why did this have to happen to me? and why am i so sad? its a good thing that im not talking to him anymore, he was a sick person. wanting a 12 year old gf when he's 25!! i just feel so stupid and vulnerable!! and i feel a little guilty because he's getting in a lot of trouble from me telling on him, but i could be saving other girls by doing it. it just hurts to know that im that stupid, that stupid!! im such a mess, a big crying mess!! how am i expected to go to school if i cant stop crying tomarrow? i dont know why im so sad, when i think about it its really sick and discusting, but it was halfway my fault, i led him on. i gave him my email and cell phone number, i sent him pics. i brought this on myself!! and thats eating at me and making me feel like such a worthless piece of crap!! i need someone to cry on, someone to be there for me!! i dont want to talk to my family and my friends wont understand so what the hell do i do? im a big mess and i dont know how to make it better!! i need some help to, i need someone to talk to. but i just want to be alone. how do i make it better? how do i make it all stop and go back to normal?
Add your comment
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
-
Thank you guys SO MUCH for your comments and advice. I know everything will be fine
I dont feel guilty about turning him in anymore, I just feel really stupid. And I got this book from the school library that is about this girl that met this guy @ a concert and they started seeing eachother, he was 18 and she was 14. The guy ends up raping her and she feels responsible and guilty. He gave her HIV and she dies. Its the journal of a real girl and when i started reading it i cried for hours because i realized how that could have been me, he could have raped me if we would havr met, he could have done these horrible things to me. And I fee like its all my fault and how could i be so stupid and nieve. So i still feel really sad and vulrible but i no it will get better thank you guys again!
Liz -
-
I am SO sorry, Lizzy Bear, after what happened. You told me about it, but I don't think I really understood how you felt until after I read this.
Talk to me about it if you want to. I love you, Cuzzy, no matter what you do. And, in the beginning, when I first heard you talk about him, I never thought it was a good idea. But, I never really told you exactly how I felt about it. And now, I feel horrible. Just know that Lola and I are here for you. I know that your mom got mad, but you can't really blame her. And, I know you and Kassi fight a lot, like me and Lola, but if you talked to her about it, you'll find out that she really does care. 
I love you, Lizzy Bear.
-
i am glad u r better baby we are watching out for u
-
-
You may never fully go back to normal. This is the hard truth of the matter, but if it is comforting at all. WE ARE ALL Stupid from time to time. I'm stupid and I've been hurt DEEPLY due to my stupidity, but eventually we get smarter and eventually we can be happy or atleast find some kind of peace. I hope that you find it. You're still young. You're not so much stupid as you are Niave. Do NOT feel guilty he KNEW what he was doing...YOU DIDN'T even if you say you did you didn't. So please just work on not feeling so bad. You did the right thing by telling on him. You have more guts at 12 than I do at 19. You have my RESPECT. If you need to talk msg me. I'm around for the most part.
-
Oh honey here is what you do
Look into your phone book and find the abuse hotline .You call them and give them this guys email address fro messages he has sent to you and you tell them what he is up to .The law will take it over fro there and they will find him and take care of it . On your page do you have your proper age for if you dont then you will get many more people like this . And honey never ever give the people on allpoetry your phone number or address .And think of it this way honey you have learned somehing today so this in itself will keep you from ever dioing it again . People like him knows just what to say to young girls to get the to talk so if anyone asks you for your private address or phone numbers then honey place them on your ignore list on the sight and they cant tlak to you on here anymore . -
Honey I am Wander of the sky's ap mother. He sent me your journal entry. first of all you need to tell you parents. you really do. Then get the cell number changed asap and change your passwords on your email and if you ened to change the email. These kinds of men are prediters and know how to worm their way into others lives. It was not your fault at all . And think of this as a learning experience. Next time you won't be so vulnerable. Never never give out your cell number to anyone that you don't know. and your email addy whouldn't have personal information on it that can trace back to you. but like I said tell your parents, change your cell number and email. If you need someone to talk to you can come to me. I will gladly listen and try to help if I can
-
Oh sweety I am so sorry. Some people are really just sick and you had to learn at such a young age about this mess up world. I am here for you and you did a good thing telling on this man. You did nothing wrong.
-
Liz, believe what everybody here says that it's not your fault. I'm glad AP is doing everything they can to help you with this matter. No matter how nice someone is to you on the internet, even if they claim to be a person your age, never give out anything personal about yourself unless it's someone you know in real life and trust. After all, you just never know what circumstances it could lead to. I wish I could make this pain go away. But you can talk to me whenever you want. I'm here for you and I love you. I'm very sorry this happened.
Brian -
Dear child
please understand that sometimes there are sick people in this world that only prey on others. The ones who don't understand what is happening.
It is never the victims fault. It is always the predators fault. They are deliberatly causing this situation. And they know what is happening.
You dear one are an innocent child. Who needs to play with their friends. Ride bikes. Go to parties. And be safe from these predators.
Next time... should you be approached in such a way you will know how do deal with it.
Just know for now... that you are okay. That adults are taking care of this.
And go about your life...
-
aww honey it's not your fault. You didn't know and don't blame yourself. Don't get upset because you told on him. He doesn't deserve to be on here if he's going to be like that. And tomorrow at school put on a smile nothing will happen to you at all
-
My dear, YOU are not to blame for any of this. He's an adult and the one to blame...totally. I promise you that this is being handled by us in administration. We do not tolerate this kind of thing on AP and as I told you earlier, we take this kind of thing very seriously at AP and the member in question will be handled according to policy.
Please try to not blame yourself. Life has a way of teaching us lessons in many different ways. I think you're doing just fine and will know what to do and not do if perchance anything like this ever happens again.
Dee
catz/moderator
-
I'm here for you! I am sorry your going through this.
-
First of all, you need to understand that whatever happened, it was not your fault. The entire blame lies on the adult here, which is him. Feel good about yourself, because in confiding to another adult about this man, you have helped save other girls just like you. No matter how you feel you provoked him, erase that thought. it is his responsibility as an adult to practice restraint. No matter what you did, he should know better, and he does know better. He is the predator. Cheer up although I know it's hard. You did the right thing.
Adding your comment:
1 - 13 of 13
Recent Journals
-
2 days ago, In Depression, Life, My own personal thoughts, Pain, Personal, Sad, Thoughts. 100 words. Friends only.
-
Ok, Ive been thinking about changing my AP name for a while but I just dont know what to change it to . . . . if you have any ideas or suggestions, please let me know what they are so I can decide if I want to use one.on Nov 27 1:32 AM, → 2 comments, Add one?
-
OK, I have a very BIG problem, Im to quite. Like when Im just hangin out with friends or maybe a cute guy, I just shut up, dont say a thing. And so then Im boring and people dont want to hang out with me. . . . . Idk wats up with me but I just dont say anything, I think it might be becuase I try to be funny but I juson Nov 21 1:33 PM, In My life, My own personal thoughts, Personal, Thoughts. 100 words. → 21 comments, Add one?
-
i just got grounded so i can't go on for a week... so i guess i will talk to you guys when i go back on! miss you all! xoxo
-
I bottle up my emotions, and I'm tired of it. So today I'm just crying until there are no more tears. I'm crying because I feel empty. I long for a person to love me and who I love. But it seems like I will never get that person. I know I'm young, but I feel older. It's hard to explain, I have the feelings and longinon Jul 15 5:16 PM, In Life, Longing, Lost in thought, Personal, Self, Thoughts, Weird. 100 words. → 2 comments, Add one?
-
now that i really think about it, i dont no much about being depressed i mean i keep writing stuff about it, but im not really depressed, just sad sometimes i mean, i definately havent lived long enogh to be depressed i just feel sorry for myself so i write about being depressed and stuff but i just feel sorry fon Jun 27 4:42 AM, In Lost in thought, My life, Personal, Sad, Self, Thoughts. 200 words. → 2 comments, Add one?
