Confessions of a coward

This weekend was an execptionally heavy one. I had about 12 hours sleep all weekend, I'm pretty tired! And not enjoying my Monday morning at all. So, I thought I'd come on here and release some of the thoughts that have been haunting me these past few days.
I still haven't split up with MNG, I really don't know what to say. I'm pretty much certain I don't wanna be with him, well not just him - anyone, but I still don't know what to say or how to say it. This is what I always knew I'd dread about dating again, going through blokes who are in no way suitable for me, liking guys then not liking them. I really thought once I was married that'd be it for me and the dating game. Guess you never know what's coming round the corner.
I still have to find a way of breaking up with MNG, I just need to find the right time and place. Obvioulsy, it is commpletely my fault I want us to part. Whilst I've been thinking about it I've tried to find stupid reasons to break up with him, blaming little things he does, but it is all me. I feel really bad for even thinking it, but I don't even want to kiss him anymore, I know I can do better. I've never thought that about myself before, but I've learnt a lot about me this year and I finally know my own self worth. I think I need a bit of extra time on my own. Or some time with a really hot guy, one who is possibly rich as well.
But, over a week of having these doubts later, I'm still just thinking and not doing. I know how harsh it is to him, know I should talk to him - esp. as now I've opened up to other people about it, I know I'm being unfair. But at the same time, people have always treated me like shit, maybe its just my turn to concentrate on me and stop worrying about everyone elses feelings.
After about a month of not speaking to my ex-husband I was doing alright, my new relationship was even doing good, but after having to speak to him last week about the car registration, I keep thinking about him. Not so much him, but I'm still sad at the loss of what we had. I know its worked out for the best, I know I could have always done better than him even, but it still hurts. I wonder if its the rejection thing or just because I truely believed we'd last forever. Whenever he talks about our relationship now he makes out it was crap and unhappy, and the way he forgets to phone me back when he should be sorting things out really cuts me. Maybe it's easier for him to deal with by acting this way, but once again his emotional ertardness hurts me.
OH, that rant did not help. I'm sounding like a really biiter, twistde ex-wife. I'm really not. It just seems whenever I write on here he has just cropped up and stirred feelings up again. I really feel like phoning him up and just having a go at him for everything, but I know it won't help. The best thing I can do right now is cut all cords with him.