so im not allowed to feel?

so suddenly wut i want doesn't matter? Ur so wrapped up in ur own little world where everything revolves around u u cant even see how much ur hurting me. u had ur chance with him y do u suddenly want him again? its not like ull actually love him and uve already proved u don't care who u sleep with all u care about is sex. maybe i should just tell u how i feel but ull just b pissed. I've tried to show u y don't u see it? how often do i say someone seems kool? wen have i ever said i thought someone was fun and cute? wen do i talk to ppl i haven't met bfor? wen am i nice and playful with anyone? just with him but u cant see past urself to wut i want......it probably doesn't matter anyway. y would he ever want me? i know i don't have a snowballs shot in hell with him but wen do i like anyone? y cant u just let someone else have something for once? i cant even b happy without pissing u off? u tell me stop being so sad all the time and wen i do u think i don't care at all? wut do u want from me? i cant tell u how to feel i cant even tell me how to feel im just trying to stay sane enough to help wen i can. now that's not even good enough? y cant u just understand how selfish ur being? y cant u see wut im trying to tell u? y don't u care wut im saying? don't i deserve to try to find love too?