You know, last night I was kind of restless. I finally decided to go to bed around 3 to 3:30, and couldn't sleep. I started thinking... I realized that I have been (and still will be) so obssesed with wondering and over thinking/analyzing everything that I really hadn't explored the simple things. I hadn't sorted through my memories in so long that last night I was bewildered by what had come before... It made me feel really sad and lonely. Now, I'm wondering and over thinking/analyzing why I hadn't gone through my memories in so long...
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Well Mitchell, just try to look forward. Whenever I look into my past, I hate it. Something was always wrong. Maybe it wasn't what I did, but maybe what someone else did to me. It keeps me awake constantly but I try to live with it. Just know that you can make life more fun and less lonely. You can make a better future, but you can't change your past.
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These were mainly good memories though, and it made me lonely because I hadn't seen some of the people I thought about in so long, and I haven't done anything nearly as fun or exciting as what I had thought about in years.
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Well you don't look back, you only look foward to the furture. That is a good thing. Im sorry that you felt lonely though. You are a really good guy though and you are very intresting. =))
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its possible for the same reasons i don't. whenever i go over mine, all i feel is darkness and fear. the bright good moments are now blotted out by m secrets and what ive done. im not proud of everything ive done, and i know some were to save my ass from jail and michaels too. but now, just to think of everything, it kills me inside. then i start to over analyze everything of done but the dark ones, seeing my mistakes and seeing how simple it could've been to avoid them. ohhh well you know, thats just the way my mind works. i hope you don't have secrets you would kill, an almost have to keep them secrets. that would suck big time.
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