Yep so this is another journal
I guess.....1
im crying now which im so tired of doing....and cutting again *sigh*
i really do try to stop and i had gone far now with it but today i lost the power to stop and just let it all out....2
my dad had a moan at me today because well you ready for a long story....3
the foster kid had been messing with my knickers and bra for months now and i had finally lost it with him,he had also stole my ipod,phone and other things from me aswell as cleaning the toilet with my toothbrush, so i decided it was time that i got the little bastard back...dont you think so?4
so i got his underpants and stuck them on the outside of his window and stuck a note beside it saying 'bog rat' as he is known for breaking the toilet aswell, so then he went into his room and saw them outside stuck to the window and obviously i got in SERIOUS trouble for it. i dont blame myself for getting into trouble but what i do think which is really unfair is that when he steals something or swears or hits me he never gets in serious trouble but when i do something back i get into the worst shit anyone could have.5
now my dad wont listen to me i was like he does stuff to us why cant i do anything back then he said hes a kid shanice and he has feelings,so then i really started i was like well dont i have feelings??? im tired of living in this house which has to have locks on all the doors so then i stuff doesnt get stolen.my dad didnt have answer because everyone else said a similar thing so then i went upstairs and thought what the hell have i just done???6
before i knew it the razor was in my hand blood was running down my arm only to try and calm myself down,then i made myself even more stressed because i shouldnt even be self harming!!!!!!!!7
omg ive gone on so long im sorry if youve read a whole lot of bullshit but im trying not to cut anymore so im writing everything what comes out of my head out!!!8
thanks for reading take care x
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wow, i know what its like when your not supposed to be self-harming.
my psychiatrist keeps trying to force me to stop, its like she doesnt actually understand.
i know what its like to try for so long, then you just cant take anymore.
i keep trying my hardest to stop too, and when i do it againm, it makes me feel so totally crap, which makes me do it even more...
anyway, yeah, if you ever wanna talk to someone you can talk to me, even though we dont even know each other...
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aww thanks for the reply and im sorry for the late reply on this,well if you want to we could get to know each other?....talk to you soon take care xxx
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