Ty's Summer

Journal 1
A Brief Summary1

I've decided to keep a frank and candid journal of my experiences with my eight year old son, Ty. He has Asperger's, an autism spectrum disorder. I am hoping to gain more insight into the things that trigger his challenging and bewildering behavior, into what kinds of things may calm him down, and what kinds of reactions/responses work the best.2

I also have recognized that I need a safe place to vent my own frustrations and worries concerning him. I have become so programmed to never showing anger or frustration to him, as it only escalates any situation we may be having. I need to yell, scream, swear, and cry some, I think. I know that with school now out for the summer, my stress level has skyrocketed.3

I love Ty. Anyone who means him any harm will be sure to find out just how much I love him. He is brilliantly smart, awkwardly funny, and very loving in his own way. Despite his often aggressive behavior, he is enormously sensitive and insecure. He's my Ty-ger, and I want desperately to "figure him out", so that I can help him to deal with and adjust to this world he has to live in. 4

Ty was less than two years old when I first thought there was something "odd" about him. The things he could remember when he could barely even speak astounded me. I can remember thinking of him as "my little 'Rain Man'". As an infant, he was incredibly demanding. He ate nonstop. He hardly slept - ever. He was easily upset. He would cry unconsolably off and on all day and night. When he was three months old, I had him laying on my bed one evening after a bath. I was tickling his tummy, when I noticed that when I brought my fingers up in the air, right before gently tickling his little tummy, his eyes would get great big and wide, and he would open his mouth in a wide smile. I remember thinking he was brilliant because he could anticipate a tickle. I now believe it was a combination of sensory issues and anxiety, but I suppose I could be wrong.5

As a toddler he was .... well... mean. God. It was awful. He was horrible to other kids. If another kid came too close to him, Ty would just scream in their face until they went away. He was very likely to hit, slap, or claw someone, especially me. "Oh, the terrible two's!", people would say, but even then, I had my doubts.6

For his second birthday he received a Thomas the Tank Engine train table and quite a few of the trains. By his third birthday, he could name every single train, what type of train or car they were, what they carried, etc. At age three his attention turned to dinosaurs. For the next five years our lives revolved around dinosaurs. He could not get enough facts about them, and never forgot a single fact learned. His knowledge was quite extensive and impressive... and annoying!7

During this time his aggression also escalated into something that I knew was not normal. I got the typical comments from other parents, relatives, preschool teachers, etc. "He just needs more discipline." "You just need to be more consistent." "You need to show him who's in charge." It didn't take me long to want stomp on the necks of all of these people! (Gee, I don't know where he gets his aggression!) By the time he was four years old, it was common for me to have bloody scratches down my arms, legs, and face from one of his meltdowns. At the slightest disappointment or aggravation he would threaten to hurt or even kill me. Once, when I told him I would put his favorite toy in time out if his behavior didn't change, he told me if I did that he would "put [me] in a box, shoot it with bullets, and make [me] dead."
He would also threaten to kill himself at any little set back or irritation. When he was four or five, he said he would "go into the garage, drain all of his blood, and make himself dead." And I was still having trouble getting anyone to listen to me.8

When his aggression started to turn against his younger sister, Hannah, I was able to get someone to take me seriously. He would hit, kick, push, you name it. Once he even tried to choke her with his hands around her neck. I couldn't leave Hannah alone with him for even a second. If I had to go to the bathroom, she had to come with me.
The Cincinnati Children's Hospital has an extensive diagnostic program. I was able to enroll him, and a little less than a year later, we had our diagnosis. 9

During this process Ty had an abnormal e.e.g.. Because of this, his neurologist said we could put him on anticonvulsant medication that would have the added benefit of mood stabilization. This worked wonders, for a while. There would still be times when Ty would be extremely agitated, unreasonable, and aggressive. In the first grade, when Hannah refused to give up a toy that she was playing with, Ty went to the silverware drawer, pulled out a large butcher's knife, and held it to his own throat. For the next eight months I had to keep all silverware, pens, pencils, paper clips, staples, scissors, anything with a sharp point or edge, in a locked safe. When this incident happened his psychiatrist put him on risperdol, which is an anti-psychotic. It worked wonders on him, and for a while I gave it to him on a daily basis. Now I can give it to him on an as needed basis. 10

Well,there's a very, very brief overview. My plan is to document in these journals his most challenging behaviors and the situations around them. I hope it will lead to me to discover more about him and how to help him.11

More to come...