Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

but what you dont know is..

so um, i just realized i suck at writing blogs. my mind is always completely moving and it never focuses on one complete thought at once. but like alot of the time my mind is stuck on him and how i constantly check my phone out of habit to see if he's called or texted me. or the fact that i'm always at the mailbox ready and waiting for his letter to say that he loves me. i'm going completely out of my mind and it's so strange. i tell all my friends that everytime i meet a guy that, he's so special and he's perfect and lets be completely honest they've all been assholes, and they all hurt me and they were always too busy for me or too needy for my taste or just wanted me for my body, which i still don't see why. but him, who i will refer to as the marine..because that's what he'll be in 86 days yeah :] i'm still counting. but anyway yesterday i spent hours reading our little IM conversation it showed that i can't stay mad at him, even when he does little things that bother me.. like ughhh we have some amazing;ly sweet conversations that make me miss him more than i'd evr imagine. like one night... i hadn't talked to him in forever and i was mad at the fact that i didn't and... so i just wanteed to tell him that my friend told me to tell him hi... and it went from there. and he was just so sweet didn't even know that i was mad and i forgot that i was... and convo went something like this thisconvoislong :] 1

 2

 3

Mrb9Gms (11:51:21 PM): i wish i were there 4

Mrb9Gms (11:51:30 PM): that way i could try to make u feel beteter 5

Mrb9Gms (11:51:38 PM): and make u pancakes in bed!!! dani sez smile (11:51:56 PM): you'd have to get in my house first... 6

Mrb9Gms (11:52:09 PM): i'd climb thru a window? 7

dani sez smile (11:52:19 PM): 2 story house 8

Mrb9Gms (11:52:26 PM): and 9

Mrb9Gms (11:52:42 PM): if i wanna see danielle i will se danielle dani sez smile (11:52:58 PM): you're capable of falling and hurting yourself more than anyone who has ever thought of climbing through my window 10

Mrb9Gms (11:53:11 PM): so what 11

Mrb9Gms (11:53:16 PM): i'd risk it for u 12

dani sez smile (11:53:27 PM): broken people aren't fun to explain... 13

Mrb9Gms (11:53:46 PM): thats y they dont stay around 14

Mrb9Gms (11:54:44 PM): i'll crawl away 15

Mrb9Gms (11:54:44 PM): lol 16

dani sez smile (11:55:06 PM): ... and how exactly will you be getting yourself medical attentionn 17

Mrb9Gms (11:55:15 PM): driving to le hospital 18

Mrb9Gms (11:55:22 PM): but i dont plan on hurting myself Mrb9Gms (11:55:32 PM): i plan on makin u feel better 19

dani sez smile (11:56:17 PM): says the sick one. 20

Mrb9Gms (11:56:32 PM): so what 21

Mrb9Gms (11:56:39 PM): we can be sick together 22

dani sez smile (11:57:19 PM): lol we can take over my sisters room then.. it's bg enough 23

Mrb9Gms (11:57:33 PM): sweet 24

Mrb9Gms (11:58:27 PM): but i'd spend time with u in a box if i had to 25

dani sez smile (11:58:41 PM): bleh boxes... 26

Mrb9Gms (11:58:44 PM): lol 27

Mrb9Gms (11:58:55 PM): dani makees it all worth it 28

 29

and then later he says 30

dani sez smile (12:13:23 AM): anyway... mr. sick person. why aren't you sleeping.. still 31

Mrb9Gms (12:13:31 AM): u woke me 32

Mrb9Gms (12:13:33 AM): i love u 33

Mrb9Gms (12:14:39 AM): so im up 34

Mrb9Gms (12:14:48 AM): talkin to u 35

Mrb9Gms (12:14:54 AM): cuz ur awesome 36

Mrb9Gms (12:14:59 AM): and 37

Mrb9Gms (12:15:17 AM): i feel good 38

Mrb9Gms (12:15:21 AM): talkin to u 39

Mrb9Gms (12:15:25 AM): cuz i smile 40

Mrb9Gms (12:15:33 AM): so ur special 41

Mrb9Gms (12:15:41 AM): now be hapy 42

Mrb9Gms (12:15:47 AM): and less sick 43

dani sez smile (12:16:11 AM): can't particularly help that. Mrb9Gms (12:16:47 AM): omg 44

Mrb9Gms (12:16:54 AM): too many words 45

Mrb9Gms (12:16:58 AM): stick to three 46

dani sez smile (12:17:09 AM): ? lol 47

Mrb9Gms (12:17:20 AM): lol 48

Mrb9Gms (12:17:29 AM): didnt u notice 49

Mrb9Gms (12:17:34 AM): only three words 50

dani sez smile (12:19:19 AM): but i don't51

dani sez smile (12:19:22 AM): like odd numbers 52

dani sez smile (12:19:28 AM): they bugg me 53

Mrb9Gms (12:20:42 AM): my fav number 54

Mrb9Gms (12:20:45 AM): the nmber 3 55

Mrb9Gms (12:20:52 AM): then its 7 56

Mrb9Gms (12:20:56 AM): and then 9 dani sez smile (12:21:44 AM): >_< 57

Mrb9Gms (12:22:00 AM): i.l.y. 58

Mrb9Gms (12:22:09 AM): a whole bunch 59

dani sez smile (12:22:23 AM): ily but odd numbers! 60

Mrb9Gms (12:22:51 AM): eh everything comes back to the number 4 61

dani sez smile (12:23:04 AM): yes.. yes it does ^_^ 62

Mrb9Gms (12:23:09 AM): lol 63

dani sez smile (12:24:31 AM): hm i want cheese... 64

Mrb9Gms (12:24:36 AM): lol 65

Mrb9Gms (12:24:38 AM): headaches 66

dani sez smile (12:24:57 AM): i didn't eat cheese today... well excluding doritos 67

dani sez smile (12:26:16 AM): though.. we did have fondue yesterday.. 68

Mrb9Gms (12:26:30 AM): fodue? 69

dani sez smile (12:26:42 AM): ... 70

dani sez smile (12:26:44 AM): yes 71

dani sez smile (12:27:46 AM): ... it's what made me a happy camper.. 72

Mrb9Gms (12:27:54 AM): ^_^ 73

dani sez smile (12:28:15 AM): but.. not anymore 74

dani sez smile (12:30:10 AM): in some random freak accident.. my right arm hurts Mrb9Gms (12:30:19 AM): ... 75

dani sez smile (12:30:33 AM): ... yes 76

dani sez smile (12:35:51 AM): >_> goooo tooo sleeeeep Mrb9Gms (12:35:56 AM): u first 77

dani sez smile (12:36:57 AM): i can't dani sez smile (12:37:00 AM): my head hurts 78

Mrb9Gms (12:37:06 AM): ;-* 79

Mrb9Gms (12:37:12 AM): *kissyface* 80

dani sez smile (12:37:25 AM): *kissyface* off you go 81

Mrb9Gms (12:37:31 AM): nope 82

dani sez smile (12:37:44 AM): aw poo Mrb9Gms (12:37:49 AM): tryna get rid of me lol 83

dani sez smile (12:37:54 AM): ... 84

dani sez smile (12:38:01 AM): i would never Mrb9Gms (12:38:06 AM): lol 85

Mrb9Gms (12:38:29 AM): i feel like this is the equivilant of 'go slee on the couch' 86

Mrb9Gms (12:38:34 AM): sleep* 87

dani sez smile (12:38:46 AM): ...lol no Mrb9Gms (12:38:48 AM): lol 88

Mrb9Gms (12:38:58 AM): i'll get my sleein bag 89

Mrb9Gms (12:39:03 AM): sleepin* 90

dani sez smile (12:40:14 AM): i have a mickey sleeping bag 91

Mrb9Gms (12:40:27 AM): mine is green 92

dani sez smile (12:40:47 AM): .. mines blue.. with yellowish 93

dani sez smile (12:43:33 AM): grr i need an eyepatch 94

Mrb9Gms (12:45:01 AM): y? 95

Mrb9Gms (12:45:05 AM): pirates suck 96

dani sez smile (12:45:29 AM): because my right eye is suffering from my headache 97

Mrb9Gms (12:45:39 AM): ??? 98

Mrb9Gms (12:45:48 AM): goto sleep drink water 99

dani sez smile (12:45:51 AM): i'd be the best damn pirate anywho.. 100

dani sez smile (12:45:53 AM): no.. idw 101

Mrb9Gms (12:45:53 AM): take meds 102

dani sez smile (12:46:09 AM): meds.. 103

dani sez smile (12:46:42 AM): ...idk where i put themm... Mrb9Gms (12:46:46 AM): .... 104

dani sez smile (12:47:52 AM): ... 105

Mrb9Gms (12:48:11 AM): ilove danielle 106

Mrb9Gms (12:48:18 AM): she's amazing 107

Mrb9Gms (12:48:51 AM): she makes me feel happy 108

Mrb9Gms (12:48:56 AM): when i am donw 109

Mrb9Gms (12:49:00 AM): down* 110

Mrb9Gms (12:49:07 AM): and for that i thank thee 111

dani sez smile (12:49:45 AM): ^_^ i feel sepcial 112

dani sez smile (12:53:40 AM): found my meds! 113

Mrb9Gms (12:54:07 AM): yaya 114

Mrb9Gms (12:54:13 AM): im outtie tho luff dani sez smile (12:54:21 AM): *i win! 115

Mrb9Gms (12:54:26 AM): eh 116

Mrb9Gms (12:54:29 AM): nighterz 117

dani sez smile (12:54:50 AM): say it..say "danielle you won" lol night... 118

Mrb9Gms (12:55:29 AM): danielle i love you 119

Mrb9Gms (12:55:31 AM): nighterz dani sez smile (12:55:38 AM): that works too120

 121

so if you can't tell we are really weird and he's a sweet heart. and what words burn in my head are the last ones he said to me before he left :[ "never forget how important you are to me" it's a small struggle day by day. for whatever reason guys have decided to attach themselves to me and i don't want that i just want guy friends not boyfriends it's just totally different and none of them understand that, and they all know it. i flaunt him around he's on my cell phone he's my first thought when i wake up in the morning and when i go to bed at night. he's in my dreams and their bittersweet for reasons as i've got to wait forever till i can talk to him. i just really have to hear his voice... no matter how many times i say it... i know it won't bring him back. any faster.122

Add your comment

    : Comment:

Recent Journals

  • distance+insecurity= me on a bad day.
    so if you don't know. i have boyfriend who is at marine bootcamp till october. 1 2 so anyway like an hour ago. i got a bad feeling in my tum-tum and i just clicked on his facebook. 3 no i know he's not a cheater, but i have had so my fudged up relationships that i'm unsusre of my own sanity. 4
    on Aug 8 9:17 PM, 200 words. → 1 comment, Add one?
  • letter to the m.i.a
    1 dear you, 2 so i've been counting down the days tille you come back [88] and i'm so freaking i don't wanna say miserable but i also didn't know i was capable of missing you so much. i think while i was anticipating your departure i had put up this huge front of me missing you so much. but you know when i d
    on Jul 24 4:12 PM, 500 words. → Make first comment?
  • 90 days
    i had about 4 dreams about him today. which is unusual. 1 that's all i have to say. i just really need to hear from him or something.. 2 i didn't know that i'd miss hom this much. it's not normal. 3 maybe i'll post the dreams later... maybe
    on Jul 22 9:20 PM, 100 words. → Make first comment?
  • so long love.
    so today was the day my boyfriend shipped himself to california for 92 days aka 3months for marine bootcamp. it makes me sad. like unusually sad. i don't if it's because i got so close to him in the 5years of friend ship and 2months of dating. or maybe its because i really just love him more than i ever knew was pos
    on Jul 20 9:38 PM, 100 words. → Make first comment?
  • ...just somehting that had to be said...
    constantly that stupid quote thing replays through my head. 'you don't know what you have till its gone' well honestly i knew what i had and silly me.. didn't take an i hate the fact that you're happy..well scratch that because that's rude i hate that you aren't happy with me. i sit in class for that stupid hour an
    on Feb 17 9:37 PM, In ..  300 words. → Make first comment?
  • 1.20.09
    on Jan 20 2:10 PM, 100 words. → 2 comments, Add one?
  • things about him that make me happy [part 1]
    1. he bites me in the best and least sexual places 2. he pokes my nose; i think it makes him laugh. 3. he likes it when i laugh, even when i'm laughing through tears 4. electricity sparks between us when i kiss him. 5. we've kissed over 55times in one day alone 6. watching movies with him on my couch is better than
    on Jan 12 9:47 PM, 200 words. → 2 comments, Add one?