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Proof That I Really Don't Want Children

So one of my dad's friends in a natural-path from the US and when she comes to Canada to "test" people they set up at our house. If it's not so bad that my house is overrun with people I don't know for a week, this time one of the people getting tested had two kids.1

Now, I really wouldn't give a fuck about watching them if she had actually asked me, but noooo, she first leaves the three-year-old near me saying "oh you don't have to watch her, she'll just watch tv" which was true. But then she sets the younger one who just learned how to crawl next to the three-year-old and told the three-year-old to watch him. Yeah, like that's going to fucking happen. Now I'm chasing this little kid who just grew teeth and is fond of biting my arm around the living room, trying to stop him from crawling onto stuff and breaking open his head.2

And then, just to put icing on the fucking cake, the three-year-old gave him a piece of apple, that he proceeded to chew up, and then spit out onto the carpet. So now I'm cleaning mashed up apple and spit off the fucking carpet, and it's nearly making me hurl. If the lady tries to get me to change the kid's diaper I'm bolting.3

This just proves that I never, ever want a kid. I'm already partly OCD and having someone else's spit on me makes me want to barf.4

 5

I'm too much of a fucking clean-freak for this.6

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  • ten thousand cicadas gold member
    September 24
    Edit | Reply
    Ha, Sorry, Chels. I guess I've gotten used to spit (and worse) getting on me... I had to laugh. If you ever change your mind 10 years from now or so... it will be different if they are your own...
    Apples... try getting up peanut butter and jelly...

    Enjoyed reading this, doll. Hope the house clears out for ya soon.


    • February Moon gold member
      September 24
      Edit | Reply
      If it was peanut butter and jelly I would have been leaving it for my dad when he gets home.


  • SpydurPoet gold member
    September 24
    Edit | Reply
    I'm sorry. As a mom, this had me busting at the seams laughing. Yes, some people are definitely not meant to have children, but you know what? I was like that before I had my son, and having my son completely changed me.
    I'm not telling you anything, just saying.
    Thanks for putting a smile on my face, I hope your day goes better.


    • February Moon gold member
      September 24
      Edit | Reply
      Haha, I know, if it's my own kid I probably won't mind the spit so much. But I dunno.

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