*Danny Blyre: Supernatural Detective
Chapter One
Farewell, My Lovely Vampyre
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It was a dark and stormy night in Las Vegas, NM. One of those rainy nights when you have two choices: either kill yourself or get blackout drunk. Since suicide was out of the question (I couldn't afford bullets for my gun), I decided to finish off the bottle of Jack that some client had left in my office and watch the streaks of veined lightening cut the darkness into brilliant ribbons. "Thanks, buddy, wherever you are."2
I was gulping down my last shot of Mr. Daniels when she walked in. If there ever was a reason for living, this woman was it. Tall, more legs than torso, hair blacker than the violent storm raging outside my window, moonlight pale her skin, lips red as blood and, man, those eyes! Eyes greener than a fresh twenty dollar bill. If heaven existed, she would definitely be one of God's hottest angels. 3
"I need your help," she said in a voice that made my nickel plated, .44 caliber heart beat faster than Ricky Ricardo on a conga drum. Damn, if she wasn't married, I'd make her the first Mrs. Danny Blyre. If she was married, well, I'd just have to settle for a cozy one night stand. Yeah, Jack can warm you up, but only a young beautiful woman can get you up... sky high.4
"Sure, baby, I'll help you," I said leaning across my desk to get a better view of her mountain majesties as she sat down, "any way I can." Yeah, anyway, I wondered how she felt about kids? I always thought three was a good number.5
"I need to find this man." She took a 8 X 10 glossy out of her cheap handbag (hmmm, cheap handbag, spiky heel shoes, and a black, low cut dress that wrapped around her curvaceous body like a hungry python... that says something about a woman), tossed it onto my desk and-Holy Moly! I was looking down at the oldest old man I had ever seen. A full shock of grey hair stood at attention on the top of his misshapen skull, and his face... pale, deathly pale and more wrinkles on it than a cheap Hawaiian shirt from Wal*Mart. What's that old saying? ‘Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly is all the way to the bone.' And this guy was ugly! with a capital UG!6
"So, what did he do," I said trying to hold down that last hit of Jack I took, "rob his own grave?"7
And then it was her turn to lean towards me so close I could smell her. And she smelled like Christmas, the Fourth of July and every good birthday party I ever had as a kid. Her lips were right next to my left ear and I could feel her hot breath licking at my tympanic membrane as she whispered: "He turned me into a vampire."8
"A vampire, Huh? That's gotta suck. Listen, lady, if this is some kind'a joke-"9
" A joke?!" she yelled as she stood up, her once beautiful green eyes now blazing with red hot fire... literally! Then she opened her mouth wider than the Grand Canyon and two four inch, razor sharp fangs sprang from her upper gums, "DUH IS OO I A OK OO OU?!" She screamed like a banshee hooker on St. Patrick's Day as two, twenty foot leather wings popped out of her shoulder blades.10
"Okay, okay! Settle down!" I yelled back as I checked my ears for bleeding. And as quick as that she was right back to being her beautiful self again.11
"Great! I sighed, realizing that our wedding would have to be postponed if not all together cancelled. "Now, tell me the whole story."12
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* So I got a little messed up... thought the contest asked for prose... but it didn't... so I wound up with this.15
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