long story short...

I've been thinking alot lately, that everything is a pattern. think of it as one huge quilt. the thoughtful and careful stitches, the over analyzed pattern... That is life. each stitch is symbolic of every move we make. Every decision pushes the needle and thread through into something permanent. One stitch that is maybe slightly off or crooked, may resemble a bad decision or and outcome different than that which we expected. Thats's life and at the end of it all, we have a pattern, one that we've created all on our own. 1

I've also come to believe that being naive when you're young, is what makes ambition possible later in life. Chalk it up to a life experience. You live and grow while learning from the mistakes you make as a young, naive person. You know you have time left on Earth, but no one ever really knows how much. I've finally realized that I used my own narcissism as a tool on other people. eventually, I came to accept the fact that i spent too much time wanting others to love themselves the way I love myself. I guess i'm the kind of person that wants other people to be so damn delusional about how great they are and can be; then fight so hard for that everyday until the lie becomes a truth. 2

Fairy tales show the magic that is inherent in real life. Every person believe in love either forever, or at some point in their life. We are all born with the idea that there is such profound love for everyone, that we are to recieve from others. It is the only thing we have that can be considered "magic" in its real and truest form. I haven't ever really believed in "fate" or "kismet" the way I see it, that is just one more deluded thing to hold onto as a way of escaping reality. It starts out small, Santa, the toothfairy... then it leads to you being 35 married to a complete asshole with 3 kids... because you had a recurring dream and in that dream, he was 'the one.' That isn't fate, that's just proving that you're a moron. I do, however believe in compatibility... Not that there is one person for everyone, but instead that there are several, possibly several hundred or even thousand, people that are compatible with someone and finding one of these people and putting forth the effort to make the relationship work, yeah, I do believe the odds of that happening are slim to none and slim just went on vacation. So, what do you do when you can't find your "soulmate" ??? You suck it up, move on and find someone that is worth spending your time with before your time is gone. I am so damn sick and tired of people bitching about how they can't find the "one" guess what... THERE ISN'T A "ONE"!!! so go out and find your two, three or four. 3


now... i have this theory... ermm... tell me if it's weird...
I think it is possible that there are 8 universes, that travel counterclockwise. Our universe would be roughly 4 or 5 o'clock.... and that everything "paranormal" that happens is nothing more than a glimpse of the universe ahead or behind our own... strange? i think its fairly likely...