Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

July 1st, 2009

I feel like a pile of shit today, and I am waiting for the damn doctors office to get me in for some tests, so I can find out what the hell is wrong with me. Of course they are piddlefucking around about it!  I am over emotional and irrational, and I am so uncomfortable that I want to climb out of my skin. It is difficult to be patient when you don't feel good and you just want answers. So I have been surfing the net trying to self diagnose, word to the wise NEVER DO THAT! It has made me even more emotional and irrational. They have prescribed me some anxiety meds that make me feel like I am stoned with an attitude problem, so yes I am fucking whining. Hopefully whatever is wrong with me is fixable, if it isn't I hope its terminal so I don't feel like this much longer. Yes that sounds melodramatic and I don't want to die, I have a lot to live for and children to love and take care of but I just sure as hell don't want to feel like this anymore!!! 1

Ok... On to my next rant.... 2

I have just discovered I have been deceived (nothing new there!) , but the kicker is lately when these things occur there is only a glimmer of agitation bordering anger and then I laugh(evil-like)... Because they actually think they are pulling one over on me. So I will just do a quick shout out and say FUCK YOU...! I am stronger than that...Actually, I should be honest since I pride myself on honesty even with myself. Grumbles...
IT does bother me in a simmering kind of way, I just have more important irritants drilling holes in my mind right now. Knowing me, there will be a explosion in the future. We shall see.3


Thank the heavens for books...4

I found myself crying into my book today, not because it was sad, but because it was so beautiful. 5

(of course this could be due to the emotional, irrational thing going on with me, but I don't think so) 6

This is a book that every women and most men should read.
It is called "The Mermaids Singing" by Lisa Carry.
After reading I discovered this book has affected me profoundly and I will always remember it. It has caused me to see certain things in a different and better light. 7

 8

 9

WOOOO HOOOO.....! 10

 11

I am heading to the mountains for the weekend! Off to play and do my best to have the time of my life! And give me and my family some great memories. I have a poem asignment where my prompt is "My Purpose" 12

Maybe I will find it this weekend. LOL 13

 14

 15

I guess that will be all for now. 16

 17

 18

 19

20

 21

Add your comment

    : Comment:

Recent Journals

  • July 27th 2009
    Idiot me lost my fathers wedding ring this weekend when I was swimming at the lake. I have worn it every day since he passed away 5 years ago. Its such a strange miserable horrifying feeling to loose something irreplaceable like that. I cant even find a proper word to describe it. It would be
    on Jul 27 5:39 PM, 200 words. → 3 comments, Add one?
  • April 28th, 2009
    I feel like a dusty book sitting on a shelf rarely being read. Or worse... one of those books that you check out that has 2 or 3 bookmarks left in it, because they couldn't bother to finish reading. eeek... Steers my thoughts away from that scary metaphor.... Dreaming of days when I can go somewhere and invigo
    on Apr 28 3:18 PM, 200 words. → Make first comment?
  • April 20th, 2009
    It is April 20th, and there was a time before I became a mom and all grown up, where I would have gladly celebrated today by smoking a joint with my friends; then eating the best munchies one could find. But, life has changed and I have become all responsible and.... blah... can I through up now! Sigh... lets just s
    on Apr 20 3:00 PM, 400 words. → Make first comment?
  • April 3rd, 2009
    Last night I took a walk with all three of my boys. (note to self: go alone if you wish to think) My two oldest boys (ages 9 and 6) have decided they love 2 songs. "I'm a Barbie Girl", and "I Kissed a Girl"... Sigh... So they continued along alternating between these two songs which each one, unfortunately has the
    on Apr 3 1:34 PM, 300 words. → 1 comment, Add one?
  • April 2nd, 2009
    So it is April 2nd and I did not have one April Fools joke pulled on me yesterday. Not sure if I should be relieved or offended. lol   I am reading a book called "Gather The Stars" By Kimberly Cates. The title has nothing really to do with the content of the book. I know because I have read it at leas
    on Apr 2 3:41 PM, 200 words. → Make first comment?