night, not with a mind that can never rest.1
The miracle of life is forgotten the first time you notice you’ve lost the innocence of being a child. Everything that was once so beautiful disappears and turns into another fake smile on another blank face. I’ve been searching for so long for something real that it seems I’ve overlooked it. Have I? Can there be anything left for me once I’m older? 2
I feel as If there is a creature trapped inside of me, a creature that’s writhing and clawing at my skin and sneering at me every second. I can’t make it shut up. It tells me, every single night when I close my eyes, why did you let yourself go? How weak are you that you let yourself die, let me emerge? How long will it take you to get yourself back?
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dont even think about being sad, baby.
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