Can you believe I wrote this to "Heartless" ?

You ever had those words you wanted to say? So badly? the ones that are on the tip of your tongue, whether it's anger or sadness, pain or happiness? Do You? Those ones that just say it all, letting it out in a matter of seconds.. so much built up inside that you just want to blow it up and be done with it? Yeah believe me, I feel your pain. They are at the tip as I write this... So much has happened in these last few weeks that my heads spinning. So much anger and rage.. but yet so much sadness and tears... My heart is broken and healed at the same time... Because I know what I need, or rather what I want, but then again things have changed drastically and made the comprehension very difficult to understand. Life for me has ceased to move and has decided to stand still, replaying nights after night in my head like a movie.... Song after song I just break down, trying to figure it out, picking up a piece and dissecting it, only to find nothing. WHATS THE USE?! Like I told my friend, today, I understand why people consider death. I truly do. But I'm not like that, and I'm not taking that way out. As we all know, I have always been a fighter, and always shall remain a fighter. Taking your life, to me, has always been an easy way out... Like I said, I understand why one would take the choice, but then I know why one shouldn't. Their are people who need me. Maybe not in the exact way im looking for, but still, need me. If you ever feel the need that death is better then life, then you obviously dont care about everyone as much as you thought you did. If you feel that you being gone, is better for them? Then go ahead, watch from below or up high and see how much hurt you have left people. Death is never the answer. Never. Because as much as you think it may set you free, you obvioulsy dont understand freedom. You must not have loved people as much as you thought, if you felt death was the answer. So for me, I know theres something worth living for, even if its not what I want. Because I do Love people. No matter how cruel someone can be, or how hurtful, I'll be right here, with my big ol heart, ready to take you up in my arms, and tell you its ok. That is who I am. A vessel for all your pains. My purpouse is to live and speak. I write what others wont say, and talk about what needs to be said. My plan, for my life, still uncertain... My mind changes constantly, but one thing for sure, is to be that one guy that people can turn to. I may get stepped on and walked over, and yeah im way better then that, but its the price I must pay to stay below the radar. An uncommon man, in a common world. I have a big heart, and I love with all that I have when I do love. It may have hurten me alot to be this way, but I am damn proud of being who I am.