Comparative Study

Alright, so, I'm really getting into this journal thing - It's your second journal entry, you might say - but phooey(phooey is a word according to Firefox's spell check who knew?) to you, I can do what, and who, I like.1

So, anyway, this is a comparative study of two products that are essentially the same, but have very different success rates and data. I'm putting here, because people might read it, or they might not. If not, shit happens and you're a retard. If you get offended by being called a retard from this entry, then you must be thick, because you would only be a retard if you didn't read it, and if you read it, you wouldn't need to be offended because you would have read it... Believe me, it makes sense in my twisted mind 2

Now, to the study. I have observed the behaviours of two regular alkaline batteries. The only seeming difference would be their packaging. One is Everyready, and the other is Duracell. Now, in every single Everyready ad, they always seem to be saying that their batteries outlast and outperform the Duracell batteries by miles. Kind of like how the hare took off before the turtle. However, after intense study, which wasn't so much intentional as a matter of necessity and survival(I'll explain in a moment), I discovered that Duracell is, in fact, the better battery....3

Here is my unintentional scientific research into these products. I am a Type 1 Diabetic; in other words, insulin dependent, which means I have to have regular insulin injections to survive. Now up until September 2006, I was having those regular injections, but they weren't working so well for me. I had poor control, and constantly had to be hospitalised for treatment. So, after much discussion, I decided to get an insulin infusion pump; an 'artificial pancreas' which negated the need for regular injections, as all I had to do was load the delivery device, and put a cannula in my stomach, and I was right for three days, after which I had to repeat the same procedure. The pump is on 24/7, and manages my insulin levels according to my blood glucose levels. This made life a lot easier, and my management excelled greatly.4

The pump itself is about the size of a mobile phone, and works much the same. There's a menu button, a backlight, a back button, and a navigational pad. It's as easy as 1, 2, 3, and I couldn't be happier. The only problem was that it's battery powered, and I got sick of replacing the battery(it only needs one AA battery) every time I changed the cannula and delivery module. After many times of this frustration, I decided to change brands of battery, to see if that worked. Up until that time, I was using Everyready's 'Heavy Duty' battery, which claimed to have long lasting energy for devices needing constant power, such as my pump. So, I was changing that battery every three days... Great long lasting energy, right? So, I changed to Duracell, and on a whim, decided to get the regular alkaline battery, which essentially had the supposed life of about four hours, according to Everyready. I was a bit dubious about this, but tried it anyway. When my next module change came around, I looked at the battery meter, expecting it to indicate a low reading; much to my surprise, the battery meter was still full. I was a bit shocked, obviously, but I shook it off and changed the modules, leaving the current battery in. Three days later, I did the same, with nearly the same result; the only difference was the battery meter was down to about 3/4 power. I continued monitoring the battery for the next two weeks, and on my fifth change, it finally beeped, indicating the need for a battery change.5

In conclusion, Duracell REGULAR alkaline batteries have 5 times the life of an Everyready HEAVY DUTY alkaline battery. So, if you're ever wondering "should I get the silver one, or the brown topped one?" GO THE BROWN!!!