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Tuesday night, my oldest brother Bob died of a massive heart attack. I am finding it difficult to deal with in a way that not many may understand. I didn't know my brother to well, but recently had got in touch with him through facebook and thought this was the beginning of finally getting to know him. I think this was back in June. I only have spoke to him a few times since then and we would drop lines to eachother, here and there just to say hi and see how things were going. I guess he was a pretty great brother to me when I was little, but when I was 3 1/2 we moved 1800 miles away. It was hard for him to come see us and stuff and eventually we all drifted away. 2
He moved to Florida a bit later and when I went to see my sister in Illinois, he came too, The last time I saw him I was 13 years old. I guess you can say I am having mixed emotions now about the whole thing. It is just hard for me to grasp maybe? he was 20 years older than me, 46 years old. He was a health nut and he worked out every day.. and for him to pass so suddenly like this is just a shock. I have had my bouts of crying and laughing, but I really just don't know how to accept this whole thing. I find it hard to talk to anyone about it and especially those that love him most, because their tears are far more meaningful than my own. I guess, while talking to them, I just feel helpless in finding words to say to them or ways to express my own feelings toward it. 3
Anyhow, I just wanted to get this off my chest and maybe breathe a little. Thank you for reading and of course thank you to those who send condolences and any sort of moral support
You all are my family away from home, I just hope you all know that you will be deeply missed by me and many others when God send for you. 4Love always and forever,
~Krys~
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