This is a somewhat impulsive series of thoughts occurring today. I welcome people to comment with additional or personal thoughts, but I'm sure this line of thinking is not for everyone. I found myself in deep contemplation this morning on the fate of my soul...I've had this "conversation" with myself on numerous occasions. I'm no priest and I'm no murderer, but like many, I feel that I am somewhat in between with what I'll call recognized sin. My faith relates to the written word of the Bible..and punishment seems certain is some areas and total forgiveness is interpreted in other areas. So I guess, like the many things I worry about in this life, I fall into a bit of worry regarding the afterlife as well. I had a very interesting experience this morning that I thought I'd close my eyes and play the piano. I do play normally, but not so much lately. But for this time, I just wanted to let my hands play whatever they "felt" as my mind coursed through thought, not adhering to any chord progression at all or any musical logic whatsoever. I found that as I swam in worry the notes fell so much more regularly in patterns that would be described as sad chords or combination, nearly tragic music in places...and as I directed my mind to thoughts of seeking God and allowing Him to help me the music, which again was completely random with eyes closed, fell on much more harmonious combination. As I said the words "I seek You" in my head toward the end, I had nearly eight seconds of the most beautiful music that ended almost perfectly on a light and bright chord. This means something to me. This enforces the notion that I have had that worry brings bad things and that it is helpful to embrace ones goodness and actively call upon the tenets therein, such as true forgiveness of others, etc. It makes the day much more enjoyable and it is truly a comfort to know that I am trying. I know when I am not trying I feel like I live in a tunnel. Much more thoughts on this but I'll stop here for now.
Add your comment
Comments
1 - 28 of 28
-
Well I know we are not friends but I was interested in who this one was that commented, which of course I am always very thankful for comments. I was raised in a very strict religion but everything seems backwards now when it concerns my life and even though I sincerely believe in a God, I am not planted firmly in one certain faith. My whole family is, even my husband, so this makes for a problem and a lot of pressure to return back to that faith of which I was raised. They believe I will not have chance at salvation unless I return. I really have no idea what I believe but I do believe what ever I decide needs to come from the heart and not pressure. I do think that people pay for their sins and just because some prays feverently at the end of his life, doesn't mean God will forgive all. One thing that is interesting is, the Bible says the wages of sins is death. (Romans 6:23) and although I am not so religous, it makes for a confusing subject doesn't it? If that is true does it mean we can go out and just do anything... and...once we die our sins are covered? I don't believe so or else why should we even try to be good? Anyway, maybe that one scripture will give you peace of mind since it is in the Bible
Take care please. -
-
Thank you so much for stopping by. I realize this subject is somewhat broad, yet many people juggle their beliefs and the inherent significance therein. I just don't want to 'make it fit' for how it serves me best emotionally. After all, there is only one truth, whether we are aware of it or not. Sounds like there is some potential turth to discover for both of us.
-
-
I would like to continue on this subject when I have time. I'm glad your shared this. You wrote in one of your replies "I find the dialogue helpful to train my mind correctly on the positive nature of the collective soul." I don't find this statement un-biblical; I see it as a modern version of something like (or very similar to) "I find the dialogue helpful to train my mind correctly on the the goodness of the body of Christ."
I have to run...but the above request to converse on this refers to particular experiences I have had in reference to the idea that in modern times Satan's battlefield is the mind. Mary
Oh... I appear to be of the same mindset as katie marie. -
Such an inspiring piece I love the honnesty in this open reflection, what a lovely spiritual experience you had. Beautiful.
-
-
Thank you so much for stopping by. More and more, I consider visits from friends here on AP to have the character of sipping tea for conversation. I have never started a journal here until this one, and I won't go crazy with them...but I do like knowing that an eclectic group of nice folks may help me bounce some thoughts around here and there. It's all about the joy in the written word and those who are instruments of interpretation. Have a great night.
-
-
How His image shines
This experience shows to me how we are created in God's image. Certainly the part of Him that is in you shone through in those eight seconds, and shared a bit of His beauty with you. Amazing that only when we completely relinquish ourselves and our determined will, are we aware of the part of Him that dwells in us and that would work through us if we only allowed it. Forgiveness is a topic that is very timely for me now. Thank you for sharing this and inspiring me to relinquish my will, that I may forgive, and allow His beautiful music to play in my everyday life as well. -
hey steve...I feel you here...Im not a bible reader..though I am a believer..I remember once being terribly worried about my own fate...and a wise friend reminded me of a bible reading which I cannot even remember now...but he basis of it was not to worry about tomorrow...but simply trust that god will guide us and give us strength to face the pitfalls on the way.
He then went on to remind me that all we truly need to do is acknowledge that died for our sins and rose again.
Love the message behind the music...seems to me that God was truly moving within you...what a beautiful moment
hugs at ya..and thankyou for haring this one...it is so uplifting...and brightened my perspective today
T
-
-
I like when good things come of confusion and doubt. The key was sharing. There really are a wonderful lot of receptive and caring people in the world, including yourself, who take the time to offer thoughts of inspiration. I applaud all who have contributed their own vignettes of wisdom to my scattered thoughts.
-
-
Hello, Steve. My name's Dean.
I've read through this entire dialogue, and I could both sense and identify with what you are feeling. And as I read through the comments, I have both agreed and disagreed with some of the advice given. It was all sincere in the sentiments that were expressed back to you, but some of it was also sincerely wrong, in my humble opinion and experience.
The whole idea that the answers you seek are to be found somewhere inside of yourself, for example... if those answers were somewhere inside of you all along, then the next logical question seems to be, "Then how'd you lose you way in the first place?" So, no, I don't believe you'll find the answers you're looking for in your own soul, or inside of yourself; not unless you have the Holy Spirit living on the inside of you, that is.
Katie seemed to give you the best advice, and you'd do well to re-read her comments, especially since I see you've sensed their truths tugging upon your heart already:
"I remember when I had it in the right perspective, there was not
an ounce of fear, regret, trepidation, or worry. I just felt that notion bounce. Very glad for your input."
I was not even going to comment, to be honest, because I felt that Katie had done such a wonderful job of taking the time to share these truths with you. But then I slept on it over night (I'm in Iraq right now) and this morning I thought I should at least offer my support of what has or has not been said to guide you in the right direction, here... not to slight those whom I may disagree with, but simply to send a brother down the path that I know in my own heart is the "right" road.
Our experiences are all differing, but there are absolute truths that God has indeed designed into the whole of human creation, which we all have in common, and which simply cannot be violated or ignored. One of these truths is that we were created to experience a relationship (not religion) with God himself. And I think you probably know and sense that to be true. As far as anything I may have to offer in guiding you back to that place of relationship, my experiences and issues, again, are differing from yours. But this scripture does come to mind:
2nd Corinthians 1:3-4
"Praise the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God..."
And so, for what it's worth, I do offer you my own story and search for absolute truth, amid all of the "issues" I have also had to sort through in my own life. You can read all of the details at the link just below. But the end of the story is the same for all of us who eventually accept the truth. What we all need is a restored relationship with God, and that relationship is found only through faith in Jesus Christ.
God bless!
Dean
LINK: Beyond the Shades of Gray -
-
Hey Dean,
Thanks for the time and heart that went into your response here. Your words ring true....much like living in the now, rather than the past or future. Savoring the present moment within the context of knowing one stands with God seems to serve as the spark along a fuse, burning up the doubt in it's path. Good luck in Iraq. Hope you get to finish up soon.
Sincerely,
Steve
-
-
It's human to feel this at times. It's my feeling those 8 seconds on your piano was very much the Holy Spirit lifting you up, as you spoke to Him. I have a great deal of faith in God, and I trust you will hear His words "Well done, good and faithful serva
-
-
I agree about the music. That was the feeling within the experience. I like the message you send here. Thanks.
-
-
I think that a lot of people, myself included, share the same experience that you did. The worrying about the afterlife, the balance between sin and virtue, and faith in general. e should do our best and have faith and trust that God will guide us to safety.
One thing I believed since I was a child: God is everywhere around us and God is within us. We cannot see him, but we can feel His presence gracing our lives.
I'll keep in my prayers -
-
I do appreciate the prayers. It's humbling to receive the grace of such caring in response to what was the somewhat turbid ramblings of my subconscious. Thanks again.
-
-
Strength in our souls
Often we are overpowerd by emotion that our whole body seems to react in a way that bringr across sadness and hurt. We feel hopeles,yet if we seeked deeper,the answers we were looking for,resides in our soul. Many times I find myself thinking whether this test on earth would be a blessing in my after life. I dont have the answers,however my faith lies in God. Forgivenes is something us as humans take for granted, Gods forgivenes is the greatest. Like im lead to believe that the purest of love is between yourseld and your Maker.
I wil keep u in my prayers
The strength however lies within your soul.
Take care
Zia,
-
-
Zia, thanks for being a friend and sharing your thoughts. I'll take that prayer and send you one as well. I know you've had your trials in life. I didn't intend for this thread to become overtly spiritual, yet, that is exactly what it is. I find the dialogue helpful to train my mind correctly on the positive nature of the collective soul.
-
-
It aint realy the spiritual factor,its more the hidden part of you,finding You
-
-
-
It is of my opinion that when you uttered the words, " I seek You", it was then that the Lord guided your fingers to play and that is why those eight seconds became beautiful instead of following the same dark tune that you were playing. We are given signs all the time that the Lord is here guiding us, often we just don't pay attention. I believe you paid attention and that is why you wrote this in hopes that others would recognize it as well. Bless you my friend.
-
-
I think you're right Suzy. Perhaps I wanted reinforcement or acknowledgment that I am trying. Now, when I intellectualize that thought, I suppose I may have recognized a time when I was not trying and I seek to be forgiven. It seems not to be a constant, the sensation of spiritual strength, like there is an ebb and flow to it, a flux that can be directly influenced by lucid intention and earnest focus on the spirit or the lack thereof....much like sadness and happiness, I'll assume. I always feel much better when I have signs and the sensation that God holds me tight and will protect me. I feel it is very important to continue to strive for this protection with good practice and kind gestures. Thanks for sharing your thoughts here.
-
-
Your profile page says you desire to write with 'an honest pen', seems you are doing that here. Something I much appreciate. I think the issue you may be having with what the Bible has to say about sin and it's punishment or forgiveness has to do with the conditions required to receive that total forgiveness. The book of Romans says 'all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God', ie the murderer and the priest are on the same playing field, how much sin is irrelevant, one cell of sin makes you a sinner. The book of Ephesians 2:8 says "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God not by works, so that no one can boast."
He gives the forgiveness freely to those who acknowledge their need of it and desire to receive it. I highly recommend a little book of fiction called The Shack. To me it paints the clearest picture of what relationship with God is meant to be.
My sister plays the flute and has talked about playing 'by the Spirit', sounds like that was what you were doing on the piano. It was the Holy Spirit that I was 'drinking' that inspired my 'Perfect Love' poem.
Katie -
-
I really appreciate the time to join me in thought. I will definitely stop by to read that inspired poem. Also, I get what you mean about forgiveness...what bothers me is the hint of doubt that it takes more to get forgivenss than merely wanting it and there is no absolute answer. Regardless, I do feel that desiring the grace of God and his forgiveness allows for a much better outcome overall. I have read some Biblical passages that were quite harsh for sinners. Who knows to what degree things are weighed? I prayed on it a bit today and felt somewhat better, as I knew I would. I certainly don't want to go mental worrying as I age, but the unknown is just that.
-
-
The unknown
I would contend that this does not need to be an unknown. There are those who would continue to point you to scriptures to bring you to that place of 'knowing' and peace. I could do that but I believe the knowing you are seeking needs to come through your spirit not your mind. Only then can you have rest in your soul. I tried to describe my experience of finding that in Loves Transforming Gaze. My relationship with Jesus is very intimate, personal and ongoing. I have absolutely no concern for life after death, not because of a lack of sin, but because I totally trust in the two things. The merciful and loving character of my God and the sufficiency of Christ's death and life to cover all that I lack. -
-
I recall a time when I was completely sure of this the way you are. Part of me still does have total confidence in the actions of Christ being sufficient to ensure a "safe passage." Yet, I still feel if a sane person murders, for example, that there must be some spiritual penance. Then, that annoying logical brain starts wearing me out, thinking there must be different degrees of perhaps "limbo" or "atonement" that must be endured before receiving all of the graces waiting. I think that by living a smooth and honorable life, and putting things in terms always of choosing higher standard choices with regard to options along the way, it makes the confidence more tangible.
-
-
Two things noted in what you said. "Safe passage". I don't believe Christ died to save you from hell and for heaven, though that is one of the results. He died to give you eternal life which Jesus defined, not as life AFTER death, but life in the Spirit NOW and ongoing for eternity. These are the words of Jesus: This is eternal life: That you might KNOW the one and only true God and Jesus Christ whom he has sent. That 'know' in the original Greek means an intimate union of oneness.
The other train of thought of penance, or doing good deeds to add to your confidence of favor with God, negates the very meaning of grace, undeserved favor. It puts you in the place of 'earning' something from God, which no one will be able to claim. When your concept of who God is, it will change how you approach this. The Apostle Paul said 'The love of Christ compels me'. His 'good works' were born out of his deep love for the One he served, not a desire to preserve his salvation. That is the thing I find different about my view (and the view presented in The Shack) than a lot of Christians. I do not serve Him for hope of reward or fear of punishment. I truly serve him out of a deep love born out of my seeing the unbelievable, unconditional love that he has for me. It is the source of all my self worth and greatest Joy. -
-
Kate, you are a sage, a rock, a bird in flight. You are truly helping me to shed this conundrum of worthiness, the feeling of standing in the wrong line for hours comes to mind...only to figure out the correct position from where to proceed at the end. As I said, I remember when I had it in the right perspective, there was not
an ounce of fear, regret, trepidation, or worry. I just felt that notion bounce. Very glad for your input. -
-
Your welcome
Sent you a PM.
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
Open, honest thoughts, my friend...
Will comment more later but for now, I send you prayers! -
-
Thanks for the prayers. I sent some too. I like to think God is watching and saying "Hmm, Steve looks troubled, maybe I'll show him that I am here for him somehow."
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 28 of 28
