Rhetorical Bitch Session

For those few that know me, this may come across as redundant but no matter as I am writing this more for my own personal enjoyment than for anyone to actually read...After a bit of a hiatus culminating with the birth of my daughter in August, I return to AP with the highest of hopes that those few of you that read and *gasp* even enjoy my work on the rare occasion, would still be members. I came across a prewrites contest in passing and because my writing has been sporadic at best these days (call it the "New Mommy Syndrome" if you will but I would rather just sit & stare at Madelyn than do much of anything else!), decided to enter one of the few pieces that I am genuinely proud of. Now, I have run a couple contests myself and am aware that if you run an uncensored contest (i.e. one with no rules) and request prewrites, you are most likely going to get inundated, regardless of the points offered. Nonetheless, I rarely enter a contest specifically to place - instead, I am pleased just to put my work on the chopping block for devouring by the masses, educated or otherwise. So, imagine my surprise when upon checking in this evening, I had received a message that said contest holder had deleted the contest due to receiving too many entries! And the message was further interesting as the person also stated, and I quote: "So if everyone can like delete their poem I'll give you all points I promise!!"1

Hmmm.....2

My initial thought was how are you going to give everyone that deletes their work from your contest points? So, I went to the contest page & saw that it was still up & in fact, was closed for judging. Now, I am thoroughly confused as the original message had been sent several hours prior to my logging in. So, I sent the .... young lady a message. Now, granted, it may seem rude to some but I felt like my opinion was valid. My message:3

Hmmm...forgive me in advance if this message comes off rude but regarding deleting your contest for too many entries - What did you expect when you gave no requirements & asked for prewrites?? As a writer, I'm a little offended that you didn't even READ my entry, much less comment on it and then to further add insult to injury, you decided to delete the contest. That's pretty sucky & I hope you think your next contest through a little better.4

Her response was not long in coming:5

1st of all I didn't delete it.
2nd you the fuck are you!?
3rd I'm not in the mood I just started cutting
And 4th I'm asking my friends to help me out
5th don't talk to me6

Don't mean to be offensive but... If you really don't know what I'm doing or when I'm doing it, jump off okay? I might sound bitchy but it's the blood talking.7

Now, here is where I got a little peeved. I investigated her page a little before responding and to be sure, I should have been more mature - after all I am twice her age and then some but really, I was spoiling for a little snark and felt like she certainly opened the door for me. Soooo:8

Well, I noticed that you didn't delete it but you DID send a message saying that was your plan. So, I've deleted my work already anyway.9

Second - if you are interested in knowing "who the fuck" I am - feel free to check my author's page - that's why we have them.10

Third, I'm a former cutter and being a bitch is not an excuse whether you are a cutter or not.11

Fourth, perhaps you shouldn't have sent a message THREE hours ago saying that you were deleting the contest if that wasn't your intent. And if you opted to have some friends help you out, maybe you should send a follow up message. Otherwise there will most likely be more than a few deleted entries, which defeats the purpose of a contest.12

Fifth - if you don't want people to talk to you - don't start contests and don't respond to messages like mine!13

You certainly do come off offensive and more than that, you seem to be using cutting as an excuse for it which is small and stupid of you. I have been a cutter since I was in my early teens and I am 33 now so please don't give me your drama. I have seen more than you could have possibly, I am sure.14

Block me if you like - I really could care less. 15

And the very best part of it all? Not only did she respond (complete with chatspeak nonsense & all!) but she also had her little munchkin friend (who has been a member at AP since May and yet has absolutely NO POETRY on her page - interesting. I thought AP stood for ALL POETRY!?) jump in the mix as well as below:16

Sorry I didn't even read ur message
Ur really crap
All I asked was to delete ur poems from the contests, get over it!
Ur makin it like I said all of ur poems are a bucket of piss.
I'm only 17 and ur acting like a 3 year old. 17

And her friend's note for good measure:18

Listen gramps, leave ****** alone. I read the contest and the notes. And yes I was in it too. I don't give a shit about it. Back off okay? It's not a big deal.19

Gramps?! Holy shit! And here I've been perfecting the Peter Pan complex all my life and this little twat calls me Gramps?! Obviously didn't notice the half naked chick that is on my Author Page nor did she bother to research who she was responding to in the least but above all else - who the hell is she to send me a message anyway!? I don't know her from Adam (or Eve, as it were)!20

These two make me worry about the future of my infant daughter as stupidity seems to be a rampant disease and easily caught. 21

***Names have been withheld to protect those too stupid to exist.***22

Thank you. I will abandon my soapbox at this time!23