I guess that L-O-V-E was a word that my heart never fully comprehended. To my misfortune, a dark cloud seems to float overhead and block the sunny sides of any relationship that I'm in.
Joe and I were great. Perfect, actually.
The only problem was that he lived far away, and we barely saw eachother.
A week or so ago, I met Justin. He was an amazing, sweet, hysterical, good looking guy who I was very much attracted to.
Three days later, he asked me out.
I said yes, and broke up with Joe, something that I was planning on doing anyway because of the agony of a long distance relationship.
For the record, Justin is three years older than me, but everything was perfect.
I guess we all have our double sides, don't we?
Yesterday, he was acting like the most immature jerk ever, hanging out with this one kid, Nick, whom I cannot stand.
He didn't even have the decency to sit next to me.
But, worst of all.....worst of all was what he said to me. If any other person had spoken these words I swear I would've been fine with it. But, coming from Justin, my boyfriend, I was not fine. Not at all.
He came up to me and said, "Would it be okay if I think I might be bisexual?"
AGONY. IT IS ABSOLUTE AGONY TO HAVE TO BITE YOUR LIP AND NOT SPEAK YOUR TRUE FEELINGS FOR THE SAKE OF ANOTHER PERSON.
In all honesty, I know tons of bisexual, gay, and lesbian people who I'm great friends with, and even related to, but usually you don't have to go through this with your boyfriend.
I think that when my heart saw Justin, it didn't see a bunch immaturity and secrets he was holding back. It just saw how nice he was at the time, and how hot he looked.
It's a constant battle between my mind and my heart, although I know I need to listen to my heart, and that will set me free.
Maybe I should give him one more day to prove to me his love.
When I see him today, I will either forget everything, or break up with him.
I can't deal with it as it is, and it's only been a few days of us going out.
I have no idea what the hell to do.
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Well...are you going to break up with him because he might be bi? Is that the only reason, or is he really just not worth it?
I know you mentioned that he was acting pretty horrible towards you, and hanging out with Nick, so maybe that's part of it?
I don't know. I wouldn't write him off entirely but I wouldn't cling to him, either. Don't get too attached and don't expect a lot from him. Let it all go by itself and see what happens. -
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I guess I should just see what happens today...thanks for the advice brandi:]
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: ) No problem.
Glad I could help somehow. : ) -
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I took your advice Brandi, about giving Justin another chance, and it worked! He was so cute yesterday, and put his arm around me and looked at me like I was the only one in the room. It made me feel so special. Now, I get to see him again tonight so we'll see how that goes! Thanks so much for the advice<3
-leah -
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Yay! I'm so glad it worked!!! : D
You're welcome. : )
I hope everything stays awesome! : D
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