I despise the very air of people who prance around, deep throating it in your mouth, and going on and on about how they're going to "find themselves." There's an extreme amount of loathing geared to those people. And the funny thing is, they think they're so "deep" [as in, like, an ocean with, like, buried treasure] and so fucking clever for going on some magical, leprecon-farting journey to find who they truly are. It's so outrageously ridiculous and RETARDED it forces me to spontaneously combust. Genius and different my fucking ass. People who set out to define everything are the ones who end up in taxi cabs bitching about how it's so fucking hard to find happiness and how they're going to go on a road trip or travel to somewhere exotic so they can find their soul or heart or whatever it is they think they're special enough to have, but once they step out of that cab it's all clip on smiles and pretending to be infinite [you assholes make Charlie cringe.] And these people go through the rest of their lives believing that they've actually lived and tasted something extraordinary because they went out to find who they truly are and you know what? It's a lie. They're fucking LIARS. People who have "defined" themselves aren't anything remarkable or special, they're boring. They’re routine, cliché, expected. If you've defined yourself, there's no mystery, there's nothing to explore, nothing to keep you guessing and wandering forward and wondering what more is there. You are empty if you've defined yourself. And guess what, nobody feels sorry for you.1
I guess I wrote this as a big fat FUCK YOU to every other attention-whore journal on this site.2
Yeah. Fucking righteous, man. [by the way, I would totally hate someone who used that phrase.]
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when everything is defined there is no point in making decisions or enjoying accomplishments because they are only the definite results of a course of predetermined rules. and whats the point in that? i agree that blowing money out your ass to fly to a 3rd world country and find yourself is pretty useless. its kind of self absorbed... god i hope my journal isnt attention whoring. i cant help but be a whore sometimes i guess.
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no you're journals aren't like that at all. I like your journals because they're thick and there's substances to them. there's a couple on here that I've read and it's so obvious that they were only posted so people could shower them in "OMG i'm liek sooo sorry! if you ever need me, I'm totally here for you!" ugh it makes my eyes bleed.
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There, I took it down off my page, you really have changed my view. And I didn't take it down because I'm scared of you, I actually thought about it.
Happiness...do you find it or have it? I don't know. I think it's something you can have, or develop. Still, I don't think you can only "find it in yourself" by any divine experience.
I think some people want definition for stability, at least you know you have a set structure of yourself when everything else falls apart. -
I love this response to the attention whores
*hides section on look-up that says "I write this to define myself"*
As far as I see it, there are a few ways of looking at it...you can be inconsiderate and self-absorbed to "find yourself" whilst disregarding everyone around you, and being one of those "lost soul" creatures that people insist are "lovable" which a lot of people do.
I don't think peoplw ho say "I'm going to find myself" and people who want to define themselves are the same...and purely to make it personal I have to say the reason I say I was some definition to my being is simply to feel like
I exist as something, and not a series of rebounds from experiences or an evolutionary stage...something about that to me seems to empty.
I do agree, "finding yourself" is a pointless exercise, but I feel it's differnet from "defining yourself" definaition is some sort of clarity that makes things seem clearer.
sometimes you really show how older you are than me, and this really made me think. It reminded me of Buddism in a way. Everything changes, so there is no self, just circumstance.
and I agree, people who look for pity on this website make me laugh.
I aodre your rants, Kendal, and I love how you're not afraid.
And I love you. -
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I understand what you mean by wanting to know who you are and feeling sturdy and comfortable with that knowledge but I don’t like the term “define” it makes it sound so permanent, like there’s no room for change or discovery. I prefer words like “know” and “learn” because as we are ever-changing beings, I think we should be grounded in certain circumstances [as in understand who we are and where these beliefs and feelings come from] but to also understand that we need to learn things about ourselves through new situations. For me, having mystery is exciting because it’s something I can explore and actually take away from, it’s experience. Also, I guess I don’t like the term “define” because personally, I never want to be defined, it would make me feel so caged. I want this wild abandon but also have the comfort of knowing who I am without creating this set-in-stone definition. I agree, “finding yourself” is pointless because you should know who you are on some levels and if you don’t you’re a see-through person, you have no substance or volume. You’re pointless. I’m really glad I did get you to think. And with taking down that message on you’re page, I’m glad it was done for the right reasons, you thought about it. And don’t worry, I wouldn’t have been all huffy about you having it, and that’s fantastic that you weren’t thinking of me, it was your own thoughts. I’m glad that it had an appropriate influence on you verses all those stupid girls on here who would take it down without thinking about it and understanding why they’re doing it. “sometimes you really show how older you are than me” oh god hahaha that made me laugh because you made me sound wise or something for a moment. No I’m just in my “I’m a young woman and I’m angry” phrase [well actually, I’m not a woman and am still very much in fact a girl but I think I’ll just let that slide for now.] It’s a bit different from teenage angst though so I do feel like I’m moving up in the world a little bit. Hahaha. I think I may just use this journal thing for rants. Or maybe I shouldn’t, I’ll probably come across as being too bitter. I guess some things I should just keep to myself. I completely agree on the happiness. I think it’s such bullshit when people say you need to find it in yourself because there are factors outside of you that determine a lot of our emotions. I think it comes from both within and on the outside. I think when you search for it inside it’s sort of selfish because you aren’t focusing on the other factors. You need a balance. All my love
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