My friends still think I'm pathetic. Although they don't voice it. Say it's stupid that I'm still pinning after a guy who isn't there. Who doesn't want to be there. But you know. I'm not pinning after him...I became so dependent on him that I don't know what to do. And no, although no one believes me, I don't want him back as a boyfriend. I told him everything and when I get upset over things my friends don't understand I don't know who to turn to....1
My sister pushed me onto a box tonight. It was on accident....sorta.... but it still upset me. I walked off like I was mad and went outside. But my uncle was out there and it was raining so I turned around and went in my room. I just started sobbing and I don't really know why. I don't like to be pushed around...2
And in the middle of all that I wanted to call him and get him to calm me down...I almost did.3
At last minute I remember that he never wanted to talk to me again and it hurt. I should be over this. It's been almost 4 months since I blew up at him and he then told me that he wasn't my friend. They say you spend 2x the time getting over a relationship than you spent on it. In truth I spent almost 10 months on that relationship. We were only together for 2 honestly. But I fell in love with him after the first week I knew him. I still am in love with him.4
Sadly even though he hurt me this way...if he called I'd go running back to him. Sad isn't it?5
Tired of my pathetic problems yet??6
School started....so did the memories. Passed the place we first kissed friday. Wanted to just curl up in a ball and cry...my heart literally stopped.God I miss him.7
8
"Valentine's Day"9My insides all turned to ash, so slow
And blew away as I collapsed, so cold
A black wind took them away, from sight
And held the darkness over day, that night10
And the clouds above move closer
Looking so dissatisfied
But the heartless wind kept blowing, blowing
I used to be my own protection, but not now
Cause my path had lost direction, somehow
A black wind took you away, from sight
And held the darkness over day, that night11
And the clouds above move closer
Looking so dissatisfied
And the ground below grew colder
As they put you down inside
But the heartless wind kept blowing, blowing12
So now you're gone, and I was wrong
I never knew what it was like, to be alone13
On a Valentine's Day, on a Valentine's Day
On a Valentine's Day, on a Valentine's Day
On a Valentine's Day, on a Valentine's Day
(I used to be my own protection, but not now)
On a Valentine's Day, on a Valentine's Day
(Cause my mind has lost direction, somehow)
On a Valentine's Day, on a Valentine's Day
(I used to be my own protection, but not now)
On a Valentine's Day, on a Valentine's Day
(Cause my mind has lost direction, somehow)
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