As alot of you know, I am working on alot of things.
My mother and I have not had the best of a relationship. and some of that is my fualt. i have held this grudge against her, for so long now. I have written a letter explaining where I am at in my life, and situations i need to have laid to rest. the two major ones are my daddy's passing when i was just a child- the grieving process that i didnt get to express- and the sexual abuse I had to go through which she blames me.
I expressed that it was just an inncocese of a child wanting to play with a friend but the responsiblilities of the other adults to make sure i was protected. i am hoping we can resolve this and not play the blame game.
and with my daddy's passing, she was going through alot on her own. Trying to figure out how to raise three girls and able to provide without having him around. she instilled in us that we need to work for a living and put all of ourselves into it. that is fine and i accept that. but there is more to life ten just work. she has never been an emotional support and is trying now. As she claims i've been in a dark place in my life and understands i need to get out of my funk.
I wasnt looking for a response but am glad i have gotten one. I am responding to the one she wrote, and hopefully we can move forth and have a mother daughter relationship which i have longed for.
Thanks Mom for bringing me into this world and helping to create what i am today. I love you
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